Before the 90 Days Season 8 Episode 15

Elise & My Boyfriend Joshua:

Well, it didn’t take long for Elise to spiral out of control and show her crazy on the opposite side of the world. Between being forced to live in an AirBNB with a towel on the floor and Josh leaving to go to work for an hour, her eye was twitching and she was losing control. Joshua returned to the “frat house” bNb, claiming to have snuck out while Elise was sleeping to get some work done. She immediately accused him of being with his friend, Nat, which he adamantly denied, reassuring her that he was simply at his day job prepping boats for “Below Deck” (Truthfully I’d be more worried about him having a crush on his friend Chris than Nat). She agreed to try and curb her crazy for a little bit so they could hit up the beach.
The two went for a surfing lesson, fully equipped with wetsuits, which was the most clothed Elise has been this season. After getting tossed around the briny sea (And probably almost getting eaten by like 10 sharks), they went to grab a rather large bite to eat. Elise had trouble opening her otherwise large mouth to take down her chicken sandwich, but had an easier time opening her mouth to question Joshua. She cited the reason for her distrust was due to her past, where her ex fiance died of a drug overdose, though she was completely unaware of his addiction. Josh didn’t appreciate the interrogation session, and the two inevitably got into another fight, which ruined the entire evening.
The next day Joshua took some time confiding in his pal Chris, while Elise called her parents to vent. The Parents Elise reminded her that she’s known to be a bit unhinged, and advised her to give the guy a break. Whatever happens during the rest of this trip, PLEASE do not let this woman pet a koala. She’s going to stress them out, and they just don’t deserve it.

Ricky & Trisha:
Rich awoke in his guest suite at the Family Trish compound after a restful night on the bottom bunk. He unfolded himself and strutted over to the outdoor shower (Very HGTV), where he used a coffee can full of cold water to rinse off. Trisha and the ladies of the compound laughed while Rick shrieked and complained. Father Trish pulled his daughter aside to discuss their house guest. He felt he couldn’t give Rick his blessing unless he committed to having a baby with Trish, which she realized was a tall order. Trish begged her dad/Obama-impersonator for more time, but he insisted he’d only condone the relationship if he got a “World’s Best Grandpa” mug in the near future.

Daniel & BabyGirl Lisa #2:
Now that Lisa put everything out in the open about her 20 years practicing “lesbianism”, the two were headed over to meet with the Uncle Daniel. The Uncle (Who’s name is Modestus, which is my new favorite name), arrived in a bright pink outfit (in honor of lesbianism). Daniel explained the situation while Lisa sat next to him, blubbering and groveling. The wise old elder berated her for lying, as she tried to blame her lady-lovin’ ways on her “American culture”. I believe Uncle Modestus threw the term “abomination” around pretty liberally, as he was about to let Daniel off the hook from marrying her.
Lisa then pulled her last trick out of her bag, by having a panic attack, which Uncle Mo felt was just for sympathy. Previews for next week look like Uncle Mo may be trying to give Lisa an exorcism, and there may or may not be a blood sacrifice resulting in her winding up like Sissy Spacek in the movie “Carrie”. I can’t wait, but I’m also terrified.

Laura & Beercan & Michael, oh my!
Michael was settling into Laura’s Moroccan apartment, where Beercan was casually watching “Scarface” and refused to say hello to her little friend. Though he was cold and passive aggressive, Beercan agreed to show off his city to the rival suitor. He took the two tourists out on the town, making their first stop at none other than a shisha bar. Beercan explained that he had owned 3 shisha establishments previously, but now is a professional gambler and Scarface enthusiast. After going back and forth with Michel in a “who loves Laura more” contest, Michael decided to call it a night, and went back to his hotel room alone. The next day BC suggested that he and Michael have a guys’ afternoon, casually playing a game of pool, and possible darts….aimed at one another’s annoying hair. At the pool hall, Beerstein made small talk, insinuating that Michael was on a love quest to win Laura back. Michael, however, let him know that he had never been romantically interested in Laura, although she had previously made a move on him (I wonder if Beercan is a fan of “Goodfellas”….. He’ll be screaming “Why did you do that, Karen?!?” as soon as he sees Laura at the hotel).

Emma & …..No one:
After getting ditched in the desert by the spaghetti-armed Zied, Emma reached out to her ex fiance, Mohammed to try and salvage the trip (Good thing she had his number in her phone… if she would have looked up “Mohammed” in the phone book we would need another 6 seasons). Conveniently she had her old engagement ring on her hand, as the cab delivered her to the restaurant to meet. The restaurateur couldn’t help but have his eyes glued to her cleavage, as she ordered a cappuccino, waiting for Mohammed’s big arrival. She watched the crowd intensely, spotting a few guys who could potentially have been him, but no such luck.
After 20 text messages and phone calls, she finally received word that Moohamitt was not interested, especially since he was engaged to somebody else. (She could probably throw a rock and hit another Mohammed… I’m pretty sure her only dating qualification is that the guy lives in Morocco and has noodle arms).

Aviva & Stig Da Kid:
Now that Aunt Spring had left town, Stig and Aviva were finally alone and getting along happily. Stig decided it was time he dropped the “L” bomb ( Which you’d think would have come before “breeding”). She was overjoyed and hoped he would make her Mrs. “Da Kid” by the end of the visit. To commemorate the “I love you” announcement, Stig planned a romantic getaway on the other, more jungley side of the island.
They arrived at their scenic resort just in time for an ancient Mayan tortilla making lesson. The two decided to make the tortilla exercise rated R, as they produced the sequel to “Ghost”, but now with ancient tortillas (I’m sure the ancient Mayans as well as the tortilla instructors were equally as annoyed). All of the sensual corn meal activity had made Aviva ravenous, which Stig felt might be due to “pregnancy cravings”. They decided to go back to the hotel room so she could take a pregnancy test and leave everyone in suspense until next week (Though her baby bump is pretty noticeable in every interview…..Unless it’s a corn tortilla food baby). Maybe next week, if she’s pregnant, they can reenact “Dirty Dancing”, and nobody will put the baby in the corner.