Love After Lockup, Lacklustre Finale

Again, I was very underwhelmed with this season’s finale, and kind of with the entire season in general. It seemed like the social media fights were more entertaining than the show itself (specifically anything posted by Clint and Tracie). I am really hoping for some more dynamic storylines next season.

Andrea & Lamar:
Andrea and Lamar return from camping and decide to take the family location debate to a vote. They dragged the decision through another 2 commercial breaks before announcing they are moving to LA. Andrea is sad that she’ll be leaving her bible study group and serenity for drive bys and traffic jams. Then she announced she wants a 4th child, and decided to test Lamar’s sperm count, which she worried were compromised due to prison diet and teenage marijuana usage. They use their weird feather masks and outfits they got from the adult store to work on their goal
…..of grossing everyone out.

Lacey / Shane/ Chon:
We picked back up where we left off last week, with the felonious love triangle. Chon claims he should get to be with Lacey because he’s a hustler, and he taunts Shane by putting on his “Bob the Builder” hat. Shane accuses Chon of being a drug dealer (Maybe Chon should start selling Scentsy like Tony!). Lacey is concerned that if there’s a Chon/Chain fight, they’ll both go back to jail, so she should probably get that security guy’s number just in case.
Lacey swapped out her wedding ring for her former Chon engagement ring, while telling Chon “We’re gunna have a good life”, as Shane was clearing out of the house.
In the final update, we learn that Shane and Lacey were still married but living separately…then again I did see online that they made an “adult video” together so you could say it was a “happy ending”.


Angela & ToeKnee:
Angela broke tradition by seeing the groom before the wedding, as she had to make sure Tony was alone in his hotel room (she probably lay should have checked the closets and under the bed for women too).
Donna Faye & Co. were trying to talk Angela out of marrying her convict while the glam square were sweating it out, trying to beautify the bride.
Andre 3000 gave Tony a pre wedding pep talk. It was nice that Andre was on theme for the wedding (his gold teeth counted as “hints of yellow”).
I was admittedly impressed with Tony’s wedding plans, executed perfectly by the Overalls twins. Angela rolled up to the wedding in style with a whole son!!!! Who we knew nothing about!!! I have so many questions for him…
Angela looked pretty good, and we got to see that her unlimited budget got her a whole lot of weeds… but the daisies did look on trend with the “hints of yellow” theme Tony requested. The ceremony was romantic, with Tony vowing to “burn together as twin flames”. Angela vowed to love him near or far, and even after death (so don’t try to fake it to get away!) Everyone seemed to shed a tear, even Andre….(oh wait, his was permanently tattooed on his face. Still counts).
The reception was dreamy, with a pretty tent overlooking the water. Tommy decided to cheers to the happy couple, by calling Tony a “crazy m*therf*cker”, which seemed to mean a lot to Tony.
Two days later during the update, Angela is back to checking Tony’s sim card, and finds suspicious messages. She spends the honeymoon changing the locks on the door.


Megan MuhQueen/Michael/Sarah/Ghetto fabulous Sarah/ New Female Maria:
Megan was in the recording studio, singing her new hit song involving lemon pie and the Michael drama, which would have made a better country song. Michael pops into the studio to touch base with Megan and tell her he’s moved on to New Female Maria. Megan can NOT believe he’s been in a “whole ass other relationship” (eventhough he was previously in a “whole ass other marriage”…….).
We then see him in Miami with Maria, bringing his cell phone in the ocean like an idiot, to make a video to show his 4 year old what a great life he’s living without her.
Then we cut away to Sarah, who is left being a single mom to the pretty girls, claiming that Avihana thought Michael was dead. No, pretty girl, just brain dead. The segment ends with Michael giving Maria a piggy back ride into the sunset and Sarah taking a pregnancy test. Guess she was obulatin-…


Clint & Tracie:
Clint is driving a very distraught Tracie to rehab, with Mama Alice tuning in on speaker phone. They stopped to reflect in an open field for a minute, and zoom in on Tracies awful wig with the dreadlocks. We later learn that Tracie checked out 24 hours later, but ultimately ended up completing rehab.


Brittany & Marcelino:
Brittany got some bad news about trying to find her adopted children, but maybe its for the best at the moment…. Seems like they’ve got enough children to worry about on a poker player salary. Then there was a gender reveal party for Brittany and Marcelino’s second baby, which turns out to be a boy. Giovanni is so excited to have a baby brother. Cant wait to see little Zoilo! (Or just hear what other names they might choose).