90 Day Fiance; Season 11 Episode 17

Stevi & Mahdi:
Back to the question that never gets answered…. Stevi was now crying, instead of answering point blank if she was attracted to women or not. After dragging this out for weeks, she finally told Mahdi she only likes hairy Iranian men, and not the rest of the haram. Though he felt relieved, he explained that her delayed answer made him feel lonely (His “lonely” face looks much like his happy, angry, sad, confused, and surprised faces).
Since they finally clarified that Stevi didn’t like other Stevis, it was finally time to get ready for the wedding. Stevi ordered her dress the day before, which luckily arrived just in time for the wedding day, perfect! As she sat down to have her hair and makeup done, she discussed all of the Mahdi/Saeed drama with her gal pals….instead of trying on her wedding dress. WHY DIDN’T SHE TRY ON HER WEDDING DRESS?!?
As Mahdi got ready with his friend Saeed, he was happy to report that Stevi confirmed her heterosexuality. Saeed continued to try and stir the pot, with his fun, 80’s inspired button down shirt having more personality than both the man wearing it and the groom. I just hope the 80’s shirt is coming to the wedding, because it’ll definitely need a little excitement the way these two have been going.

Shekinah & The Sarper Image:

Sarper was still hiding out in the coffee shop, having a panic attack about his upcoming wedding. He just discovered that Shekina had a LoJack on his keychain and was now concerned about their trust issues. Shekinah brought up the prenup idea again, which didn’t help the whole “trust issue” situation. Sarpie looked like a deer in headlights, as he tried to have Shekinah understand his anxiety about marriage, due to his previous experience. In her calm, monotone voice, she reiterated that they had to go through with the wedding, or else he’d have to go back to being a Turkish delight.
It seemed as though Shekinah was able to talk Sarper off the ledge and the two moved forward with their wedding plans. They arrived at their venue, a fancy hotel room, where they were to be “Wed in Bed”. Because it rhymes. Immediately Shekinah was having her own panic attack, as the room wasn’t exactly what she was promised. She had wanted a bed with good lighting placed strategically underneath fancy chandeliers, and was freaking out over the current set up of the room. She burst out into tears (Which is very hard for her to do), as Sarper worked to comfort her. Though he felt bad she was upset, he was more bothered by the fact that she hadn’t cried when he went “missing” but could manage to squeeze out a tear over the hotel’s lack of feng shui. Ultimately Shekinah’s friend/Bedd-ing coordinator came to the hotel, got the staff to move the stupid bed to the chandelier placement, and saved the special day. The two spent the rest of the night “de stressing” with all kinds of space aged thermo nuclear laser beam treatments that Shekinah pulled out of her aesthetician bag of tricks. They’re wedding location is so multifaceted.

Matt, Amani & Any (Nuthin But Thrupple):

It was the thrupple’s last day as a dynamic threesome, as they frolicked amongst the agave plants and took colorful Instagram photos. They stopped their reindeer games and headed to a pretty picturesque stone church to discuss all of the fun wedding possibilities they could have joining legally as a party of 3. Then came the serious discussion; Would Any be marrying Amani or Matt?? After careful deliberation, BrendAny chose Matt, citing that the threesome would need one, strong man (Which is even more confusing. Maybe Sarper could give him Alpha Male lessons). Amani felt devastated, as she was hoping to indulge her bisexual tendencies, and retain her title of “thrupple boss”.
Back at the hotel, the reality of BrendAny’s decision began to set in, as Amani pretended to be okay with it. She poured three glasses of bubbly as they all sat in their room’s thrupple-sized jacuzzi, ready to have a celebratory slice of cake. Though she was doing her best to go with the flow, she couldn’t help but express her disappointment with Any’s decision, feeling like she failed a college exam. Any explained she picked Matt to balance the power amongst them, citing that Amani tends to explode with dramatic reactions. As if on cue, Amani began to spiral, making more and more passive aggressive comments, leading up to a major screaming match, seen in previews next week. Are we still thruppling on the last episode?? I swore they’d be gone by episode 3.

Greg & Joan:
Greg was back on the couch, freaking out over his snafu with the wedding timing. He sent out invitations with the arrival time of 6:30 when that was the actual ceremony time, and now worried that guests would arrive during Joan’s big walk down the aisle. Of course in reality this is a bit of a non-issue, as Joan could just wait 15 minutes later to walk out and the show would still go on, but I guess we needed more to the story. After Mama Lucille and Greg stress-dialed all 40 guests, they seemed to have things straightened out. Round of applause for Mama Lucille for kibbitzing like a pro!
Then we saw Joan head to a salon where she had her hair and makeup done, getting wedding-ready. After primping and curling, she looked great and headed back to the BNB where Greg’s friend Laura waited to help her into her dress. Back at the house, Mama Lucille did her own hair and makeup as she complimented Greg on his wedding look, having a touching mother-son moment.
It was finally time to head to Macaroni Manor, where the guests had all arrived at the appropriate time, and the show was about to begin. Joan was accompanied down the aisle by Greg’s father, as the tears began to flow. They both looked great as they read their vows, and sealed their 90 day deal. The wedding looked to be a good time, I just hope they enjoy the dutch oven I got them….. (Thought it was better for baking sourdough than my usual gift of a toaster. I threw the receipt in the chicken coop so they’d better like it).

Mark & Mina (and no sign of baby Pinta Santa Maria):
Mina was still devastated after finding out that her son Clayton’s Visa wouldn’t be approved until after the wedding, meaning he wouldn’t be able to attend. Due to the terms of her own Visa, she ultimately decided to go through with the wedding anyway, especially after Mark reassured her that Clayton would be coming to the USA permanently, very soon.
Since the wedding was fast approaching, Mina had to make the dreaded phone call to her son, who she was so worried about disappointing. He was very upset to hear his title of “ring bearer” was being revoked, which pulled at everyone’s heart strings. She did her best to reassure him that she loved and missed him, and that they’d be together again soon. The only one who shouldn’t be attending this wedding is the wig. I’m crossing my fingers that someone stole it for the wedding day.

Shawn & DougAlliya:
After an hour and 45 minutes of waiting in the heat, Shawn had finally left the altar, as pissed off as his face would allow him to be. Alliya was waiting at the top of her stairs in her “wedding dress”, though it seemed that she was possibly missing the slip that went underneath the completely sheer, rhinestoned gown, exposing her bridal white thong. Shawn agreed to go through with the legal portion of the ceremony for the sake of the Visa, killing all of the romance and meaning. Shawn rushed their officiant along so the poor wedding guests (especially his injured mother) could stop shvitzing and get to the comfort of the reception. Alliya looked slightly devastated, feeling like her big day was ruined by Shawn’s bad attitude and indifference. There was an uncomfortable awkwardness at the reception, as they attempted to “make the best of it” rather than having the day be the best day of their lives. For being two hours late, I was expecting more dress and better hair.