90 Day Fiance; Season 11 Episode 9

Shekinah & The Sarper Image:

This week Sarpie revealed his secret life ambition- Stand up comedy. Shekinah indulged him by acting as the audience while Sarper ranted and raved about the differences between men and women. Though he tried to pile on the Sarper charm, between his thick accent and antiquated anecdotes, he missed the mark. The comedy was a welcome distraction for their nerves, as it was finally the big day for Sarper to meet Shekinah’s daughter, Sophie.
In an attempt to be “StepSarper of the Year”, he decided to book a whale watching cruise for their first meeting activity. The couple met up with Sophie at the dock, where they excitedly boarded the vessel. They all seemed to be getting along, having fun looking at the seals……. that was until the water got choppy and everyone got seasick. Sophie was laying down on the inside of the boat with Shekinah trying to comfort her while Sarper inhaled a paper bag to avoid “blowing” his first impression all over the place. Once they returned to dry land, Sarper apologized for the poor choice of activity, and hoped Sophie might like him anyway. She mentioned his negative encounter with her other family members (You know, calling Shekinah’s sister “Shariah” a b*tch while she was in Turkey) and hoped Sarper would work hard to repair those relationships before the wedding bells chimed. Hopefully Sarper will get a refund for the “tilt-o-whirl” ride tickets he had bought to impress Sister Shekinah next week.

The Mina, The Pinta, and The Baby Maria (And Mark…):

After the somewhat disastrous trip to North Carolina, Mark flew his family of three down to Florida so they could meet up with his friend Diana in her boutique. Diana was apparently an old friend of Mark’s, who had set him up in the past with her best friend/ his Ex-girlfriend, Jade.
Mark, Mina, and Baby Santa Maria popped into the store to pursue the wares, ultimately leaving Diana and Mina alone to talk. Diana let Mina know the truth about Mark’s past relationship with Jade, including some “never before heard” details about them living together, and Jade calling things off after catching Mark talking to other women. Mina seemed to trust Diana for some reason, and wanted to hear more details about this other side to Mark before things went any further. 
After Mark returned to pick her up from the shopping spree, Mina revealed her latest new brief. Mark denied living with Jade, let alone cheating on her, and claimed his relationship with Mina was completely different. 
Nevertheless, Mina felt it was important to meet with Jade herself to compare notes. After obtaining her phone number from Diana, Mina sent her a message and set up a date for coffee. She put herself together better than she had in the last 4 episodes to leave Mark with Baby Santa-Maria (who was still probably duct taped to the back seat) so she could meet with Jade. 
Hopefully next week we will get to see the two doppelgangers face to face. 

Stevi & Mahdi:

This week the couple met up with Stevi’s friends Meagan and Adam to take a glassblowing class (Which is definitely illegal in Iran. Even the word “blowing” can get you arrested). Needless to say Mahdi seemed terrified (…… or maybe that was just his face). He did however manage to overcome his fears and forced himself a blow glass with the best of ‘em. The activity seemed somewhat pointless but was more or less just a chance for him to meet her best friends so they could experience his skittish blank staring like the rest of us. 
Next on the agenda was a little bonding experience for Mahdi and Father Stevi; A good ole fashioned Monster Truck Show! (Monster Truck shows are a jailable offense in Iran, but I’m not sure why. I don’t think it’s the noise or the crushing, I think it’s just because they love jail). Mahdi looked stunned as ever as he inserted his ear plugs, choked down some stale nachos, and watched the show. He was a bit confused, however, during the national anthem, as this song was never sung when he had previously seen any American flags (But that was mostly because they were on fire). He surprisingly was unimpressed by the spills and thrills, claiming it seemed like an activity for “retirement age”.
As the unlikely pair headed back to the car, Mahdi brought up the idea of re-proposing to Stevi, asking for her father’s blessing. Father Stevie had his reservations, especially since Mahdi had seemed so homesick and had already mentioned potentially wanting to go back (I guess he misses the threat of jail). Ultimately Father S figured “Eh, I might die any day now, what the hell!” and decided to give the marriage his blessing. Hopefully they’ll get married on the front lawn with all of the chain saws and pitchforks, just in case things don’t work out. 

Matt, Amani & Any (Nuthin’ But Thrupple):

The morning after the winery fight, there were only 2 in the bed and the little big-booibied one said “Roll Over! Roll Over!” So they all rolled over and Any fell out. 
She had been sentenced to the couch after the couple found out that she had lied to her family about the thruppleship. 
Matt suggested he and Amani get breakfast alone, leaving Any in a “Time out”. They headed over to a local restaurant for a little smack talk and desayuno (That’s “breakfast” Kenny…I can’t believe I’m still explaining this to you), Amani and Matt returned to the hotel room ready to confront Any. Amani came on strong, blaming her vineyard freakout on the fact that she didn’t want to be anyone’s “Secret”. Any accused her of being a crazy person, but ultimately, they all seemed to agree to give things a bit more time. The segment ended in a “thrupple huddle”, with a few jokes about having a “quickie” to smooth things over. 
Previews for next week look like the plot thickens, when ⅔’s of the trio meet Any’s “Agent”, who reveals her real name is Brenda (Which does not sound like someone you’d want in a thrupple. Just sayin’….)

Greg & Joan:

Back on my island… Joan was giving Greg a little fitness coaching to make sure he was in shape for the wedding. Joan was excited to get wedding-ready, though she still maintained her threat of moving back to Uganda if Greg couldn’t bring home the (sour)dough. 
Greg revealed the breaking news that he had been offered an interview for a state job via email. While Joan was hopeful, she was firm in her stance that Greg better get working asap or else “I go Uganda” (Such a versatile threat…it works for every country). 

Shawn & Dougalliyah:

This week Alliya was sporting a long blonde weave, reminiscent of Alicia Silverstone in the movie “Clueless” (Which of course came out before she was born). She was meeting up at a flower market with her friend Jackie, who is a bit critical of Shawn, to say the least. Jackie (Who looked like she was in need of a diaper change) toured the flower market with Alliya, hoping to find the perfect wedding bouquet. As they shopped and gabbed, Alliya revealed that she was hoping to kick her Alliyah-hood up a notch by getting a boob job, but wondered how Shawn would feel. As we learned from the last season and now 9 episodes of this one, she felt insecure about Shawn’s attraction to her new persona, even though he cultivated it himself and fed it weave. Yawn. 

Back in the velociraptor themed kitchen, Shawn was busy whipping up a tempting shmear for his company, Jackie. He gave her a tour of the house, and she was actually impressed by his glass encased Streisand dresses. As they sat down to dine, she was shocked to hear that Shawn’s three children had no idea he was getting married, let alone to whom. She asked a lot of tough questions, all of which I paid no attention to, because I could not be less interested in them if I tried. I’m going to mail Shawn a cardboard cutout of Jeff Goldblum for his kitchen, though. I think the “chaos theory” would really tie the room together.