The Other Way; S4, EP 8

Nicole & Soo MachhhhMood:
It seems that after the big business meeting with Uncle WeirdBeard last week, Macccchmood realized he should be doing more to teach Nicole how to be a proper Muslim woman. He and MamaMood helped her play “Project Runway: The Islam Addition” as they fashioned her hijab, who’s pattern was a bit  “Little House on the Egyptian Prairie”-ish. Machmood helped her roll out her rug, wash herself off, and learn to say the basic beginning of the prayers said 5xs a day as if it was the first time she’d ever heard them (Guess there are no prerequisites for converting). Nicole was really wowed by Machmood’s prayer/singing voice, so much so that she wasn’t even complaining about covering her hair for 5 minutes. Since things were going so well at the moment, they decided it would be fun to go for a swim at a local hotel. Of course someone had to ruin the (Mach)-mood, by reminding Nicole she would be required to wear her burkini. Nicole innocently enough asked if she was supposed to wear anything under the swimsuit, which sent Machmood into a temper tantrum. He ran all 4 feet away into the little filthy kitchen, smoking a cigarette as he stewed.Nicole seemed clueless as to what she did wrong now, but agreed to still get into the tiny taxi to go to the hotel pool.
Once there, she suited up, showcasing every inch of her burkini to the cameras including the hood, which she refused to wear. The He-Man hair must be visible at all costs.
She met up in the pool with Machmood, who seemed to be a bit of a burkini enthusiast (He may or may not have a subscription to “Burkini Illustrated”…pretty sure I saw a pile of magazines poking out from under the bed). He casually removed his shirt and dove in, while Nicole looked on, doing her best impression of a Sea World employee. 
Machmood claimed he was trying to compromise and change himself to be the man Nicole would like him to be, as they playfully splashed around in the water. 
Unfortunately their moments of peace were few, as directly after swimming, they got into a public fight which included Nicole yelling and pushing Machmood away. He was furious about the public display of disrespect, as he continued to try and coerce her to return to his cramped quarters. Nicole stood her ground, finally deciding she had enough of being bossed around by the Egyptian Gumby. 

Kris & Jeymi:

Kris seemed to be a bit better this week, as Jeymi brought her a cheesy donut snack to cheer her up. Jeymi was thrilled to hear that Kris would not need to go back to the States for her random stolen motorcycle court date (at least as of now…), and she would be in town long enough for them to take a much anticipated “glamping” trip. Since the trip would require a lengthy travel time, Kris would have to wear a neck brace, so as not to exacerbate last week’s issue…(though she’ll probably conjure up a few more before bedtime).
Once they reached their “glamping” site (which was really a plastic bubble tent somewhere out in the countryside), Kris raced to be the first one in the room to make things romantic (Raced…as in, walked hastily without pain). She arranged rose petals on the bed to read “Marry Me but my neck hurts, Let’s buy a gun” (it took a lot of rose petals). Jeymi entered the room, very surprised by the romantic touches, and took a few minutes to process the official in-person  proposal. She happily “said yes”, agreeing to be Kris’s caretaker for life. 
To celebrate the special occasion they were brought a fancy dinner of chorizo and blood sausage, which was nothing like Kris’s usual palette of corndogs and meth (Also… should anyone sleeping in a plastic bubble be consuming this much meat in one sitting?! Is there even a bathroom??) Over dinner they discussed their wedding plans and who would be in attendance. Kris’s daughter Starr was planning to make the trip, though Jeymi’s side would be empty. She explained to Kris that her family would not be mature enough to handle their wedding (probably not because of the fact that it’s a same sex marriage, but moreover the neck brace, nunchucks, and fairy wings or whatever other nonsense Kris would most likely wear). Will we get to witness the wedding next week, or will Kris have some crazy excuse?!

Danielle & Yohan:

Sometime between two episodes ago and now, Danielle flew back to the states to pack up her apartment so she can move to the DR and manifest her destiny. She was surrounded by piles of stuff and garbage, as she stressed out about having to have her entire apartment emptied and cleaned in less than one day. 
Next it was finally time for Daniele to leave the big apple, and she loaded up her 16 suitcases and headed off. She confessed to being slightly nervous to live with Yohan, citing their relationship might not be as fun in real life as it was on vacation. (Except now she can star in the movie “The Butcher’s Wife 2).
Daniele arrived in the Dominican Repooblic (copyright Pedro) and was met by her looming counterpart. She was a bit annoyed that Yohan hadn’t anticipated the amount of stuff she would be bringing to move, and only arrived in a 4 door car. He managed to “tote” most of her luggage in the backseat, but also had to tie a few suitcases to the roof. Daniele fought with him over who should drive the clown car home, claiming she was a better driver with many years of experience to his one year. Yohan pointed out that his anatomy did in fact make him a man, which was why Daniele should stop trying to emasculate him. It seems that Daniele is not comfortable being married to a macho man who wants a subservient wife, though who would have thought a man from the DR might have a problem with that (If things don’t work out, she could always move to Egypt and marry Machmood. He’s about to be single and is into girls with bad hair). 

Gabe & Isabel:

Back at The Family Isabel’s casa, Gabe had been banished to a separate room for the evening, as Father Isabel didn’t feel it was right for the unmarried couple to sleep together in the same bed. Gabe was starting to panic about telling Father Isabel that he is trans, fearing he wouldn’t want him to be with Isabel due to his religious beliefs. Furthermore he was getting concerned hearing that Isabel might have a hard time choosing between him and her own family if her parents didn’t approve. 
The day had finally come for the big talk. Isabel figured she would take everyone horseback riding first to lighten the mood before the heavy stuff. Gabe was nervous riding a horse (though he should have used the opportunity to make it into a commercial for his pecker pants, proving it’ll stay in place while horseback, just like all of the tampon commercials). 
The family had fun frollicking on the path, and afterwards went to grab a cup of coffee. Gabe began by speaking into his Jihoon translator, telling the Parents Isabel that he wanted to get everything out in the open. He dropped the truth bomb into the translator, as the segment cut off before showing if it was even translate the message properly, or if it was going to ruin the translation with the usual shenanigans. Can’t wait to find out next week what happens…

Debbie & Oussama:

Returning to the big screen, to the tune of “There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance” were Debbie and Oussama. It was the morning after their big fight, and Debbie was still feeling very upset about Oussama telling her this whole “move to Morocco” thing was more or less a test drive. He showed up at her bedroom door, asking to have a talk, as Debbie sashayed into the garden area wearing a fancy robe, fanning herself with a peacock feather fan (The fact that she packed a peacock feather fan to have on hand for her new life, is just one of the many reasons why Debbie is my new favorite).  
Oussama did his best to walk back his comments from last week, assuring Debbie that it was a simple misunderstanding. As his eyes looked at her with intensity (well, one of them anyway…), he explained that he wanted to marry her after taking the necessary traditional steps, and vowed to prove his love.
He started by taking Queen Debbie to the beach to enjoy the beautiful view (you’re my best view). While Debbie was taken with the sights of the sea, she was more impressed by a camel being walked by his owner across the sand, jumping out of her beach chair to get his attention. Debbie was determined to ride the camel along the shore, as she hopped on board, riding shotgun to Oussama. Debbie let loose, cheering with glee as her ride began, completely uninhibited. Afterwards she wondered if Oussama was embarrassed about her camel riding behavior, but was relieved to hear he felt no shame, and only had eyes for her (no matter which way they were looking). 

Jen(ny 2.0) & Rish(eet):

Back in Jaipur (where the wild animal population has grown from stray cows, pigs, and monkeys to now include painted elephants….sooo maaach dung), Jen was packing up her stuff to head home to the states, due to her inability to read the terms of her Visa. Rishi arrived on the scene to spend the last day with Jen, trying to reassure her that they will be able to stay connected during their reinstated title of “long distance relationship”.
Before Jen could start her journey to the airport, Rishi got down on one knee (narrowly escaping a pile of cow dung on the sidewalk) and proposed. Jen was taken with the sentiment (and unsparkliest of the House of 11 ring collection), and felt more comfortable about Rishi’s commitment level. 
Thanks to the magic of television, the next thing we knew Jen was instantly back in Oklahoma being picked up at the airport by her sister in law. She gushed over her proposal to her sister, and explained that she and Rishi had been practicing abstinence during her trip. 
Mother and Brother Jen were excited to see Jen back on the farm, though they had to restrain their “I told ya so’s”. Jen let her family know about the Family Rishi’s Wifequest 2023, along with the fact that she was introduced to them as his “friend”. The Family Jen tried to bring up all of the obvious flaws in this plan, pointing out that though they support her, they’re 99% sure it’s not going to work out how she wants (because it’s 90 Day, so we talk in percentages). Looks like next week’s previews show the Indian Jesus is up to his old “sending out topless pics on the internet” tricks again….