Last Resort; S1, EP2:

This week opened with Liz on top of a teetering “Big Ed”- a sight I could have gone on the rest of my life not seeing. They currently think they’re holding the title of “Best Couple”, which doesn’t seem like much of an achievement, given the competition. Kelly was sulking around because Molly didn’t want to sit next to him, probably because they’re not together and seeing other people. Angela rolled around in her hotel room, gossiping with Mykal about the whole Kalani/Asuelu scandal. And speaking of them….

Back in their suite, Asuelu and his perv-stache confronted Kalani about “Mr. Hall Pass”, asking if she had feelings for him. He was hurt to hear that Kalani is more interested in being with this mystery man than watching him dance around for the rest of eternity. She explained that he had no reason to be upset over her decision to be with another man, being that he permitted it and was also with other women. She then asked him to leave the room, making it clear that she didn’t want to sleep next to him, period (I’m sure he could do the Backstreet Boy choreography to “Bye, Bye, Bye” right about now…with a little chee-hoo flair). 

The next morning, Yara and Jovi were doing some weird “twin-flame” exercise that involved him trying to climb on top of her. Molly and Big Ang met up by the pool, flaunting some boob tats and floating around on pool noodles. Molly explained her gripes with Kelly, basically saying he never followed through on his plans to move to Georgia and marry her. Angela encouraged her to try harder to fight for her relationship….that she’s already out of.

Later on, the couples met up with the counselor that looks EXACTLY like Ancient Jenny (or Mrs. Sumitch, if you’re nasty), to do some pointless obstacle course activity. The couples had to partner up, which was a problem for Angela, since Mykal’s monitor was just going to slow her down. She picked Jovi as a partner, which didn’t surprise Yara, since they both share drinking as a common interest.
Each couple had one person blindfolded and the other guiding them through the course. Ed of course cheated, as he could see through his blindfold and everyone including Liz got annoyed. Kalani mostly berated Asuelu, and Molly was just glad that Kelly manned up. The couple that crushed the competition surprisingly were Meemaw and Jovi, who won, while Ed complained in the corner like an angry little hermit crab. The stupid object of the game was “communication”, which was awarded to Jovi and Angela, clearly the best couple there. After the activity, they sat down with Counselor Jenny to reflect on how their experience mirrors their relationships. Molly felt she wanted Kelly to be a leader, and Liz felt like quitting because Ed has his own goals in mind and doesn’t listen to her. And she’s figuring this out for the millionth time…..

Yara was inspired to tell Jovi that she has been taking birth control behind his back, because she’s not ready to have a second baby. He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just tell him, and said he would never want her to get pregnant if she truly didn’t want to (But at least having this secret secured their all-inclusive trip to the Keys and most importantly…..open bar).
Kalani felt the activity showcased the issues in their relationship; She tells him what to do, he doesn’t do it, she yells, and he still doesn’t do it. Kalani seems to be completely done, moving on with the hall pass, and uninterested in going back to the dancing wonder. She did, however, agree to block the mystery man’s phone number while they were at the retreat to prove she was giving it her all. 

Later that night, the number 1 couple in their own minds (Liz and Ed), headed into a tiny hot tub, with Ed stripping down to his birthday suit. They were caught by Angela, who retaliated by flashing him her boobs, and Jerry Springer lives on. Molly and Kelly showed up, which finally prompted Ed to suit back up, and they all jumped into what essentially looked like a pot of D-list reality soup. 
Kelly was sick of Ed interrupting everyone, and the arguing escalated, with Ed threatening that he knows karate. Everyone began to yell, and Meemaw eventually had to shut it down. Previews for next week show Angela getting in Liz’s annoying face, and the drama continues!