90 Day Fiance; Season 12 Episode 12

Marissa & Edward:

Marissa was in NYC for a little retail therapy…. As in, she went to try on wedding dresses while having a therapy session with her friends. Marissa’s best friends “oooed and ahhhhed” over her formfitting dress (fully equipped with some kind of lacey neckbrace accessory) though they weren’t as thrilled with her choice of groom. Marissa admitted that she was having second thoughts, being that Edward wasn’t the independent, financially stable man who fit in perfectly to her life’s many specifications. The Friends Marissa advised her to end things before they got any closer to the wedding, to avoid more drama (and lost deposits). 
Later on Edward made a surprise trip to the city to discuss the awkward state of their relationship, with a peace offering of coffee. Though she was impressed that he knew how to purchase coffee, Marissa still seemed to feel like he was an incompetent cabana boy. Edward made it known that he didn’t appreciate the way she had been treating him, especially since she had acted totally different while visiting him on “vacation mode”. (Stevie Wonder could see this coming from a mile away… I’m so confused). 

Thomas & Paula:
Back on the farm… Thomas and Paula were busy helping the parental units with their busy farm chores. While Paula helped Thomas’s stepmother spread some teeny tiny seeds in the garden to manifest some vegetables, she brought up the issue of reconnecting with Thomas’ biological mom. StepmomTom tried to explain that she felt betrayed, since she was the one who raised Thomas, and his mother had jumped ship years ago. 
After clearing the air, it was finally time for the couple to head out of the hills and back to LaLa Land where they could fight about perfume, or couches, or meat, or gluten….take your pick!

Ashia & Maxwell:
The family Ashia finally touched down at my favorite airport- Lagos International; Where the scams of your dreams become a reality. The group consisted of Ashia’s two sisters, Glenda and CherryCola, her Mom’s bestie, and sassy Godbrother, Rod. Aisha and her mom (Who is basically Stanley from “The Office”) waited patiently for their arrival at the AirBNB. Aisha greeted her guests, giving them a little time to wash up and change for dinner, where they would unwittingly be walking into a makeshift engagement party of sorts. 
The group then went in a cab to a beachside restaurant where Maxwell and family were all waiting. After a brief introduction of names and titles, Aisha casually mentioned the couple would be getting married in the next few days. Her entire entourage seemed stunned, but pretended to be excited.
Godbrother Rod was the only voice of reason, as he questioned Maxwell’s ambitions and financial situation. Maxwell managed to hold his own, however, letting Rod know he’s an extremely hard worker despite not having the modern comforts accessible in the U.S. He found Rod’s line of questioning extremely rude, but not as bad as the follow up “Yahoo Boy” accusations. The family reassured Rod that they are not scammers (while most scammers usually admit to it. This family has definitely never cared about anyone’s extended warranty). Maxwell handled Rod’s skepticism with ease, letting him know he would get to like him after the next few days. I’m just hoping Rod and Mother Aisha both get invited to buy the obligatory family goat offering. Closed toe shoes, people!

Debby & Me-donotwanttowatchhim:
Debby was sobbing in a corner after Mee-doodoo told her he wanted to go back to his country last week. He took a minute before attempting to rectify the situation by pulling out a hunk of junk in a ring box, dropping to one knee, and saying (with a deranged smile) “I got you!”, as a sort of romantic proposal. For some bizarre reason, Debby said “Me-do”, and We do have to watch them for at least another week.
Debby’s tears faded away as she slipped on her obligatory engagement ring, announcing to the cameras that she’s now “engaged”! Debby, your brain has been replaced with dog-doo.  

Mallorie & Rash:
Even though the two had been on shaky ground after their latest “prenush” agreement conversation, Mallorie decided to schlep her best girlfriends wedding dress shopping. She seemed to find 2 dress options that would work for her tight timeline, though she was unsure if the wedding would even happen. She divulged to her gal pals that she had been withholding a pretty big secret from Rash; She’s not sure she wants Rugrashes (That’s babies, with Rash). Her friends encouraged her to have that big conversation ASAP (If not 2 years ago…), as it could make or break her dress purchase.
Later on back at home, she plied Rash with a cup of tea, before sitting him down on the porch to discuss her baby opposition. Rash seemed stunned, as she had seemed open to the prospect of birthing his brood over the past 2 years, and felt she would ultimately come around. Mallorie explained that her parents’ divorce had a profound impact on her decision, and that she may not come around. Seems like something that should have been dealt with 2 years ago while only being able to talk every day long distance…… Why.Do.They.Always.Do.This!!!!

Caity & Josh:
Back in California… Catie and Josh met up with her parents to go wedding cake tasting. They were about to dig into a few samples, when Catie remembered a phone call she had recently received about all of Josh’s worldly possessions, which he had been desperately waiting to have delivered. For some reason the delivery company had been calling Catie, who had neglected to mention the calls over the last week or so, and chose to bring it up casually while they were out of town. Josh remained British-polite, excusing himself from the family table to call the delivery company and be the only adult in the relationship. Catie’s parents sat there, unphased, as they know that their daughter is a bit of a mental case. 
The next day the two had squashed their fight the old fashioned way (In the bedroom) and were ready to have a happy Easter in a much better mood. They put on their Sunday best and went to Catie’s parents house, where Catie chases a bunch of chickens around, desperately trying to get the to post for a photo. After a brief Easter egg hunt, the two went inside for dinner with the parental units and Catie’s grandparents. Mother Catie was a big much in her own rite, insisting that Josh should join their faith, and accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior to avoid eternal damnation (Ya know, dinner conversation). Josh seemed shell-shocked, asserting that he was raised as an agnostic and was unsure whether or not he wanted to buy in. Catie reassured her mother that their children would be raised religiously, so they would avoid hellfire, even if her baby-daddy would meet a different fate. I’m not sure what else Josh needs to see before he makes the decision to cross back over the pond…