90 Day Fiancé; Season 11 Episode 8

Shekinah &The Sarper Image:

Sarper was reflecting on last week’s disastrous dinner with the French Baguette. Shekinah was very proud of the former hot head’s self control, especially since it was almost time for him to meet her daughter, Sophie (Not the one who’s always running away from Rob the Knob.. a new one).
They headed out to Daughter Sophie’s boarding school so she could meet her new, modern stepfather. Shekinah was afraid that Sophie’s impression of her new future SarpFather had already been tarnished, being that Sarper had been previously very rude to her sister upon her visit to Turkey.
Sophie appeared on screen just in time to join her mom for a pedicure. As they chatted away, Shekinah mentioned the importance of her meeting Sarpie, even if it felt a bit “too soon” due to the 90 Day deadline. Sophie agreed to meet him, but made no promises about giving her blessing (Though let’s be honest…who wouldn’t love a modern Sarper?!)

Matt, Amani & Any (“Nuthin’ But Thrupple”):

The dynamic trio were back this week, touring Mexico in an adorable classic car with an even cuter driver named Eddie. He pried into the ins and outs of thrupplehood, asking questions about their newly set rules. (I feel like Amani coordinated and over produced this entire segment to appear “classy”) The threesome went to a winery, all holding hands (which makes for a really awkward walking situation) as they “cheersed” to their ridiculous relationship. While they sat and sipped and snacked on their sexy wine and cheese platter, Any revealed that she wasn’t planning on telling her parents about their three way partnership until after she left the country. Hearing that she was being kept a secret set Amani off, causing her to run off in a fit of hysterics. Any attempted to calm her down, but wound up feeling like Amani was trying to control her (And usually it’s “Mens doesn’t control me” but today it’s “womens” too. Equal opportunity). Any decided to comfort Amani, taking her off to the side to give her a hug, and reassure her that she was her favorite in thruppleworld, throwing Matt to the wolves. Amani questioned if Any was just trying to tell her what she wanted to hear, and questioned if she would be able to turn a “hoe” into a housewife….like she did to Matt.

Stevi & Mahdi:

This week the couple took a trip to Mahdi’s first coed gym. Of course he thought about how he could possibly be arrested for the workout session, but decided to go through with the haram anyway. He figured he’d need to get used to working with women at the gym since he aspired to be a personal trainer (A common 90 Day career path). Stevi was somewhat concerned with the idea of Mahdi’s “deer in headlights” patented stare creeping out women in stretch pants all day, and if he’d be meeting new ladies, but felt reassured by his awkward straightforwardness. Mahdi then questioned if Stevi herself was attracted to women at the gym, being that she paints boobie pictures. She answered rather vaguely, stating to be attracted to “him”, but not denying any attraction to women. Mahdi saw this as a red flag, as he worried she would want to be with a woman down the line.

Once back at the house, Stevi lit a few candles to set the mood for a romantic painting date session. She plied Mahdi with cheap wine as she attempted to paint him like one of her French ladies (Drinking wine was another haram…he’s already been theoretically arrested 25 times). As they painted, Mahdi broached the topic of pushing up the wedding date in order to get a better deal on the Green Card price, since it was about to go up by $2000. Stevi felt like his rush to get married was questionable, especially since he had originally seemed hesitant and homesick when he had first arrived. I just hope he can get a refund on his K1 Visa Groupon.

Mina, Pinta, & Baby Santa Maria (….And Mark):

Back on Bald Head Island (Where Gino is the Mayor and treasurer), Mina was still pouting in a lawn chair by herself, when Mark finally decided to comfort her. She felt like the Family Mark was ganging up on her, and she was all alone, so far away from her country. Mother Mark came over to help her socially inept son reassure his bride to be that everyone was concerned and just looking out for Mark’s best interests. Mina wiped her streaky mascara laden tears to the side and put on her best fake smile, trying to smooth over the situation. Mark’s daughter Jordyn appeared, attempting to apologize while simultaneously asking if she could be reinvited to her dad’s wedding. Mina answered with a sad little “Of course”, though she still felt that Jordan was part snake. And baby Maria? She was zip tied to a stroller that also sometimes is used as a hang glider.

Shawn & Dougalliya:

After a great night, Alliya was laying around in Shawn’s Craftmatic adjustable bed, slow to start her day. She finally hit the “eject” button and got up to brush her teeth, but was stopped in her tracks by her germophobia. Apparently she had left her toothbrush out on the counter, and could not stop obsessing about all of the millions of toilet germs that probably landed on it during the night. She demanded they go to the drug store to buy a new one, which led her to think of other “icky” germs she might be contracting. Alliya picked up a home “STD” test, asking if Shawn would test himself being that they are in an open relationship (Seems a bit ickier than the toothbrush…). Shawn admitted that he might want to keep things open if Alliya decided to transition fully, as he’d miss out on some of her original hardware. And here we go with the “Does he fully accept Alliya” storyline. Please….make it stop. Barabra Streisand herself would want it to stop.

Jessica & Juantanamera:

Jessica went to one of the 6 local bars to meet up with her bestie, Megan to discuss the infamous bar scene from two weeks ago. Megan was even more upset about the Juan cheating scandal than perhaps Jessica was, because she has a little “Single White Female” thing going on. Jessica reassured her that it would all be okay, while Megan sobbed over something that had nothing to do with her really. But I get it, Torrington, Wyoming (Though practically the same as a Caribbean Cruise) is a little boring, and one tends to get caught up in the only scandal that comes their way. I guess they don’t have cable, and only get local channels like “CPN” (Cow Poop Network).