Lisa & Daniel:
After last week’s devastated revelation that Lisa was in fact still a married woman, Daniel had been ignoring her completely. He decided to give her a second chance, however, since she had already paid for a romantic getaway (and he probably needed another pair of shorts or something).
The two awkwardly reconvened and headed off towards their latest love nest that Lisa had booked, site unseen. Though the “resort” was a bit of an abandoned ghost town, their little suite seemed nice…..that was until a very large spider made an appearance on the ceiling. It is in fact possible that Lisa’s voice is capable of being more annoying, as she screeched and panicked, begging Daniel to remove the unsightly creature (Which could have been referring to her wig). He proceeded to tease her by kicking the spider in her direction, which brought on the Lisa waterworks. Though they were making an attempt to get along for the sake of the hotel deposit, Daniel made it clear that he had no plans to sleep next to Lisa or her wig any time soon.
He was however duped, as she cried incessantly all night, forcing him to comfort her, which she took as making “progress”. The next morning they took a walk to the desolate beach, where they had a mini photoshoot before tooling around on a tandem bike. Though it seemed like they were on an upswing, Lisa had the full truth of her situation weighing on her hunched shoulders.
She took the opportunity that night to reveal that last of her secrets, that she was still married to a woman, who wasn’t even her first wife. Daniel’s eyes almost popped out as he could not believe Lisa had participated in “lesbianism”, although she had assured his uncle that she had not. He threw his ring in her direction and went back to the hotel to hopefully collect a bunch of spiders to put on her wig. That kind of lie deserves it.

Laura & Beercan:

It was time for more sightseeing as the two headed out to check out the “Ephesus”, an ancient ruin. Though Laura was loving her history lesson, she was a bit worried about Beercan’s reaction to Michael’s arrival. When she revealed that Michael would be coming any minute, Beercan was crushed. His whole demeanor changed, as he fired off one insult after the other about Laura’s bothersome bestie.
Back at the apartment, Michael knocked on the door, and the two friends united with a long, lingering hug. Michael (Who has all of the pep of an extra from “Mary Poppins”), exuberantly tried to start a conversation with Laura’s Turkish angsty teen, but no such luck. B.C. tried to intimidate Michael by disclosing his favorite movie, Scarface, due to his love of violence, which resulted in “Oh Golly!!” from Michael. The rest of this visit should be interesting. I’m guessing Michael would like to play a game of “Kick the ‘Can” right about now.

Elise & Joshua:

The 3 amigos headed off from the airport and proceeded directly to the bar. Elise’s left boob was trying to escape from her skintight dress as she continued to be a good sport. Though Joshua was happy to have her around, he seemed more concerned with missing the Melbourne Cup and spending time with his best mate, Chris.
They finally took Elise back to the vacation rental, making sure to give her the full tour. Though she was impressed with the place in general, she was infuriated by the small size of the bathroom, and even more mad that Chris hung his manly portrait over her bed. She raffled off an entire list of demands, which she seemed to think was “cute”, but really was just the first waving of the red flags. After getting disrobed (which didn’t take long, since she wasn’t wearing a bra or underwear and all of her outfits are made out of Ace bandages), Elise slipped into something a bit less revealing to entice Joshua, though she had vowed not to “lead with $ex”. Joshua seemed to behave himself and sleep on the couch (But probably wanted to, since it was closer to Chris’s bedroom).

Jovan & Annalynn:

The first night at home for the couple was rough as they had to make an unexpected trip to the vet for Annalyn’s cat, Meto. Luckily little Meto was okay, and the two tried to catch up on their sleep. Jovan got a crash course on how to use the home toilet, which he will really need after the feast that Mother Annalynn prepared. She was excited to get to know her son in law a bit better and ask him some tough questions, via Annalynn translating. She was wondering why it took 6 years for him to finally get to the ‘Peens and wondered what his future plans were with her daughter. Jovan, enthusiastic as ever, promised to be coming back to town really soon (Which is unfortunately not a day on the calendar. Also, it seems like Mother Annalynn wanted him to take her daughter with him so she could have the place to herself). Later on, Jovan made a slight attempt to be fun by offering to take Annalynn to get matching pedicures, especially since she had incessantly complained about his unkempt feet. The couple wandered into the pink pedicure palace and were greeted by a cheerful group of manacurist who had never seen someone as tall as Jovan before (Their towels were only big enough to dry his big toe). While the nice ladies buffed and polished, the couples’ conversation seemed to take a turn, with Annalynn once again blaming Jovan’s crappy attitude on his “man podcasts”. He felt like she was ungrateful for all that he has provided, and only wants to be a traditional wife when she feels like it. Eventually Annalynn stormed off in a huff, frustrated that Jovan is super boring and annoying (Which she somehow didn’t realize during 7 years of chatting on the phone).

Emma & No more Zied#2:

After getting dumped in the sand by Zied #2, Emma somehow managed to find her way back to Marrakesh in her ridiculous heels, blisters and all. She called her best friend to discuss the desert dumping, and admitted she had since contacted her ex, Moohamit (Who is undoubtedly a user). She had plans to meet up with him for lunch, which would of course require a lot more makeup, spandex, and wig-touching. Unfortunately we have to wait for next week to meet mystery Moo-hammit, who’s arms are hopefully equally as noodley as Zied’s were.

Trisha & Rick:

Trish and Rick were back in their hotel room, preparing to move forward with their trip to her hometown. Rick was in a rage over the fact that Trish had mentioned going somewhere that her ex boyfriend had taken her, feeling like she was being disrespectful. Trisha maintained that she was just simply stating that she had been to the location before, and that Rick had some nerve being jealous, especially given his past transgressions with his ex. Eventually the two made up, as they headed out towards her hometown. Can’t wait to see how much Trisha’s whole family hates Rick next week. We could use a lemur or something though… we are lacking fun animals in the last few episodes.