The OTHER Way; Season 5, Episode 20

Scary Mary & Brandan:

It was finally the big wedding day, and Brandan was feeling nervous due to all of the premarital fighting. With Mary out of the house on her way to get wedding-ready, Brandan had some alone time with his mom (and many large spiders) to talk things out. He admitted he was nervous about getting married, especially since there was some tension in the air. Mother Brandan tried to encourage her sloppy son by telling him to man up and put down the video games, since he’s about to become a husband and father. They also shared a touching moment when Mother Brandan complimented her son for all of the major things he had done for Mary and the relationship, despite his young age, noting that the men in her romantic life have never even come close (I’m sure she meant it as a compliment, but she must’ve set that bar real high).
Brandan and his mother made their way to the wedding venue, which had a truly beautiful view of the area. Mary looked like royalty in her sparkly wedding dress, and was finally smiling for a change, as she finished her hair and makeup for the ceremony. Brandan looked handsome in his pinkish suit and crooked bowtie, and felt comfortable enough not to have shaved or combed his hair. His mother also went al-naturale with the hair, sporting a messy bun on top of her head, which works for both “cleaning the bathroom” and “Mother of the groom”. The mayor of their town officiated the wedding, wearing a pair of jeans, and was pretty much as confused as to why he was there as everyone else. The two officially said their “I do’s as their guests looked on. Mary and Brandan were swarmed with emotions, though that was not the only swarm they had to deal with…….
As soon as the party got started, Brandan noticed a dark, shadowy cloud rolling in towards the reception.Thousands of beetles swarmed in, covering the guests, tables, food, and camera crew with their creepy little bodies like something out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie….or Passover. Everyone began to scramble, swatting at the flying pestilence, as Mother Brandan’s bug fears became her reality. People were screaming, as they tried desperately to fan the bugs away from their faces, but they were no match for the bug-shower raining from above. All in all it was a pretty good wedding. Obviously the soundtrack to their wedding video needs to be by The Beatles.

 

Hairy Holly & Wayne the Drain:

Feeling stressed out, Wayne decided to have a chat with the only person who gives him sound advice….. Wayne. Well, Wayne SR., Master plumber, that is. He pulled up to his dad’s house and plopped on the couch, spilling the beans that Holly wanted to move back to America. Father Wayne understood where Holly was coming from, as he wasn’t a fan of load-shedding either, but acknowledged that she did in fact marry his silver-haired Mario and/or Luigi so she should probably try to stick around and figure it out.
Later on, Wayne took half-dressed Holly out on the town so they could have a nice night before he tried to talk to her about moving. Wayne tried explaining the difficulties in leaving his lucrative plumbing business behind, and hoped Holly would reconsider. He made a comment about “wishing he had never had gotten involved with an American” because it was a difficult road, which caused Holly to pop up and pull her signature runaway move. She staggered off like a Tim Burton character that had too much to drink, as she took off in any direction that was away from Wayne. It’s hard to say what will become of these two, and just when I thought about it, load shedding happened and the power went out.

 

Karmando:

Just in case you forgot they were on the show like I did, here they are!
The boys were back this week and they headed over to the good ole fertility clinic to make their mark! Both Kenny and Armando went into their own separate rooms to do their part in making their love child(ren). Each tiny room was equipped with a tv; Kenny’s played old Village People music videos and Armando’s played scenes from the gay club they went to in Mexico City so they could each really get in the mood. The guys decided to intermingle their specimens together to randomly select which one Maury would determine “IS the father!” (Wasn’t all of this supposed to be so Armando could raise KENNY’S baby?? Maybe he changed his mind last minute to switch to his sperm so the baby would have a prayer at learning Espanol).
After a saucy text exchange, both Kenny and Armando were able to complete their assignments, and were so excited to hear their creation could possibly come to fruition in the next 3 months. ¡Viva el bebe Karmando! (Come on, Kenny…. That one was easy).

 

Shekinah & SarperImage:

Back at the Turkish bath house….
Shekinah was still mad about Sar-pei’s sudden interest in making a baby and unwillingness to take no for an answer. She encouraged him to keep his distance, which immediately made him change gears from wanting her to be his baby mama, to letting her know she could be replaced within 2 days. Shekinah began to realize that her family and friends may have been right afterall, and unfortunately the human Instagram filter wasn’t quite the Prince Sharming she had thought he was. Shekinah decided to “unsubscribe” from their conversation, because people who look like Instagram filters only speak in fluent internet. Sarper hurled nasty comments to his former twin flame, trying to bully her into being the perfect specimen that could produce his perfect specimen. Through it all, his hair never moved.

 

Daniele & Yo-ho-ho-han:

The Santa and Elf impersonators were still sitting sadly under their tree, looking upset after the big guy announced he’d be leaving the relationship (And presumably the North Pole). They still agreed to go through with their idea of giving out gifts to the kids of Yohan’s old neighborhood, and managed to put aside their marital issues for the sake of Christmas cheer. After their good deeds commenced, they went back out to the apartment so Yohan could change out of the Santa costume (which luckily came in “Big and Tall” sizes). As he tried packing his stuff, Daniele interrupted, asking him to leave all of the clothes she had personally bought him, since he felt she never did anything for him.
Of course this started a petty fight between the two, with Yohan trying to equal things out by taking the dog he had claimed he bought her. Daniele the elf (Who is not nearly as much fun as her cousin Buddy the Elf) screamed and chased him, begging for him to leave HER dog, who was honestly pretty much getting a bad deal no matter who got custody. The dead-eyed former Santa finally returned poor Gizmo to Daniele’s custody before leaving the apartment once and for all. Daniele took no responsibility for the break up, claiming that this Yo-ho-hohan was not the great sankypanky she once knew and loved. In my humble opinion, they’re both on the naughty list, and Gizmo deserves better.