Before the 90 Days; Season 8 Episode 19

Elyse & My Beautiful Boyfriend Joshua:

It was the day of Elyse’s departure and she was having one final Australian meltdown. Apparently on their last night together, Elyse was envisioning a hardcore cuddle-fest, but Josh wanted to invite friends over to party. She went along with his plan, but then proceeded to throw a passive aggressive tantrum in the bathroom for the rest of the evening. The following morning, Josh wasn’t sure what to do, so he felt it best if he took off and stopped sharing his location. He eventually returned to the rental house where Roomie Chris was consoling Elyse, as they piled her luggage into the car to head towards the airport.
Josh tried to calm things down as they drove off to catch her flight, assuring her that he was still in love with her while also counting down the minutes until take off. Elise refused to let up about Josh ruining their last night together in her final Australian moments, so Josh defaulted to “sad puppy mode”, playing on her sympathies, since he’s “such a screw up”. Ultimately Josh couldn’t handle Elyse’s line of questioning and disappointed lectures, telling her she just needed to “get over it and move on”. Before boarding her flight, she told him it wasn’t going to work out, as the two hugged and said goodbye for good. The silver lining? Elyse was wearing pants and a sweatshirt. Where has this outfit been the last 18 weeks?! She had a jacket the whole time??? Can’t wait to see which bikini she wears at the Tell All next week.

Laura & Beercan:

For their last day together, BeerCan decided to share his favorite pastime with Laura; Playing soccer. She looked on giddily as he kicked the ball around and did the soccer equivalent of “Harlem Globe Trotter” moves, before he asked her to participate. Although Laura was finding it hard to maneuver in the heat, in jeans, she agreed to the soccer exercise, having flashbacks from faking her period in gym class. BC pulled out a red string and began to ramble about winning, scoring, and some other sports analogies that went over my head. Eventually he cut to the chase, tying the string on her finger and proposed. Laura said “yes”, seeming happy to be the future “Mrs. Can”. The two felt like it would be a long road ahead, but their unlikely love would get through anything. (I’m sure she can’t wait to go home and show off her 4 carat engagement string!)!).
It was finally time for Laura to head home, so she loaded up her junk and met up with Michael, who was on the same flight. Laura flaunted the news to her best guy-pal, who tied his best to congratulate her with any seriousness. BC and Laura had an emotional airport goodbye as she headed back to the states. Looks like next week there will be a lot of Laura/Michael in-fighting at the Tell All! Better bring extra shisha…

Analynn & Jovon:

After the wedding of misery, Analynn was feeling nauseous and tired (Or…. she felt how Jovon looked during their ceremony). She decided to take a pregnancy test, and it appears that a baby Janalynn is on the way! Jovon claimed to be both excited and scared, while Analynn was probably just hoping the kid would have some semblance of a personality, unlike her “boo”. Unfortunately right after finding out they were Parents-To-Be, it was time for Jovon to head back to the U.S. The couple had still not figured out a plan for living together, and now they were about to be a party of three. Analynn was starting to realize that she’d have to go through most if not all of her pregnancy alone, without a mopey sidekick to entertain.
It was finally time for Jovon to droop his way back to the U.S. He said goodbye to his ‘Peen-in-law, who loaded him up with a to-go box of chicken Adobo. Annalyn cried as they kissed goodbye at the airport, while Jovon blinked slowly and waved. Mazel Tov, to the happy-ish couple and their pending bundle of 50% joy (And 50% indifference. It’s genetic).

Daniel & BabyGirl Lisa #2:

Lisa was back in the states with a new wig and a new perspective on her relationship with Daniel. She took a walk with her daughter, Faith, who encouraged her mother to stop trying to fit the mold of being Daniel’s “dream girl”, especially since she feels he’s a scammer. Since being back in the states, Lisa claimed to be a bit skeptical of Daniel’s dedication, as he hadn’t been as “attentive” and communicative as he had prior to the trip (And prior to swimming in a bed of her diarrhea). Faith went on a recon mission going through Daniel’s email to see if there was any foul play that may require another cleansing. Apparently he had another woman’s phone number listed under “Wife”, while Lisa’s number was merely saved as “Liz Baby”.
Lisa finally got Daniel on the video chat and confronted him about his inattentive behavior. He claimed to be working off his debt from their trip, though he was only working one job and playing football (Which is soccer, and very Beercan of him). She then asked him about the woman who was listed as “wife” in his phone, which caused him to chuckle, as he evaded her line of questioning. Lisa cried her mascara off, as she removed her ring and claimed to be calling her relationship quits. I can’t believe she gave up so easily…. WE WENT THROUGH A TRIBAL EXORCISM, PEOPLE!! You don’t get to just give up! That being said, it never was going to work and even the goat knew it.

Sticky Ricky & Trish:

Rick headed to the airport alone, reflecting on his trip where he ultimately ended up leaving single. He reminisced about Trish’s bubbly personality, and how lucky he felt to be with her, despite the fact that he was messaging with his ex behind her back. He sulked through the airport all the way to the baggage claim, but stopped when Trish appeared with a parting gift. She came to say “adios”, bringing a pair of matching shirts she had bought for them to wear together, that he could now bring on his next trip to Colombia when he’d eventually go back to visit his ex. The two ex lovers hugged goodbye, as Rick did Trish the biggest favor he could have done, and left her with the cute lemurs.

Forrest & Charlie Sheen:

It was finally time for Forrest to head home, as the two special lovebirds made their way to the airport. They were joined in the cab by Mother Molly and the deep-thinking Dev, as they recited all of the things they’d miss the most about each other (including teeth grinding, farting, and waddling). It was a big tear-fest at the airport, as they all embraced. Forrest (Wearing his Stetson man cowboy hat) assured Sheen he’d be back as soon as possible, trying to ease her pain. He left his hat as a promise of his return, if for nothing else than his Sheen hat (Or he could always buy another one on the other “Shein”). Sheena even seemed emotional saying goodbye to Mother Molly, who looks to be accusing her of scamming next week during the Tell All.

Aviva & No Stig Da Kid:

Back in Arizona, a very distraught Aviva cried off her lash extensions about her inevitable ending with Stig. She claimed that once she was back in the states, he took a trip out to visit, enjoying their time traveling to Vegas and Houston, where she met more of his family. Upon his return to Belize, however, he became more aloof and was clearly back to his ladies’ man ways. He eventually broke off the engagement via text, only to go on Instagram moments later, hitting on other women. (I’m pretty sure Stevie Wonder could have seen this one coming). Aviva cried snotty tears as she questioned their entire relationship, and it looks like this will make for a spicy Tell All experience!