The Last Resort; Season 2 Episode 1

Well it’s time for another round of 90 Day couples’ therapy, but this time in a beautiful desert setting. The cast this go-around is a hodgepodge of 90 Day couples, old and new. Some you may recognize, and some with new unrecognizable faces. So far the roster includes; Stacey & Florian (of Silva Sister fame), the inescapable Jasmine & GeeKnow , Nutalie & Jush (Turning things into Fatal Attraction 2), Sophie & Rob the Knob who are just there for the indoor plumbing, Ariella & BiniBiniyumyum (Who had been memory holed), Brandan & Julia who are winning the “most normal” title so far, and hopefully not Ed.

Jasmania & GeeKnow arrived on site first, recapping their painful bipolar romance as if we hadn’t suffered through it for the last 3 years. They admitted their one year marriage is already at its breaking point and were coming to see if it could be salvaged. Gino pushed a huge cart full of luggage (which I’m sure contained his menagerie of hats) as the two argued all the way to their suite. Jasmine and Gino were trying to decide if they could manage to share a bed, since that hadn’t happened in the past 8 months.

Next up was Natalie, who is still on again/off again with her three year boy toy, Josh. They reunited at the resort seeming excited to see each other, though Natalie was ….well, still Natalie. Her crazy eyes were bulging exclusively for “Jush” as she painfully flirted with him and acted like a lovestruck teenager (Despite being “done” with him on the last season). She admired the resort’s astroturf as she continued trying to pressure Jush into letting her visit his nearby Arizona home…..which, he still hasn’t done in the three years they’ve known each other. (I guess he didn’t want her boiling any bunnies in his kitchen).
Then there were Stacey and Florian, who were sporting the new House of Eleven “Rhinestone Cowboy” collection, because Stacey wanted to match her surroundings. It seems her biggest complaint this season is that the half-corpse Florian can’t keep up with her spitfire personality. Stace explained that after a recent health scare, Flo was acting more distant and aloof than ever, making her question if their relationship could really stand the test of time. The two headed to their hotel room where Stacey just had to make sexual gestures as she tested out their rather bouncy bed. She warned Florian not to party away their time at the retreat…because as you can tell from his expressionless face, Florian is quite the life of the party!
Rob the Knob appeared on screen applying sunscreen to a brunette Sophie, as the two seemed open to working on their recently rekindled marriage. Brandan and Julia rode up at high-noon, claiming their marriage had gotten a bit stale and hoping they could shake things up. Ariella showed up separately from Bini, explaining that their marriage was pretty much over. Though they had been struggling since he had moved to the US, they finally hit an all time low when she found evidence that he had been cheating.

The couples all met up at the bar, wasting no time to introduce and reintroduce themselves to each other. Julia dreaded seeing Natalie (as most do), since they had gotten into a fight at their last Tell All. She attempted to pull Nutalie aside to air out their past grievances, which started with Natalie asking if Julia was pregnant, due to her noticeable weight gain. Julia tried to bite her tongue in the name of peace, as the girls gossiped about the other attendees. Biniyam finally arrived, greeting the rest of the cast first before offering Ari a lukewarm handshake. She was disgusted, awkwardly instructing him on how to give a hug while everyone else looked on and whispered. Sophie revealed that “Jush” had been sending her messages on Instagram, inviting her to party with him, which could cause a Natalie nightmare situation. Bini was quick to ask Ari for the passwords to his social media, since she had blocked him when finding photos of him kissing another woman. Ari ran away crying, as she was comforted by none other than Florian, who is a compassionate corpse.
They all mosied over to the pool where the 3 therapists were ready to get the party started. Julia and Brandan spoke first, saying they would like to rekindle their romantic life, which struck a nerve with Jasmine. She spoke next, explaining that the wild and exciting GeeKnow she met is now a distant memory. Gino claimed Jasmine has been going out for the night without telling him who or where she is with, leaving him to question if she still wants to be with the Mad Hatter. Sophie and Rob came to annoy everyone with their hopeless situation, while Natalie came to speak in riddles like a bridge troll, contemplating who she will let pass if they answer correctly. All in all, it looks like it should be a fairly crazy season with a lot of drama between a wide range of castmates. In a preview, Darcey makes an appearance, so at least it will be fun to see which Silva twin has enough feeling in their face to squeeze out a tear.