Love in Paradise; Season 4 Episode 7

Luke & Madeleine

Madeleine gave herself a makeup mustache as she prepared for a night of salsa dancing with Luke. The two were hoping to dance away their troubles and actually enjoy a night together instead of more fighting. Unfortunately for Madeleine (Who happened to be a child salsa prodigy), Luke was very uncoordinated and dressed like Deuce Bigalow; European Gigolo.

The next day, the two were taking a mini vacation to a place two hours away where they happened to have gotten engaged. Madeleine overstuffed her lavender suitcase with all kinds of furry and sparkly things as they headed off towards their destination. The beautiful scenery helped ease their troubles, as they swam, acted goofy, and trashed their hotel “igloo” in no time flat. Though things were definitely on an upswing, Luke couldn’t help but think about a rumor he had heard from his one random entrepreneur friend, Brian, who was coming to spend the day with them at the resort.

At breakfast the next morning, Luke discussed their impending visitors and the story he had heard about Madeleine sleeping topless in bed with another guy. He seemed to question Madeleine’s motives, insinuating that she was only with him because he was her best “opportunity”, and not because he was her giant stuffed unicorn/inbred dog dealer. Madeleine was hurt and insulted by the accusations, as she fought with him while continuing to put the wrong emPHasis on the wrong sylLAble. Can’t wait to hear more about the “rumors” next week. 

 

 

Shawn & Dougilliya:

After last week’s big engagement, the couple along with their friend Jackie were off to take part in a jungle tour. As they rode towards their destination, Jackie felt comfortable enough to start asking Shawn some hard questions in regards to finances and making sure Alliyah would be taken care of once she moved to the US. While Shawn felt he was being rather generous by offering to give Alliyah her own “glam room” to display her mounting mounds of synthetic hair, Jackie was more concerned with making sure she would be a beneficiary of his life insurance and on the deed to his Burger Kingdom. Shawn was shocked that he was being pressed by Jackie after 24 hours of engagement, and tried to squirm out of the hot seat.

Once they reached a beautiful jungle waterfall, Alliyah went topless for a sexy photoshoot, directed by both Shawn and Jackie. She dressed herself in time for the three to have yet another chat, with Alliyah admitting that she had her own reservations about moving in with Shawn, especially since she’d be so financially dependent on him. (Too bad she can’t use hair as currency….She’d be so rich by now)

 

Kyle & Ani:

Ani brought her friend Steph along to get a chance to meet Kyle, which truly is an experience. Within mere seconds of his arrival, he managed to mention that he “gets women pregnant”, making things immediately awkward and cringey. Both ladies tried to get Kyle to realize that his donations (namely the “in-person” variety) might put a damper on the couple’s blossoming romance. Kyle seemed to finally see their point, and said he would try to cool it with the “Kyle Appleseed” shtick. 

Later that night, Ani decided to take a trip back to Kyle’s rental apartment (which was undoubtedly filled with crusty socks and tissues). The two settled in on the couch, awkwardly attempting to show affection, as Kyle acted completely feral. He kissed her, with no points deducted, as she made it clear she had no intention of receiving any deposits that evening.

For some reason, Ani seemed to feel the two had a real “Soul level” connection (And if that is the case, her Soul might want to have a healthy helping of Soul Food and get fixed with a Soul Patch before it takes the next Soul Train out of there!)