Greta finally had a chance to shower and calm down after her lengthy and pungent flight. Matthew felt they were off to a rocky start, being that Greta was upset by his lack of preparation of his childhood bedroom. Matthew’s parents returned home with a welcome cake (Vegan of course) to make Greta feel like […]
Darcey was attempting to play “Darcey Homemaker”, cooking a meal for Georgi Porgie. The two were still barely speaking (even less than usual) after the Bulgarian blunder trip, and wondered if their marriage would last. Darcey did her signature tearless-cry, which Georgi found unimpressive, even though he himself is a giant Frankenstein incapable of crying- […]
Greta & Matthew: After last week’s tearful goodbye with her cat, Greta finally boarded her flight to England to be with the other love of her life, Matthew. She was ripe upon arrival, intoxicating her beloved with her pungent scent, which she attributed to schlepping her bags through the airport without wearing deodorant. They had […]
Jasmine, Matt & Gino: A very pregnant Jasmine reveled in all of her pink purchases as she prepared for the arrival of her baby girl. She felt that Matt’s mood had shifted ever since the gender reveal, and worried he was ashamed to introduce her to his family. Matt maintained that he was unsure of […]
Since they now have made up, Brandon and Julia decided to take her parents to visit Betty and Ron down on the family farm. Boris and Natasha marveled at all of the animal sights and scents, though they seemed to be more impressed with the hot sauce at dinner than the entire menagerie (Father Julia […]
Yara and Jovi were out at the dog park soliciting potential customers for Yara’s new fancy dog brand. She was about to have her big “launch party”, which involved setting up her luxury dog wares at some park restaurant for other bougie pet owners with nothing better to do. Loren stopped by under the guise […]
This week Tiffany was on a date with Jay (the guy who asked her out to get more screen time). The date seemed like more of an interview than a naturally flowing conversation, with Jay immediately moving in for an unprevoked makeout session so he can win first place male suitor. Tiffany resisted his advances, […]
Cole seems to have found himself in a pickle (Which is usually only a problem Jennifer has…). He apparently made up rumors that Elise and Rob were sleeping together, then when confronted, blamed Tiffany. Jennifer was turned off by Cole’s caddy display, so she strutted over to where Rob and Elise were relaxing by the […]
Darcey arrived in Bulgaria with her 9 suitcases full of the HouseOfEleven’s new conservative family-friendly line. Before it was time to dress to impress, the couple went to The Bulgarian Bed N Breakfast for a romantic honeymoon experience. Darcey decided to test out the acoustics of the room to ensure the yucky desk clerk wouldn’t […]
Brandon and Julia joined the roster this week, discussing married life post-therapy. Julia agreed to give the whole baby thing a try, as long as Brandon let her parents come and visit with the intention of moving to the U.S. The confusing part is that Julia’s parents are divorced, but would be coming to stay […]
