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Riley & Violet (aka Riot & Violence): Back at Panera Bread-Vietnam….Riley was back with yet another floral arrangement attempting to suck up to Violet. He just now realized he could have handled things differently, and wanted to see if their dysfunctional relationship was salvageable. Both of these cantankerous characters had unblocked each other so they could arrange to try and discuss all that had happened. Violet arrived, looking like a lost pound puppy (with possible distemper), and immediately asked Riley how he could have accused her of being a liar. She didn’t appreciate the fact that he let his friend Tiffany…
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Aman-duh & Razzledazzle: Amanda and the hair showed up this week wearing some weird camo leggings as she was cuddling Razzle. It seemed like the “razzing” from Razvan’s bikini-clad friend Diana encouraged her to up her game in the romance department. The two giggled playful in bed, revealing that they had consummated their relationship, and may have temporarily dislodged the stick from the place where Amanda did not have a thong bathing suit. Because she didn’t bring it. To the pool party….. RazVandalay planned a romantic trip for two to Dracula’s castle, because…fun fact, Transylvania is in Romania. It’s not…
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Gino & Jasmania: It seemed as though these two were on an upswing for the moment, as they prepared to head towards Boquete, Western Panama for a little vacay. Gino explained that he was abiding by the therapist’s rules to make happy memories together, so he was really putting in the effort. As they sat in the cab in traffic, Jasmine looked annoyed, explaining that her Bonito Gringo ate waaaay too much bean dip on his nachos the night before, which landed him on the toilet all morning (Of course one lousy diarrhea doesn’t mean he was allowed to skip…
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David & Sheila:Well, this week was a sad one…Unfortunately the overnight stay at Sheila’s place last week ended in tragedy. It seems that her elderly mother tripped upstairs in one of the house’s many unstable areas, falling through the floor. The couple found her the next morning and were horrified, trying to process what had just happened. David had no words….. Well, what I mean to say is that he wasn’t sure what exactly to do given the situation. He tried his best to comfort Sheila, as the translator followed along (Not expecting this to come up on her Bingo…
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Statler & Dempsey: After their awkward street corner meeting, Stempsey headed back to their hotel room, complimenting each other all the while. In Between the moments of flattery there were long bouts of extreme awkward silence, mostly due to nerves, but also just personality. Back at the hotel, Statler gave Dempsey the grand tour of the tiny hotel room before the two exchanged gifts. Dempsey went out of her way to find the perfect taxidermied bugs for her quirky US counterpart, which was very well received by the bug enthusiast herself. Statler decided on a bug theme for Dempsey’s gift…
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Statler & Dempsey: Statler was on her way to jolly old England to finally meet Dempsey (She should’ve gotten a 2 for one deal on flights with Christian… he could’ve had an equally awkward drinking partner). Unfortunately Dempsey somehow missed her flight home from her vacation in Thailand, leaving Statler to her own devices (which seems like a bad idea). Once landing, she took cabs and trains towards Manchester to the shmancy hotel room she had booked for the two’s big meeting, which wound up being a party of one. Statler gave a monotone tour of the room, sure to…
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Gino & Jasmaniac: Jasmine and Gino were seemingly getting along after making up last week. Afraid to break their streak of peace, Jasmine decided to go out for a little while to give Jeeeeeno some space. She took a walk to a park where she stopped to call Dane, her neighbor/ secret ex boyfriend from Australia. Being that the two are still close friends, she confided in him about her sex life with Gino (Lucky bloke…). Production pointed out the obvious hypocrisy of Jazzy J meeting up with her ex, as she would NEVER tolerate such a thing from Gee-know,…
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Meisha & Neeeeee-colaaaaa (Said like the “Ricola” commercial): Back in the holy land…(and the extremely unholy mess of a hotel room)..Nicola was pretending to sneak over to Meisha’s side of the room to wake her up. She acted startled, sitting up after a good night’s sleep with a full face of makeup and the perfect morning hair. She removed her ear plugs and sleeping beauty sleep mask to find her (highly debatable) handsome prince/ tour guide waiting for her at a bright and early 7:45 AM. Meisha told production that her first night with Nicola included kissing, cuddling, and some…
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Meisha & Nicola: Meisha headed to the airport with her daughters, Sveaty and Bettie, to catch her flight to Israel so she could finally meet the man of her dreams (who was disguised as a 46 year old virgin… Maybe when she kisses him he’ll turn back into a handsome prince). Back in Israel, Nicola was fluffing up his 4 hairs as he prepared to meet Meisha for the very first time. He explained with crazy eyes that he was sooo maaach excited, as he loaded up his tinymobile and headed to the airport. Nicola was a little rusty in…
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Amanda & Razvan: The newly formed couple woke up after their first night together still seemingly in an awkward spot. Judging by Razvan’s throbbing hickey, it looked like Amanda loosed up just enough to have some physical contact, though they did not yet consummate their relationship. Razvan danced around in his tiny white underoos, while mocking Amanda for wearing socks at all times. It seemed the two had established a playful banter (though Amanda could really work on her delivery… she was trying so hard to be sarcastic and funny but came across as cold and bossy). Razvan did seem…
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Gino & Jasmine: Back in his homeland (Canton, Michigan), Gino was “Funiculi Funicula”-ing with his Uncle Marco and cousins, making an authentic Italian cuisine. As they sat around the dinner table, the family took turns roasting Gino on his ridiculous vacation-wear before segueing to discuss his relationship with Jasmine. Uncle Marco was curious to know if Gino still planned on having Jasmine sign a prenup(nush) agreement (one of their themes from last season). Gino was of course too scared to ask the Panamaniac to sign anything, especially since she was very much against the idea the first time he brought…
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I have to say that of all the iterations of “90 Days”, “Before” is my absolute favorite. It’s generally the most ridiculous and entertaining, and I’m hoping Season 6 doesn’t disappoint.That being said…. Settle in, gentle readers…. Here goes episode 1. Amanda & Razvan: Amanda is a 31 year old single mother from Louisiana, currently visiting her sister in Marietta, Ohio (not sure why that was relevant). Amanda explained that she had recently lost her husband of 8 years to lung cancer, and is trying her best to navigate her new life as a single mother of two. She carries…
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