Before the 90; S6, EP 12:

Riley & Violet (aka Riot & Violence):

Back at Panera Bread-Vietnam….
Riley was back with yet another floral arrangement attempting to suck up to Violet. He just now realized he could have handled things differently, and wanted to see if their dysfunctional relationship was salvageable. 
Both of these cantankerous characters had unblocked each other so they could arrange to try and discuss all that had happened. Violet arrived, looking like a lost pound puppy (with possible distemper), and immediately asked Riley how he could have accused her of being a liar. She didn’t appreciate the fact that he let his friend Tiffany interrogate her, and left her to fend for herself. Riley tried to apologize while also maintaining that Violet sounded a bit sketchy, not willing to answer any questions. He considers himself to be an open book, and doesn’t understand her need to withhold information. Violet came up with the excuse that she doesn’t know English well enough and would rather communicate via Jihoon’s translator app next time they have a major issue. They decided to give their doomed relationship one last hurrah and left the meeting smiling for a change.

Later on, the newly reconciled couple were getting ready to take a field trip to a local Buddhist temple. Riley was ironing his custom traditional outfit made for someone “big and ugly”, so the two could be dressed to the nines for the occasion. He felt he looked “Man-tastic” in his new garb (though I was feeling like it was giving me more “Madea Does Vietnam”vibes ).  Violet arrived at the hotel to meet him and was LOVING his look, complimenting him for the first time ever.
They headed into the revered temple, finding a spot where they plopped down to pray. Violet asked Riley what he was praying for, and was relieved to hear he was praying not to hurt anyone with the stupidity that comes out of his mouth. She in turn said she was praying for the couple to have a successful relationship (as Buddah rolled his barely visible eyes). It seemed as though they were finally feeling optimistic for the first time since meeting in person.

Next on the agenda, the two said “Let’s go fly a kite” and went to the kite-flying district for a little fun. Violet figured she’d have an advantage, given Riley was taller than everyone else in the country, making him slightly more attractive. The two seemed to be happy and laughing for a change, so Violet thought it would be the perfect time to ask some tough questions. She asked Riley how much money he had, as she was concerned about his ability to support her and eventually her daughters if they all moved to the U.S.  He seemed shocked at the rather forward question, but admitted to having about 100k in his savings. Riley reassured her that though he doesn’t have a ton of money, he manages to live modestly and “Makes broke look good” (I hope he’s not basing this on his outfits…) She resumed her “bad cheese face” that she had finally broken away from, as she watched Riley theatrically ask her whether or not she regretted calling his father to tattle-tell. Violet could not understand why he was constantly bringing up the past, and it seemed that these two were right back on the deranged hamster wheel they had temporarily hopped off of. 

Jasmania & Gee-Know:

This episode opened with the couple lovingly taking turns trimming each other’s nose hairs (which is actually romantic, you should really try it). Jasmine mauled Gino with her lipstick, as it was all over his face, because nose hair trimming is an underrated aphrodisiac. They explained that their love life had improved since they took the GOLDEN opportunity, and it looked like things were okay for the time being.
They set off to go on a walk, with Jasmine looking like she was a 14 year old going to a Taylor Swift concert. As they strolled along, Gino brought up the idea of having a baby together (since he was now able to complete his bedroom missions). Jasmine (who was obviously regressing to being a pre-teen by her outfit choice), tried to tell Gee-Know she wasn’t ready to be a teen mom. She worried about their relationship being too chaotic for a child, especially since she would be so far away from her family and support system. Gino tried to convince her that his family would help raise baby Jasmo, even if they don’t like Jasmine. This was the first time Gino was hearing her doubts about family planning, and he felt confused, being that she had always been open to the idea of having a baby together. Jasmine admitted that she only agreed to have a baby when Gino was unable to make one. Now that he’s had his GOLDEN opportunity, he seems to only be interested in having a GOLDEN child. She was surprised to hear that Gino would feel happiest having a child instead of just having a wife, which put a damper on the mood.

Previews for next week show the two spiraling out of control, yet again. (I guess I’m going to have to return all of those tiny baseball caps I bought for Gino Jr.…)

David & Sheila:

Back in The Philippines…
The whole David/Sheila/Translator Aimee trio were in a cab, headed off for a beach day with Sheila’s son Jhonreil. Aimee was the first to ask her sisterwife-Sheila about a peculiar grunting noise David was making, which of course he was completely unaware of. Sheila had originally thought the sound was just a technical glitch while they were long distance, but had since learned that it was David, making weird noises so he could feel the vibrations. Given that and the fact that he isn’t able to speak, Sheila worried that her son felt David was weird, and hoped they would be able to bond in some way. She had Aimee translate her concerns, asking David to attempt to befriend Jhonreil (Who’s name is seriously awesome). David struggled to ask him a few lame questions (with the help of Aimee, of course), before realizing he would probably do better playing a few kids hand-slapping games you learn at camp to break the ice. It seemed to have worked, as Jhonreil happily thumb wrestled David over Sheila’s lap, laughing and smiling, and feeling less awkward. Sheila remarked at how big David’s hands were (Which just made me think of donuts… and bananas…. And made me say “Neeeee”).

Once they arrived at the beach, David and his new potential step son took to splashing each other in the murky unappealing water. Sheila (who kind of looked like a mannequin wearing a swimsuit for some reason) was so happy to see the two bonding, and finally felt like things were starting to fall into place. They took a “family” photo together (which really should have included Aimee, as she is afterall a sister wife). 

After the beach excursion, they all sat down at a very clean restaurant (for a change) where they discussed the future. Sheila had Aimee ask Jhonreil how he felt about the idea of moving to America, and was upset that he said he didn’t want to. David stepped in, reassuring him that though the move would be scary, he’d be able to go play sports and meet new friends (and also listen to David’s weird grunting. I guess that was the trade off). Jhonreil seemed to perk up, and Sheila looked forward to their future together. (Will Aimee be coming to the US too? If not, we’re going to need at least 3 more Jihoon translator apps, stat). 

Meisha Meisha Meisha & Kneeeee-Collaaaaaa:

After making up from their fight last week, the two started the day by going on a little fishing trip. Kneecola picked up his hot pink bucket of bait while Meisha tagged behind, wearing a dress to go fishing (She probably should have changed in the backseat…). Much like Jesus himself, Nicola was also a fisherman and he was excited to show off his skills. Refusing to take pointers from the old pro, Meisha attempted to fish on her own and wound up falling and cutting her leg. Though she was willing to walk it off, Nicola insisted she sit and get a bandaid. But what hurt worse than getting salt water in her open wound was hearing that Mother Nicola (who she was just about to meet) was most likely not going to like her. Nicola explained that his dear old mom would rather he was with a local 40 year old virgin instead, and this is why he has hid the relationship for so long. 

It was finally the day MeishaMeishaMeisha had been waiting for- “Take your Meisha to work day” (and by work, I mean home to the couch, because he doesn’t really work). Nicola tried to help Meisha pick out the perfect outfit for the occasion (in the disaster of a hotel room). Unfortunately he wasn’t into playing dress up, as his nerves were at an all time high. Apparently Knee-PepsiCola had been hiding Meisha from his family, and now he was about to bring her home, telling them that she was divorced and from America, and let them know he planned on getting engaged. 

It was finally time, and they entered Nicola’s family apartment, which was so small they bumped right into his mother. Meisha overwhelmed her with a giant bouquet of flowers (AHEM, Coltee!), and her favorite chocolates from the USA (I didn’t see any Reese’s…. I don’t trust someone who doesn’t bring Reeses. Send her back.) Meisha sat awkwardly with Mother KneeCola, before she ran away into the kitchen to cook. The Brothers Nicola arrived, all seeming happy to meet Meisha, probably in disbelief and wondering if she charges by the hour. They all sat down to enjoy the smorgasbord Mother Kneecola had whipped up, as the brothers tried to get to know her. Meisha was kind of hoping Kneecola would take the lead with the introductions, but he left her out to dry. He argued with Meisha back and forth in front of his brothers, making Meisha explain her past and what her life is like in America.
Looks like next week we will get to see their reactions, and if Meisha is allowed to take their bum brother off the couch and back to the states. Until then, Meisha. 

Statler & Dempsey:

Although the Valentine’s Day gesture from last week was thoughtful and romantic, things with the couple seemed to have ended on a sour note. Dempsey was skeptical of her American counterpart since hearing that she had been in contact with her ex girlfriend, even planning to stay the night together in a hotel. She gave Statler a bit of the cold shoulder as she headed out to work to hopefully process everything on her own.
Statler didn’t really understand why Dempsey was so upset, other than thinking things were moving a bit too fast since she invited herself to cohabitate. She called her friend on video chat to discuss her current dilemma. Statler’s friend explained that Dempsey was probably not too thrilled hearing that she was still in communication with her ex and was not exactly forthcoming about it. She also encouraged Statler to pump the brakes, as she was probably freaking Dempsey out with her pushiness and intensity. 
Dempsey finally returned a while later and the two sat down to discuss her concerns. Demps was hoping Statler would go home to HER home, and reflect on the visit with a clearer perspective, before deciding what the next step would be. Statler of course could not comprehend why Dempsey wouldn’t want to just rush into an overly codependent relationship right away, especially with someone who was destined to clog her tiny toilet. Statler explained the root cause of her intense need for love stemmed from being adopted, and never feeling like she totally fit in anywhere. She cried as she spoke, eventually receiving a sympathetic hug from Dempsey, who agreed to stay together, though in different countries. Monotone love knows no boundaries. 

Cleo & Christian:

It was the morning after the big fight, and Cleo and Christian seemed to have called a truce. She suggestively rolled out of bed to start putting on her face for the day (even though it looked like she was already wearing a full face of makeup). Christian looked miserable as he sat in bed, asking what she had planned. He didn’t seem to perk up hearing that they would be going to get a couples’ astrology reading from one of Cleo’s friends. Cleo, however, was excited to see if their relationship was written in the stars. She explained that she relly bolevd in aurtrolgy since shes otistic and hus the sunflur lunyrd.

They headed to a pretty little floral-themed cafe to meet up with Cleo’s Madame Leota friend, Evelina, who revealed their natal charts. It seemed the two had a strong connection, despite a push/pull effect that Cleo worried meant they would be toxic together. She burst out in tears out of nowhere, felling rully upset that they dun wun to be tugothr unymur (or so the austrilogik churt says). Christian looked bored, like he dun wun to be thur anymore, but knows he’s in it too deep now to just take off. 

Looks like next week they BOTH got to dress up at a costume shop, which shud be a lut uf fun.