Before the 90 Days; S6 EP 1

I have to say that of all the iterations of “90 Days”, “Before” is my absolute favorite. It’s generally the most ridiculous and entertaining, and I’m hoping Season 6 doesn’t disappoint.
That being said…. Settle in, gentle readers…. Here goes episode 1.

Amanda & Razvan:

Amanda is a 31 year old single mother from Louisiana, currently visiting her sister in Marietta, Ohio (not sure why that was relevant). Amanda explained that she had recently lost her husband of 8 years to lung cancer, and is trying her best to navigate her new life as a single mother of two. She carries around a box containing her husband’s ashes on the inside and photo on the outside to help make her kids (and probably herself) feel like he’s always with them. (I’m not crying, you’re crying).
To escape from her everyday life, she sought refuge in scrolling through Tiktok videos, and came across a man named Razvan from Bucharest, Romania (not associated with Bucarumunga, which is still my favorite 90 Day location name). Razvan’s goofy personality (and abs) quickly won Amanda over, and the two have been internet dating for 4 months. Amanda feels it’s pretty serious even though the two haven’t met yet in person and it’s so soon after losing her husband. She is preparing to head to Romania to meet the Tiktok star of her dreams and hopes he will be the new love of her life.

Amanda’s sister Amber was concerned that she was jumping into this relationship too fast, as she was still grieving. As the two went out to get a spray tan, Sister Amber (who’s a big fan of shiny eyeshadow and probably owns a few Ed Hardy t-shirts..) felt Amanda was using Razvan as a fun distraction, but was concerned since she seemed very invested. Her sister also brought up the fact that in the 4 short months they have been in an internet-relationship, they have broken up and gotten back together several times. Amanda explained that Razvan’s career in the entertainment sector often involved him flirting with/kissing/or showering on the internet for lots of women.

With only 3 days until her big trip, Amanda sat her kids down to talk about going to Romania. She claimed they liked Razvan from their video chats, as he’s goofy and entertains them by wearing random ridiculous costumes. Amanda and Razvan also talked about the upcoming trip, discussing some of their plans, which included taking her to one of his video shoots with a female co-star. Amanda brushed it off, thinking he was joking, and admitted the constant female attention he receives makes her jealous. She worried about how serious he really is, and if he would be a good male role model in her children’s lives. 

It was finally time to leave, and Amanda gave her children matching puzzle piece necklaces to wear in her absence while they stayed with their aunt. Sister Amber drove them to the airport with Amanda’s husband’s ashes riding in the backseat (Not gunna lie… his face in the picture looked slightly disapproving and skeptical). While they rode to the airport, her son Junior asked if Amanda would be sleeping in Razvan’s bed (but he didn’t ask who else was sleeping there… Maybe Amanda should ask too. I get a bad feeling….)
The family all had an emotional goodbye at the airport as Amanda headed off on her love journey. 
All I’m sayin’ is…. This Razvan character better not hurt her or I’m sending him an Angela-gram in the mail! (That’s when you send the classiest trashiest b*tch to take care of business!)

Gino & Jasmine:

Resurrected from the 90 Day graveyard were Gino and Jasmine, for a second round of creepy laughing, baseball caps, and flying toothbrushes. Gino started off this season at a salon in Michigan, picking out extensions for his fiance, Jasmine, the Panamaniac. He explained the relationship to any newcomers, including their tumultuous fighting and engagement with the horrible ring. After returning home from his last trip to Panama as an engaged man, Gino immediately filed the K1-Visa to bring Jazzy J back to the states. Since the Visa takes awhile to process, he loaded up his best hats and prepared to head to Panama for a visit.

Meanwhile in Panama… Jasmine came on the screen at a doctor’s office with the hopes of becoming a born again virgin. She asked the doctor to try and tighten her lady bits as to be more attractive to Gino, if one could imagine (I only hope the doctor was recommended by  Darcey and Stacey, so she can make sure her snatch is snatched). Jasmine explained in great detail the difficulties she and Gino have in the bedroom department, as well as all of her efforts to counteract those issues. The doctor looked mortified as he tried to stay professional, but probably raised the price after having to become a part time therapist (and hear about Gino’s sexual dysfunction).

Jasmine called Gino to let him know that since she had to wait so long for the Visa, her lease was now up and she would have to find another apartment until she was approved. She insisted that Gino put her up in a luxury building for $3000/month so she could live out what would hopefully be her final month in her home country in style. Of course the price tag left Gino with sticker shock, as he stared at the brunette beauty while wearing his latest ill-fitting hat.

After shaking Gino down for rent, Jasmine was seen sitting down with a much better looking Australian man for lunch. Apparently this was Jasmine’s ex boyfriend Dane (Or “DEN”, as she says..), which was the entire reason she wanted to move into the expensive building. Jasmine claimed she and her ex-Den were only friends, as she discussed some of her relationship troubles she was having with Gino. Dane almost looked scared or highly concerned that Jasmine was moving into his building, as one should. He tried to advise Jasmine not to settle for someone who doesn’t make you happy (though he didn’t realize he was potentially turning Jasmine’s attention and crazy energy towards himself). The previews for this season look absolutely insane… I would advise “Den” to move, asap.

Riley & Violet:

Riley is a 48 year old man hailing from Stroudsburg, PA by way of New Yawk. Riley likes to spend his days skit-skat-skadooo-ing to jazz music while puffing on a cigar. He shares his home with his cute pup, Mila, and explained his rather stressful job working in public safety. It seems that Riley has not been so lucky with love in the past, as his first serious girlfriend cheated on him with a friend, and his second serious girlfriend disappeared without telling him. Poor Riley was about to give up when he met Violet, a 42 year old woman from Vietnam. The two seem to have a feisty relationship, as they banter back and forth, even giving each other the middle finger to show affection. Riley is cautious though, as he has caught Violet fibbing in the past, especially when it came to the question of whether or not she is legally divorced. 

Riley went to meet up with his friend and his wife to discuss his upcoming love voyage. The friends Riley were completely skeptical of this new relationship, especially when they found out he had sent Violet money (though he said it was only once for a birthday present for her daughter…”Sure, Jan”). He also mentioned that he planned to marry Violet, and bring her along with her two daughters to the U.S. Although Riley seemed pretty set on this idea, he was slightly alarmed as he had seen that Violet was still on a dating site after they had been “together” (over the internet). His friends urged him to be careful and keep his eyes open, as they didn’t like the sound of this idea from the start. Hopefully Riley will be “jazzed” when he arrives, instead of alone and singing the blues…

Tyray & Carmella:

Another new face this season is Tyray, a self proclaimed “giant teddy bear”. He started the season off by freestylin’ at a park while playing the ukulele (clearly a Tiny Tim fan). The 33 year old lives in Modesto, California with mom, who was recently disabled after suffering a stroke. Though he gave up his social life to devote time to his mother, Tyray is unbothered, since he has an online girlfriend, Carmella to keep him company. The two had been chatting for 4 years and he was finally saving up enough money to pay her a visit in Barbados. Tyray explained that he encouraged Carmella to help her achieve career goals, and she in turn was there for him while dealing with his mother’s medical issues. He also revealed they had been having “naughty” chats with photos, which was his only real sexual experience, since he is a virgin. Although their relationship spanned a few years, Carmella claimed to feel uncomfortable video chatting, which somehow didn’t raise any red flags for the big guy.

The production team, on the other hand, did Tyray a solid, by intervening. Before the poor guy spent all of his money on a trip, they let him know they made some discoveries about “Carmella”. They took Tyray outside, out of earshot of his mother, to tell him that Carmella Soprano was actually a man using someone else’s photos. They did give Tyray the option to stop filming, though it looks from the previews that he forges on to try and confront the fake-Carmella. In a way, I’m glad they didn’t drag out this “The Williams”/ Maria and Caesar/ David & Lana catfish storyline for an entire season. However, I’m not sure where this is going to go. I think the best possible ending would be if Maria, Lana, and The Williams surprised him in Barbados…

David & Sheila:

David is a 42 year old deaf man from Omaha, Nebraska, who is looking to make recapping really difficult (I can’t shop online while I watch now because I’ll miss everything). In Omaha, David works as both a stockist at what appeared to be Costco, and a janitor at a casino. He enjoys walking around the bustling city but has to be alert at all times since he can’t hear. Growing up, David was sent away to a deaf school where he learned sign language as his means to communicate. 

As far as his romantic life goes, David had a serious girlfriend of 6 years who was also deaf but they broke up, due to the fact that she cheated on him (There must’ve been hands flying everywhere for that breakup). Despite his bad experience, David did not give up on love. He sought out companionship through a facebook group for hearing impaired people where he met Sheila.
Sheila is from the Philippines, and is not fully deaf but does wear hearing aids. She and her 12 year old son live in a tiny house that was destroyed by both a fire and a typhoon (though I’m guessing not simultaneously, since then they might have counteracted each other). In order to help Sheila get back on her feet, David has been sending her money over the past year. Despite the obvious red flag, he doesn’t feel like he’s being used, and looks forward to finally getting to meet the newest love of his life. 

Next we saw David head into a bar where he stopped to chat with his local bartender about his upcoming trip to finally meet Sheila in person. He explained that if all goes well, he plans on proposing, and filing to bring Sheila to the U.S. so they can start a family. Of course the bartender tried to point out the obvious potentially awful scenarios that could take place, but David was so sure of his relationship, it fell on deaf ears.
Let’s hope Sheila is not a User Moohamit….