Love After Lockup; S3, EP 1

Lindsay & Scott:

We meet Scott and his interior decorator during a consultation while he is in the process of sprucing up his bachelor pad in preparation for the homecoming of his girlfriend, Lindsay. Scott is a 51 year old professional who isn’t too manly to wear a pink collared shirt. He has decided to stop dating on an “as needed” basis (aka stop sleeping around with women from match.com) and headed over to a new dating pool; A prison dating website. He met Lindsay, a very desirable 27 year old inmate who somehow has access to blue eye shadow in prison. Scott divulged all of the details of his relationship with Lindsay, such as the fact that she is a single mother imprisoned after a high speed chase with the police in which they found large amounts of meth in her car…oops. The decorator didn’t really know how to respond, but was most likely clutching her wallpaper samples a bit tighter. We even heard from Lindsay herself that Scott has been her support system throughout her prison haul, both emotionally and financially, even supporting her young daughter and mother. (Seems like a great idea to let your prison pen pal who you don’t really know hang out with your minor daughter… no big deal). Scott is very much looking forward to Lindsay’s release, even though the realtor feels he may be being used as a sugar daddy. Can’t wait to see more of this train wreck!

Maurice & Jessica:

Jessica is an all-American girl from Las Vegas who was raised in the suburban dream. She went on “plenty of fish” to find a man, and accidentally reeled in an inmate (I’m still unsure of how that’s possible…). Her parents are less than thrilled about their daughter’s romantic choices, as Maurice has been a gang banger since childhood, has a 9 year old daughter, and has been incarcerated for 7 years. Jessica is so sure of her love, that she got prison-married to Maurice  while she had overly box-dyed black-cherry hair (which looks so odd, being that she’s naturally blond. I digress….). Besides her parents, her sister is also very disappointed in her decision to marry a felon that she has been completely cut out from her life. While running errands, Jessica drives by her sister’s house to be a little creepy, hoping her sister wouldn’t realize she was there (though her car was pretty obvious with the taped up windows. Gotta keep it classy, this IS Love After Lockup, after all…). Jessica hopes that Maurice will prove them all wrong when he is released from prison, though the previews look bleak. 

John & Kristiana:

John is definitely an interesting man. He tells us right away that he is half NatIve American, by way of the Okiedokielala Lakota, which he feels very spiritually connected to. He starts off his segment by freezing some kind of eagle wing right next to his store brand ice cream (If you see a feather in your Cookies & Cream, just pluck it right out). Then we see him doing something in a crock pot, which is conveniently located right next to a very successful string of sticky fly paper. Note to self: Don’t eat anything at John’s house. John, probably due to his flowing locks, seems to have always been popular with the ladies, as he has previously been married 4 times and has 8 kids (that he can think of off the top of his head). The new lucky woman in his life is a local Iowa inmate, Kristiana. John plans to propose and marry her all in one fell swoop as soon as she is released, by setting up a wedding arch in the back of his car. He enlisted the help of his fellow long haired brother, Cordell, to build his portable chapel, and I’m just wondering if he will be defrosting the eagle wing as the cake topper. 
John feels confident that his proposal will be met with success, though his teenage daughter, Sapphire, seems skeptical. He finally comes clean to her about his pickup truck dream wedding to a convict (which felt weird to type in a sentence), and his daughter seems completely annoyed and unphased, as her dad has previously found girlfriends in other unconventional ways (like a Craigslist ad). He also discusses his own past with being locked up, and how he feels like he related to Kristiana on that level as well. I’m excited to see how this one goes.

Quaylon & Shavel:

Shavel is a seemingly nice single mom and aspiring rapper. Initially she was giving me major Megan Ma-Queen vibes from season 2 (hopefully her songs will not be about lemon pie). We see her sitting down for dinner with her mom and male cousins, who seem very concerned about her inmate boyfriend and skeptical that their relationship will work. Quaylon was possibly arrested for armed robbery at the age of 17 (and maybe also for raging out because he could never find a personalized keychain with his name on it at a souvenir shop). He seems eager to get out of prison and start his life fresh, giving a lot of credit to Shavel for keeping his spirits up throughout his sentence. 
Shavel’s family is extra nervous that she is being taken advantage of, since she had previously fallen for a scam by an alleged rap producer to whom she had paid a large sum of money to, and then had disappeared. Quaylon claims to be excited to start his new life with Shavel on the outside, but has asked that she pick up his mom on the way to his release, thus ruining their romantic reunion. Shavel & Quaylon 4eva.

Shawn & Destinee:

Shawn is a family man, having been married for many years with 6 children. After the end of his marriage, he went searching for a new soulmate on a prison dating site, which seemed like a good idea at the time. He has “been with” Destinee for about 9 months, although they have never been together in person, due to the fact that Destinee has packed on the pounds since becoming an inmate on drug charges. Shawn has been helping her financially to the tune of $35,000 dollars already (which is why she’s so chunky, too many hot cheetos and honey buns), and is instructed to now go to her probation officer to help get her released as soon as possible. Shawn does admit there are a few things he has been hiding from his locked up love, but he plans to come clean once she’s on the outside. Shawn heads to the bail bondsman (who’s name is shown as “TOPO”?? What’s up with Topo?), to discuss options for springing his ladyfriend. The bondsman gave him the harsh reality that a lot of prisoners use people from these dating sites and end up catfishing them. Shawn doesn’t believe this, though he is nervous about being on the hook for her $50k bail, but feels she is truly his “Destinee”. I wonder if Nev and Max do house calls to the big house?!

There are a few other new couples who will get to meet in future episodes, including one crazy looking redhead that I am especially excited about.
I can not even express how much I missed this show…