90 Day; Hunt For Love Season 1 Episode 5

Jennifer and Corny were still having their very staged conversation by the pool, when Cole magically appeared. He apologized for “shushing” Jennifer during the whole Tim fight, as he tried desperately to worm his way back into her good graces. Later that night, all of the hopeless singles went to a workshop with the “dating experts” where they discussed their love languages. It appeared that Corni and Sojaboy seemed to sync up on a lot of core issues, such as if they would go “dey” for the person they loved, and if money was more important than love in a relationship. Coltee felt crushed seeing Corni’s value on the money factor, being that he currently had none (One point Sojaboy). Tiffany and Carlo went on another date together, this time to an “Ancient Mayan Clay Bath” thing (aka smearing something that looked like it came out of a dog after eating Taco Bell all over each other in an erotic way). Things seemed to be going well, until Tiffani mentioned the fact that she had 2 kids with Ronald Ma’Boy back in South Africa, and poor Carlo looked like a deer in headlights….that someone defecated on. Rob and Jennifer got to spend some time together discussing their previous evening of playing “Mario Kart”. Although they agreed they have chemistry, the two seemed to still be feeling each other out (I guess their romantic evening wasn’t enough “feeling” for them..). Rob revealed that he was still technically married to Sophie, which was a bit concerning to Jen, who still considered trying to patch things up with pirate-shirt Cole.

Next thing ya know, it was time for the singles to play another pointless dating game. They met up on the beach and were paired up. Tim looked as enthused as ever in his furry bucket hat, as he was partnered with crazy Elise, the faux Miami model/Rob’s stalker. He was tasked with trying to pop a water balloon against her butt using his best hip-thrust motion. Needless to say, their team didn’t win, but Tim felt like he at least had as much fun as he’s capable of.  There were a series of stupid activities, and ultimately the 2 winning teams had to go head to head in a “kiss off” competition. 
Everyone had to watch as Chantal and Jennifer had to kiss, as well as Elise and some other civilian woman. Both female pairings put on quite the show, and everyone got a participation trophy. The girl on girl kissing escapade made Chantal question her sexuality even more, since she claimed it was the “best makeout session” she had ever had (Sorry, Pedro. You were too busy playing video games to loveee me Chantal properly). 

Each kissing contest participant got to pick someone for a special “champagne date” with the person of their choosing. Jen decided to pick Cole over Rob, as she probably had enough Mario Kart. But don’t worry, Mr. The Knob wasn’t left out in the cold, as Chantal decided to choose him for her own date. Looney Tune Elise chose a date with Rocky (Tiffany’s civilian crush), and they didn’t even bother to show the other plain Jane who won, because I think it was the first time she even had screen time. .

During the champagne date Jen batted her eyelashes once again at Cole, claiming she hadn’t yet determined who she would like to focus her energy on, especially since she had yet to kiss either man-option (The lie detector determined……That was a LIE!)

 Next week looks like more love triangle action, but this time much more confusing, as Corni takes a liking to Coltee while Sojaboy circles Del Boca Vista, Phase 3, looking for a new love interest.