It’s an all new season of my favorite 90 Day Flavor- Before the 90 Days of Our Lives. I love when we get to take trips to places I never knew I wanted to go, and I LOVE meeting a new cast of desperately hopeless hopefuls. First up was Forrest, a 32 year old man […]
Pittiya started this week off with a little game of tennis with her rival, Mother Dylan, whom she blames for all of her relationship issues. Mother Dylan seemed to have her son’s undying love, while Pittiya’s “love” was apparent in tennis (In fairness, she was wearing a knee brace, most likely due to a work […]
After hearing that Johnny had cheated on her daughter, Mother Chloe decided to take her future pirate-in-law on a one on one hike. They went to a beachscape venue to discuss the infidelity, which Johnny claimed happened before their “exclusive” title. Mother Chloe tried to move past the mistrust, though she was wicked skeptical if […]
Jasmine and Matt?: With the baby’s due date nearing, Jasmine and Matt decided to hit up a birthing class. Jasmine bounced around on a yoga ball like an old pro, while Matt fought through his giggle from the teacher saying the word “vagina”. He seemed nervous about the impending birth process, but promised to do […]
Greta finally had a chance to shower and calm down after her lengthy and pungent flight. Matthew felt they were off to a rocky start, being that Greta was upset by his lack of preparation of his childhood bedroom. Matthew’s parents returned home with a welcome cake (Vegan of course) to make Greta feel like […]
Darcey was attempting to play “Darcey Homemaker”, cooking a meal for Georgi Porgie. The two were still barely speaking (even less than usual) after the Bulgarian blunder trip, and wondered if their marriage would last. Darcey did her signature tearless-cry, which Georgi found unimpressive, even though he himself is a giant Frankenstein incapable of crying- […]
Greta & Matthew: After last week’s tearful goodbye with her cat, Greta finally boarded her flight to England to be with the other love of her life, Matthew. She was ripe upon arrival, intoxicating her beloved with her pungent scent, which she attributed to schlepping her bags through the airport without wearing deodorant. They had […]
Jasmine, Matt & Gino: A very pregnant Jasmine reveled in all of her pink purchases as she prepared for the arrival of her baby girl. She felt that Matt’s mood had shifted ever since the gender reveal, and worried he was ashamed to introduce her to his family. Matt maintained that he was unsure of […]
Since they now have made up, Brandon and Julia decided to take her parents to visit Betty and Ron down on the family farm. Boris and Natasha marveled at all of the animal sights and scents, though they seemed to be more impressed with the hot sauce at dinner than the entire menagerie (Father Julia […]
Yara and Jovi were out at the dog park soliciting potential customers for Yara’s new fancy dog brand. She was about to have her big “launch party”, which involved setting up her luxury dog wares at some park restaurant for other bougie pet owners with nothing better to do. Loren stopped by under the guise […]
