Before the 90 Days; Season 8 Episode 5

Sheena took Forrest on a shopping spree to the local market to pick up some new outfits. She had told him to pack light, since shopping in the ‘Peens is so cheap, but unfortunately for Forrest, they don’t have a “Big & Tall” section. He did, however, walk away with a pair of extra tightie whities and some high waters. After shopping commenced, the two sat to discuss their next activity; Meeting the Parents Sheena. She advised against bringing Forrest’s raving lunatic mother for the first meet up, as to avoid making a scene in front of friends and neighbors. Forrest agreed, though he knew it was going to be a battle to get his mom to trail behind.
Of course when Mother Forrest got wind of this solo visit she went crazy, which was only accentuated by her not-touristy-at-all “coolie” hat. She feared that the Parents Sheena would somehow take advantage of Forrest if she wasn’t there to referee. Sheena expected the drama, and did her best to try and explain that her parents weren’t evil, bad people (despite her previous claims that they were mean and she needed to be rescued). Can’t wait to meet the in-laws next week!

Lisa aired out her wig for the last leg of her journey to Lagos, Nigeria, as she excitedly prepared to meet Daniel. Once landing, she partook in the ceremonial bathroom freshening ceremony, where the traveler wipes themselves down and sprays perfume obsessively in all of their nooks and crannies in the confines of an airport bathroom stall. Daniel waited patiently for his destiny to arrive, flowers in hand (Ahem, Coltee!!). He greeted Lisa passionately, by eating her face off (Unsure if that is a conventional tribal greeting, or unique to Daniel himself).
Once the airport doors opened, there were Nigerian dancers showing off their moves specifically for Lisa. She joined in the fun, arms and wig flopping with joy, as she tried to keep up with the crowd. Daniel was so impressed by his foreign bride’s eagerness to play along, that he decided to pop the question, then and there. I guess Lisa has to hurry up and get that divorce from her current wife, or she’ll never be Daniel’s Baby Girl Lisa!

Jovon was on his way to the ‘Peens (I’m pretty sure 90 Day gets a group rate on the Airpeens … .that’s the national airline of the Philippines). While he was busy enjoying in-flight entertainment, we got to meet Annalynn, the 38 year old firecracker who has been waiting 6 years to meet her husband. She had given up her livelihood and friends all to dedicate her life to her absentee husband, who supports her on $500/month (She’s basically a car payment). Annalynn lives next door to her mother, with whom she discussed her anticipation over Jovan’s arrival. Mother Annalynn hoped the best for her daughter, but acknowledged that she has a quick temper, and seemed to be a bit confrontational.
Hours later, Jovan finally arrived at the airport, with Annalynn waiting in the baggage claim, jumping up and down to greet him. The husband and wife finally shared their first marital kiss, as they headed off towards their romantic beach resort. Annalynn seemed to be smitten with her tall traveler, and only put off by his stinky feet, which he claimed were due to a lengthy travel. Once back at their honeymoon suite, she slipped into a red nightie and announced it was past due that they consummate their online marriage. I’m sure she’ll talk all about it next week!

Back in Turkey, Laura and BeerCan were still awkwardly getting to know each other. She did reveal that they allegedly “made out” twice, which was undoubtedly followed by some Beerkan words of wisdom and blank staring. To really break the ice, Laura decided to take him to a local plastic surgeon to discuss a skin flab removal surgery (Always a great day-date activity- and it’s free!). The two headed in to the surgeon’s office where he photographed all of Laura’s loose skin and folds. He then presented the imaged in front of BeerCan, who was so busy playing with a pair of silicone implants someone had left on the table, he hardly noticed. Laura immediately regretted the outing, as she worried that this may have turned BeerCAN into a BeerCANT.
As they headed out, he insisted he wasn’t put off by Laura’s flab, and was in fact proud of her for losing it? Gaining it? Wanting to cut it off? He wasn’t sure. He was just proud. Previews for next week show Beercan discussing his financial situation (Spoiler Alert: He doesn’t even have enough money to fill up a beer can).

Emma strolled around the Moroccan market in search of hair oil, to lube up her wig. She met up with new Zied for a cooking class, where the two sliced and diced, before hashing out some new issues. Emma felt slighted that Zied hadn’t planned on introducing her to his family while she was in town, and wondered if he was hiding anything. She revealed that she had stalked his instagram, finding that he had been talking to 1000s of other women on the very same international dating app they had met on. Zied denied such claims, and in turn asked Emma why she had lied about her relationship status when the two had first met. It kind of seemed doomed from the first five minutes, I feel like Emma should just go on Moroccan Tinder and try her luck with another skinny slimy blinky guy before she has to go back to LALA land.