90 Day Fiance; Season 12 Episode 7

Marissa & Edward:
Marissa gave Edward a briefing on how to act for his big meeting with her parents. He admitted they had already met while on “vacation mode” in the D.R., but this was more of a true make or break situation. Aside from Mother and Stepfather Marissa, her cousins and aunts were also in attendance. Everyone seemed pleasant and welcoming towards Edward, of course except Mother Marissa, who was just as confused as I am as to why this union is happening. 
She expressed her concerns about Edward’s intentions and his ability to fit into Marissa’s lifestyle. Marissa felt like Edward was not playing his part, and he will most likely be grounded for next week.  

Debby & Me-DoNotThinkHe’llStayHere:
After the blow out fight in the car last week, Debby’s friends felt shell-shocked, worried about what will happen to dear old Deb. Mee-DooDoo hailed an Uber Chariot (Because he was wearing a Pharoah costume) back to Debby’s pyramid, where he set up camp on the couch in his Buc-ee’s t-shirt. Debby lay alone in her bed, claiming to be Mother Debbie DONE being treated like the Pharoah’s shlubby assistant The next morning she went to meet up with her friends who had witnessed MeDogDoo in action. The gals felt that Mido was possibly using Debby to get TV famous, and suggested she ship his sarcophagus back to Egypt- Stat!

Shea & Anabelle:
Back at the house that looks like it smells like wet German Shepherds…
Anabelle finally decided to speak again, as she told Shea of all of the fun she had while out for “Girls Day”. Since he was still in the doghouse, Shea had to forgo an evening out drinking beer, in exchange for staying in and drinking herbal tea while doing yoga. Anabelle decided she was going to help Shea lose weight in order to improve their love life, which absolutely nobody wants to picture. Looks like we still have to wait another week for Shea’s ex-wife Nicole to make an appearance, and cause more drama. 

Catie & Josh:
Back at the disheveled apartment… Josh was trying to be understanding of Catie’s peculiar lack of interest in shopping for home furnishing. She bluntly came out and mentioned she didn’t really like the idea of cohabitating at all (Which seems like it might be a problem with the whole “getting married” thing). She seemed to lack any empathy for Josh being completely new to the country and at her mercy, and upped the ante by announcing she was throwing herself a birthday party. The theme of the party was “People I made out with” (and it was super easy for her to gather an extensive guest list). 
She and Josh rode off towards the party, where he was nervously dreading interacting with Catie’s former flings. She proposed they had a kissing contest, seeing how many people they could each “make out” with, which he quickly declined. 
As the beer began to flow, Catie loosened up, flitting about the room between her many male suitors. Her friend/ex hookup buddy, Ryan was there, causing Josh to become tense. Josh had previously written Ryan a strongly worded email in regards to his romantic encounters with Caitie, but he still showed up to the party. It seemed like Ryan was trying to encourage the spasmodic Catie to admit she didn’t want to get married, though she just kind of stood around blinking and thinking about making out. Wanna makeout??

Thomas & Paula:
After using super glue to seal up Paula’s perfume last week, Thomas was still unfortunately congested. Turns out, he’s allergic to Paula. She feels like Thomas may be trying to control her, since he doesn’t seem to get a runny nose around other perfumed humans. The two had a chat about it, which caused him to cry (Or maybe it was just his allergies again).
Back at the apartment, Thomas was attempting to make some room for Paula’s many possessions, including her $250 rock. She felt it was an important purchase for manifestation purposes, while Thomas just thought it was dumb. Maybe she’s trying to make him pass out with the perfume so she can hit him over the head with a rock and steal his apartment. It would make more sense than their entire relationship.  

Mallorie & Rash:
The couple were surrounded by their dog pack, as they awoke the day after the big welcome party with a Hillbilly Hangover. Rash brought up the conversation (On the back of the other man’s tailgate) with “Brandy”, and revealed that he didn’t want Mallorie speaking to him anymore. Mallorie was quick to let Rash know she was going to be friends with whoever she wants, because she’s no turkey…. Or a Turkish woman. 

Ashia & Maxwell:
Back in Nigeria…
Ashia and Mommy dearest (ever so enthusiastically) traveled via taxi towards the families joint AriBNB. They were welcomed by The Parents Maxwell, warmly…and by that I mean with a spicy, crunchy treat of sorts that’s equal parts “welcoming” and “medicinal”. 
Maxwell showed his guests to their private bedrooms, making it clear that there would be no cohabitation, since the two were not yet married. 
His sister Blaise made an appearance, ready to get to the bottom of Ashia’s intentions with her brother. Over family dinner, Blaise asked how many children Ashia wanted to have, and was shocked to hear the answer was only 2. Mother and Father Maxwell wanted at least 4 baby Maxwells running around the U.S., but Ashia just shook her head. The family Maxwell was also very concerned about her plans for Maxwell’s appearance, including his eye-bleaching, or whatever it was that was supposed to make the whites of his eyes brighter. Just because Aisha wants to change his skin, hairline, eyeballs, and future plans, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love and respect him….. Also she talks to God, so he must’ve wanted it too.