90 Day Fiance; Season 12, Episode 5

Catie & Josh:

Back on the filthy twin size mattress…
Catie and Josh awoke from a long night of sleeping like origami to have their first breakfast in their new home. Unfortunately for their already aching backs, they had to enjoy their dining experience on a yoga mat, where Josh choked down a few sad eggs (In an effort to save money, Catie insisted he buy the cheapest eggs possible, popped out by the most disgruntled chickens). Josh was still attempting to go with the flow, but asked that they pick up a few basic every day necessities, such as an iron/ironing board, a couch, and a table and chairs. Catie glared at Josh, feeling like he was being a needy brat, who should just “stretch more” to deal with his newly acquired back issues while he chokes down sad eggs in his rumpled clothing. Catie then announced that she was unsure if she could trust Josh with finances, since he spent a lot of money on a business venture. The whole “trust” issue coming up is pretty ironic, being that Catie seems to be locking lips with everyone she encounters (The mononucleosis patient zero). 
The two later went to a second hand store to shop for some fine home furnishings. Josh could sense that Caity was less than thrilled with the idea of spending any money, even though he had budgeted for such occasions. The disagreement spiraled into a bigger argument about trust and Catie’s commitment level to their relationship. 
Josh…..just go home. This girl is a few fries short of a happy meal (Or a few tea bags short of a tea party? I don’t know the proper UK translation). 

Mallorie & Rash:
Back on the other man’s tailgate…
Rash was having his “heart to heart” chat with Mallorie’s friend “Brandy”, all while wearing a pre-mulleted doo-rag. He told Brandy that he’s forbidden from calling Mallorie any more, since she was becoming his wife and ex-friends with benefits were not a thing in Turkey. Brandy ( who came with his own attached hair) refused, wondering how this whole “I’m the boss of my Turkey-house” thing was going to go over with Mallorie. 

Debby & Mido:
Since they were on speaking terms this week, Debby asked Me-doodoo to help with a few household chores. He said “me-don’t”, as he felt washing dishes or taking out trash may detract from his thespian endeavours (If I were Debby, I would have told him to “method act” Cinderella, or leave). 
He then headed out to his very first acting class in L.A.! (Louisiana, which is not near Hollywood). He interacted with his classmates, and was fairly terrible, as he failed to impress his new acting teacher. Regardless of what anyone told him, Mido was steadfast at his attempt to become a household name.
Next, it was time to play “dress up” for Halloween, as the two slipped into their matching “Pharoah” and “Cleopatra” costumes. Debby seemed nervous to be introducing Midoughnut to her two best friends, as he’s been acting like a moody jerk since his arrival. 
They all met up outside of a haunted house, which Debby admittedly was afraid of. Mido worked overtime to prove that he was unafraid, interacting with the cast like an obnoxious teenager. When the haunted debacle concluded, Debby drove Mido and one of her friends to keep that night going at a local bar. As the two women tried to get a conversation started, Mido made the ride tense, playing religious music on his phone, cracking his knuckles, and rolling his eyes then refusing to get out of the car.
Once they arrived at the bar, Debby’s friend could not believe how rude and disconnected Meedoo was, as Debby ran back to the car in an attempt to get to the root of his issues. (Before Debby could get back into the car, however, Medo was caught “excavating his nose pyramid for gold” on the dash cam, and flicking it in Debby’s car).
She returned unwittingly, trying to talk to hin but was met by a brick wall. The fighting escalated, ending with production having to help Midol get an Uber to somewhere that hopefully has tissues.

A GoFundMe has been started for Debby to have her car detailed, as she needs to be rid of Mido and his nose goblins.

Shea & Anabelle:
Things were pretty quiet around Shea’s house, as he was being given the silent treatment by Anabelle after she learned of his infidelities. Shea admitted that there’d been a few times when he was drinking, that he may or may not have poked at someone’s brand new fake boobs (as one does), kissed someone playfully on the lips, and gotten a little too chummy while drunkenly mingling with the ladyfolk.
He drove Anabelle in silence to the nail salon to meet up with his friend Angie and daughter Alison for a little “girl time”. Although she was annoyed with him, Anabelle was also mad that Shea left her with the ladies that she couldn’t stand. Anabelle was the first to bring up the Shea cheating rumors, asking Angie directly if she had been having an affair with the desirable Shea. 
Angie of course denied it, smirking as she and Alison sipped on their drinks. 
Anabelle looks like she’ll be on an episode of “Snapped” any day now. At least she can really clean up a crime scene…

Marissa & Edward:

Everyone seemed to be getting along fairly well at Marissa’s all-grey abode. Edward was doing his best to bond with the kids by offering them money, which didn’t go over as planned. Marissa’s older son, Derrick, didn’t want to take Edward’s bribery, feeling guilty since he knew Edward didn’t have a lot, and it was probably his mother’s money to begin with. The kids slighted Edward yet again when they all took a family ride in the car, making him sit in the backseat.
Once alone, Marissa divulged that she felt a bit like she had a third child, since Edward seemed to be spending a lot of time on his phone, and playing silly pranks. She felt it was necessary to speak up when he wasn’t doing everything to her specifications, as to avoid big blow ups. She made it clear, in a friendly way, that if Edward didn’t shape up, she’d be shipping him out.

Thomas & Paula: 

The newly reunited couple seemed to have a good first night. They woke up to make breakfast together, which was unfortunately a conflict of interest. Paula, who is a Vegan, had a hard time handling Thomas’s Paleo diet, which he must follow due to his Crohn’s disease. She attempted to cook his breakfast meat while wearing a respirator mask, as not to breathe the animal cruelty in. They dined at his low table, which annoyed Paula, though she was just happy to finally be together in California, despite the lack of seating (She and Josh should get together and see if there are any “BOGO” furniture deals).
Next they both got ready for the day, with Paula putting on her favorite perfume. The smell seemed to bother Thomas’s nose to no end, which Paula felt was due to his large-sized schnoz. He became more and more mad about her lack of concern for his scent-sitivity, and eventually super glued her perfume bottle shut. 
I’m thinking they might not be compatible…. It was the respirator for me.