The Single Life; Season 4 Tell All Part 4

It was the 4th inning, and John had everyone on the edge of their seats as he knelt down for the big proposal. After a brief speech ending with “Ya know, I love yah and whatevuh”, he asked an excited Meghan to be his wife. Patrick looked shocked, feeling surprised by John’s bold move. Natalie and all of the other ladies cried, moved by the on-screen proposal they will most likely never receive. The cast congratulated John backstage, with Miss Debbie praising his ability to take the next step in his relationship in the most Miss Debbie way possible. 

Back on stage, Shaun moved over to Debbie, briefly running through her past history with Osama up to her current dating life. For some odd reason, they brought out 90 Day Alumni Fernanda and Mother Debbie, yet again, to weigh in on Miss Debbie’s new dating life.
After watching MISS Debbie’s clip of her first date with Todd at the romantic night spot (Monster Golf), and discussing her little age discrepancy, MOTHER Debbie gave her a tongue lashing. The two Debbies went back and forth debating whether or not shaving off 10 years on a dating profile was a punishable offense. Ultimately the judge and jury (aka the rest of the cast) let it slide, as Julian came on stage to join the fun. He threw his poor Mama under the bus, claiming he had suggested some more serious men for her to date, but Debbie was more interested in the artsy types (like men that drive adult tricycles and love to look like human lava lamps). 

SPEAKING OF RUBEN THE CUBAN…. he was brought out in all of his technicolor glory to save the day and stop the Debbie in-fighting. Ruben was interrogated by Julian and the cast about his livelihood and living situation, and unsurprisingly managed to keep his cool. He really wowed the group by exposing his matching “Miss Debbie” print socks and underwear he had made especially for the occasion (Jualian wasn’t thrilled….he felt it was grounds for an order of protection). Debbie didn’t see anything wrong with the conversation print, but was rather more concerned by Ruben’s dating profile. She saw that he had been on the site where she had met him, looking for women in a younger age range. Ruben maintained that he hadn’t been fishing in the dating pool for a new mojito pal, but rather had a dormant profile. After they squashed that concern, The two were asked if they’d like to be exclusive, which resulted in an official “boyfriend/girlfriend” status change. True love really does exist.

The attention then shifted back to Tim, as Luisa and Jamal were brought back on the stage. Tim explained the failed relationship with Luisa, stating that the two had very little in common. Luisa begged to differ, as she felt they had a lot in common; They both were attracted to men. Tim did his signature eye roll, as the comment for some reason seemed to shock the entire cast like the thought had never personally crossed their minds. Miss Debbie mentioned the possibility of “low testosterone” as a cause of Tim’s lack of sex drive (and love of flashy coats and eyeliner). Brother John concurred, revealing that he himself had a similar issue, but has since been medicated and is now so manly that he carries around a bag of tricks for “hammah-time”. 
Luisa seemed almost angry at Tim, claiming that he didn’t care about or respect her, as Tim just raised his eyebrows and pondered the color of his next manicure, as the cast took yet another break.

Backstage, Tim ran into Luisa and Jamal, who seemed to have formed an alliance. Luisa confronted Tim, saying she felt used in some capacity that was not physical, while Jamal sidled up next to Veronica, looking rather chummy. The two exchanged flirtatious comments, as they touched each other’s faces and alluded to making plans for later that evening. Plans….that didn’t include low testosterone. 
The rest of the cast felt that Veronica and Jamal should steer clear of each other, especially since Chantel revealed that she had seen Jamal and Luisa together at the hotel restaurant the night before. As luck would have it, production caught Jamal and Luisa backstage in his dressing room, microphones still hot and ready, as they discussed their night together. While Luisa claimed she barely remembered the specifics of the evening, Jamal seemed to clarify that they were together more times than the number of sassy fur coats Tim owns… which is saying a lot.
ANNNND….I can’t believe this was not the final Tell All!! Part Five is next week, with the battle of the Debbies continuing until there’s either nothing left but a pile of feathers and sequins, or a puff cloud of cigarette smoke and bingo chips. Choose your fighter.