90 Day Fiance; Season 11 Episode 7

Shekinah & The Sarper Image:

Shekinah had a client coming over for a face-zapping so she sent Sarper out to wander the streets alone. He stopped on a park bench to video chat with his parents, where they expressed their concern about their little Sarpiekins not being treated right. Sarper reassured them that he was trying to give his new life a chance for the sake of love, though they urged him to stand his ground.
Meanwhile, back at the “Live/Work” space… Shekinah welcomed her client for the day, having her put on a robe to get more comfortable. The robe must have made her extremely loose, as she began blabbing on about her personal life including intimate details. This justified Shekinah’s decision to make Sarper leave during work hours (Though she should be more concerned about the whole world hearing her client’s details rather than just Sarper. I’d think Sarps would have had some pretty good advice for that woman’s lovelife. Clients could be getting a two for 1 deal).
Later on Shekinah allowed Sarper back in the house, but only so he could get all dolled up for dinner plans with her ridiculous group of friends.
Once at dinner, Shekinah’s friend Dan tried to make Sarper uncomfortable by bringing up he and Shekinah’s past dating history. He admitted that he had thought the relationship with Sarper would never last, and hoped he’d be able to rekindle things with Shekinah. Of course this put Sarpie’s Alpha Male instincts into overdrive, as he felt like climbing across the table and having a Zoolander caliber pretty-man fight with Dan. Luckily for Dan, Sarper seemed to have reformed his bad boy ways, and the two resorted to exchanging sarcastic digs at each other across the table. Eventually Dan got annoyed and left, leaving everyone at the table’s Botox infused faces in a more stunned appearance than before.

Mark & Mina:

Back in North Carolina, Mark and Mina were scowling for the entire drive to catch the ferry to “Bald Head Island” (Named after its founder, Gino), while baby Maria sat strapped into a pool float in the backseat. Mark tried to encourage Mina to make the best of their vacation, despite her recent fight with his daughter, Jordan, the “snake”. He was hoping she would be able to get to know his family a bit better once they arrived at his brother’s house, as they did not have the best impression of her from the infamous Paris Baptism trip the year before.
The family of 3 met up with Jordan and her finance for the short boat ride to the island, where the tension was thick. Jordan finally broke the ice by offering a truce with Mina, and claimed to want to get to know her new baby sister. Mina reluctantly accepted, though she still didn’t feel that Jordan was trustworthy. She noticed Jordan and her poor bystander fiancé racing off as soon a the boat had docked, figuring they wanted to be the first to arrive at the family home so they could gossip about her mean, wicked stepmother.
Mark, Mina, and baby Maria took a while heading to the house in a golf cart (with Maria zip tied to the hubcap), as Mina confessed she still thought Jordan was a “snake”. For the sake of peace, Mark asked his mon amour to stop calling his daughter names, and try her best to get along.
At the house, it seemed that Jordan didn’t even need to talk badly about Mina, as the rest of the family had experienced her sparkling personality in Paris and had already made up their minds. Nevertheless, they politely welcomed her, even though they felt as though Mark was blinding himself to the obvious red flags. Mark’s younger brother tried to privately point out some of the obvious concerns about the relationship, which somehow Mark hadn’t thought about (I guess his pilot head is always up in the clouds).
Once everyone was together, having a nice time and playing with a free-range baby Maria, someone had to bring up the topic of a “prenush” agreement. Mark calmly chimed in, claiming the couple had spoken about this previously, while Mina seemed confused and offended, eventually running off in tears. She explained to the cameras “Je ne sais pas” about the prenush (That means she didn’t know about it, Kenny. I shouldn’t expect you to know French when you’re still so clueless about Spanish), and couldn’t understand why Mark would talk about it so casually in front of his family. Poor Mina needs to high tail it off of Bald Head Island and get some makeup remover.

Greg & Joan:

Aside from being an unemployed, broke, messy and sweaty part time bread maker, Greg is also apparently into computer games. He asked Joan for a little alone time to play, so she decided to go out back and video call her family in Uganda. Just to add a little stress to her already disenchanting new life, the Family Joan wanted to know when Greg planned to pay her dowry (Hopefully they’ll accept a few loaves of sourdough in the place of a goat).
After his gaming session, Greg brought Joan out back to tend to their yard birds…aka, chickens (aka free eggs during these high inflationary times, especially important for making baked goods with plumber fingers). Joan was hoping they could eat one of the chickens, so she’d feel more at home, but no such luck. Since mother Greg went out for the afternoon, the two love birds ran upstairs to see if Greg could get any sweatier.
They emerged an hour later, heading out to the backyard in their most Hugh Hefner bathrobes to water the garden. Joan made it known that she did not plan on living with their roommate for much longer, or else she was getting a one way ticket back to Uganda (Where you eat the chickens in your yard). She then brought up the infamous bride price, which for her breaks down to 15 cows (or $3,000, roughly. She’s expensive). Greg was feeling the mounting pressure, and knew he’d need to get a job if he wanted to make things work. He was a bit concerned, however, by Joan’s ultimatum, as she didn’t seem to mind his carefree mama’s boy lifestyle while the two were long distance. I guess things got more complicated once she moved, being that two’s company and three’s a…..thrupple. (Who thankfully we were spared from this week).

Shawn & DougAlliya:

The newly reunited couple met up with Shawn’s friend Angela at the gayest of gay restaurants, Hamburger Mary’s to play some drag queen bingo. Shawn had told Angela about his relationship with Douglas (turned Alliya), but had kept many of the details close to his sparkly Bob Mackie vest. As the three spoke, DoughAlliya explained she felt uncomfortable being called by he “D” word, as this was her “dead name” and a life she wishes to move on from.
The next day Shawn took Alliya shopping for non-naked clothes. During the shopping excursion Dougalliya complained about Shawn and friends using the first half of her name, feeling like it was disrespectful. Shawn tried to brush it off, claiming that Douglas was a big part of Alliya’s story, and she was being a bit ridiculous to pretend like that person never existed. They went back to the eclectic memorabilia palace where Shawn tried to prove to Dougalliya that he was okay with just the Alliya portion. He presented her with a homemade scrapbook made of the finest Michael’s Arts & Crafts foam sparkle letters, depicting the love story of Shawn and Alliya, leaving Douglas out of the picture. Dougalliya was touched by the gesture, and it appeared that led to Shawn being touched that night in return. Previews for next week look like Shawn is still not fully committed to the Alliya portion of Dougalliya, as he was still looking to be in an open relationship. Unless we’re looking at his weird home decor, I’m very uninterested….

Jessica & JaunTunAmerica:

Back in BOREington, Wyoming, Jessica and Juan were attempting to make peace after their fight the other night at the bar. They dropped off the cow-poop brothers, which allowed them to speak freely about their infidelities. Juan tried to offset his physical cheating by claiming to have been hurt by Jessica’s emotional affair, which obviously did not cancel each other out. Jessica expressed her need for Juan to want to live in the middle of nowhere with 3 wildling children instead of life on a party cruise, which Juan hesitantly agreed to. Previews for next week show Jessica’s best friend being more upset about Juan’s infidelity than anyone else. That girl needs to wake up and smell the cow poop, she’s not part of a thrupple! (Oh no I said it twice…one more time and they’ll appear!)