90 Day-Hunt For Love; Season 1 Episode 2

The second episode of this masterpiece opened with a “Flirting 101” class taught by an unofficial dating coach, Tanya. She began by having a makeshift restaurant set up, using Usman to act as a flirting professional. Since he mentioned his illustrious Nigerian singing career, his date requested a personalized song. He seemed to reuse one of his hits “I love you babygirrrrl _____(insert date’s name her)”, which didn’t go over too well. The dating coach gave him an A for effort, but told him not to make it all about himself. And she said that to an international super star. Corni was up next, paired up with a civilian named Chad, as she sat down at the pretend restaurant nervously. There was a lot of awkward giggling and long uncomfortable pauses as she and Chad’s date read more as an interview. Colt took his turn, bombing his mock date by asking her if she’d ever consider a nipple piercing (Which is more of a second or third date topic). Tiffany, who was extra nervous, happened to be at the head of the class, as she showcased her flirtation skills with her civilian. After class, she and her faux date Carlo went to take their newly learned skills to the bar. They seemed to have hit it off, as Carlo revealed he was recently learning Tiffany’s native Espanol (And NOT from me. Translating for Kenny is enough, thanks).

Back in the hot tub speed dating class, Chantal was still floating around entertaining more potential suitors. During her second date of the class, she expressed her love of her career (Injecting Botox and filler) and even gave him a free evaluation of his wrinkles. Tim was next to hit the hot tub, nervous to take off his shirt and even more nervous about having to hot tub with Jennifer. She stared off into the distance, while attempted some kind of truce. Unfortunately for Timony Cricket (He always reminded me of Jiminy Cricket), Jennifer hopped out of the tub, not even finishing out the full 2 minute time slot. Rob was next in Elise’s hot tub, aka the woman who sucked his face off within 10 minutes of the retreat. She immediately showed her crazy card, as she continued to stare at Rob like he was prey. Rob escaped Elise’s clutches and wound up in Jennifer’s bath tub, where she flirtatiously lured him in with her tooth grin and flippy ponytail. He now realized he was going to have to shake off Elise so he could go after Jennifer. After all of the classes were out, the crew went out to hang at the bar.

Usman unleashed his frustrations with Chantal, as they all mingled and drank. Rob was immediately confronted by Elise, who seemed like a crazy person, as she insinuated he was trying to sleep with her after their first over the top encounter. She was mostly upset that Rob had rated their hot tub date as a 3 out of 10, which was the same rating he gave to all of the hot tub ladies. Jennifer was being courted by Cole, a 28 year old in a pirate shirt, which seemed to bother Rob, since he had her on his radar. Coltee started having a little crush on Corni, who was still in this confusing loop with Sojaboy. Tiffany seemed to have spent the rest of the night with her flirtation classmate, who walked her “home” to her hotel room. The following morning Usman asked Corni out for a breakfast date, as he tried his best to win her over. Luckily for the Sojaboy, Corni’s love language is “gossip” as he told her all about the whole Jennifer and Tim stripclub business. She felt it was obviously her job to spread the information, and planned on telling Tim first.

I’m still not sure where any of this is going, but th Corni/Usman match up is beyond confusing, as she is way too young for him (He’s a 55+ kinda guy) and I can’t even imagine what they would ever talk about. The Coltee/Corni scenario has much more of a chance, as they’re both fairly ditsy and like to drink. Rob is going to have to carry pepper spray from now on, as I’m pretty sure he’s involved with a stage 5 clinger who is way too interested in discussing her own a$$ and its activities publicly.