90 Day Fiancé- Before the 90 Days; Season 7 Episode 6

Tigerlily & Adenoids:

It was the morning after the “Festival Adnon” and the newlyweds awoke looking tired and disheveled. Now that they were officially married, the two were heading off to the city of Petra, along with their chaperones; The Glamsquad and Brother Thaer. Before any traveling could take place, Tigerlily needed her beauty team to tame her tangled weave and make her look her best. Adnon, on the other hand, got dressed so quickly that he actually forgot to button like half of his shirt. Adenoids went down to the car to wait for his bride with his brother, unaware that it would be a 4 hour ordeal (Only for her to appear looking exactly the same but with slightly brushed hair).

As all 5 people rode off towards their mutual honeymoon, Adnon and his brother were arguing over Tigerlily’s inappropriate outfit. It seems the long sleeved shirt with slight cleavage and belly showing was on the “haram” list (But who has another 4 hours for her to change?!) Tigerlily claimed to be willing to conform to Adnon’s outfit requests going forward, asking that he approve them before she leaves the house. She did, however, start to feel a bit like there was a double standard, seeing that Adnon’s shirt was exposing his freshly waxed chest for all of Jordan to see. Once in Petra, it was time for Glamsquad member Cruz to give Tigerlily another signature hairstyle, as the other Glamfairy gave them all magical crystal necklaces to clear their energy. As they loaded into the car, Adnon shook Glamfairy Shay’s hand, which finally made Tigerlily realize there was no level playing field, since she was not allowed to shake men’s hands, because mens hands doesn’t control me. She continued to pout and yell in the baby voice, as Adnon was embarrassed that the whole carload got to witness their marital issues. Eventually Tigerlily got out of the car and walked away alone and annoyed. As Glamsquad Member Cruz says, “Mess with the Lily and then you get the Tiger”. (Don’t worry, Adnon. She won’t go far….she can’t even brush her own hair).

Chidi Chidi no Bang Bang & RayNay:

Rayne guided Chidi all the way to see an eye specialist, because apparently after the apple/desk experiences, he never saw a doctor. She admitted it would be annoying to have to try harder to make herself look more presentable- Should a doctor be able to save his vision by some miracle, but felt it was worth a shot. (I’s definitely appreciate it if for no other reason than I’m sick of the “bright light” segments where we see things “from his perspective”). Unfortunately they learned that Chidi’s situation was a mixture of cataracts and glaucoma, and is untreatable (Though they could always try doing things in reverse like the old cartoons…. Maybe if someone slams his head against a desk and throws an apple at him he’ll magically be cured).

Back at the house, Rayne was pecking Chidi’s ears off discussing her love of chickens, once again, hoping to take his mind off of his bad news. Their compelling conversation was interrupted by Sister Chidi, who called them over for a traditional Nigerian dinner she had prepared. They all sat down, washing their hands, which would serve as utensils for the evening’s feast. As she choked down the family meal, RayNay could sense her future sister in law giving her the stink eye. She especially felt judged when she revealed that she doesn’t really cook, and mostly dines on Hot Pockets and Bagel Bites. Sister Chidi worried that her brother would not be properly taken care of, if he was to be in Rayne’s custody (Though I’m thinking the Lean Cuisines are the least of his problems there). Rayne asked Sister Chidi why she was being so hostile, which she passive-aggressively denied, along with her husband.

Since dinner was so tense, Rayne decided to see if Chidi would be willing to go with her to stay at a hotel. She walked him outside of the house to discuss the idea, though Chidi seemed hesitant. He felt he might “capitulate” if he were alone with the funky chicken-lady, and wished they could spend more time together separately, in his sister’s house. Rayne was understandably mad, as she was under the impression that they were going to possibly get married, and should therefore be able to stay together and have their own private time. She yammered on and on, causing Chidi’s bright lights to blur, jumbling his remaining senses and making him feel disoriented. They eventually went back to the house, where she got into an actual fight with Sister Chidi, as both women tried to assert dominance over Chid. Previews for next week show Rayne heading out to a hotel. Whether is was by choice or by force, and alone or with company remains to be seen next week.

Niles & Matilda:

Matilda and her friend were busy packing up her sexiest outfits from the mountains of garbage bags in her bedroom as she prepared to pick Niles up from the airport. She headed off on the long drive with her brother, who was tasked with keeping her safe. Niles finally landed in Ghana, and made his way to the baggage claim, where the two met with a full body and passionate first kiss.

They made their first stop at a Ghanaian restaurant so Niles could experience the local cuisine. Matilda made sure to order an array of crab, smoked fish, goat, and snails to really ease him into trying new things. Niles was a good sport, sucking down the delicacies, and pretending to really like them. Brother Matilda tagged along, questioning Niles about his commitment and readiness to deal with Matilda and her short temper. Though this seemed to be news to him, Niles agreed that he planned on taking care of Matilda, and hopefully won’t mind her sudden mood shifts.

As they drove back to the hotel, the newly united couple sat in the back seat staring at each other, making lovey dovey faces as they breathed each other’s snail breath. Though they had said they’d wait until marriage to consummate their relationship, it seems that rule may have been immediately broken, as Matilda jumped on top of Niles like a black mamba– The longest poisonous snake in Africa that can strike up to 12 times within a minute. (Ghana fun fact of the week). Looking forward to watching these two progress, and can’t wait to inevitably see Niles at the meat market (No sandals! Baby Girl Lisa says!)

Faith & Drippy Loren:

After his trip to the clinic, Loren was happily taking his icky pills to plug up his leaky penis. He got back to the hotel and called his friend Esther to discuss all of the gonorrheaing, and the impact it was having on his relationship with Faith. Esther obviously understood why Faith would be angry and not want to see him, but encouraged Leaky-Loren to fight for the relationship if he felt it was truly the love of his life. She did however mention that Faith was most likely not going to be receptive to the whole “free love” lifestyle he was after, especially if it meant her body parts would be at risk of springing their own leaks. Back at the hotel, Faith went to have her nails done, as she reluctantly told her friends all of the icky Loren drama (In an octave 3 times lower than her usual voice). She cried, asking for help to decide what to do about the Gonorrhea Gringo up in room 219. If she would have asked me, I would have told her to make Loren a Gon(orhea)-Er.

Sunny & OyVeyHa:

Veah and her ex boyfriend Rory finally landed in South Africa, and went over their game plan for meeting Sunny. She devised a plan to have Rory hide at the airport until she would text him their mutual code “777”, which she explained were her “Lucky Angel” numbers (Guess we all know how to get into Vey-Ha’s phone now). Sunny waited patiently with the bouquet of dead roses, her favorite, as she finally made an appearance. The two hugged awkwardly, with Sunny making multiple goofy sex comments and letting her know he had a few “toys” waiting back at the house for her. As they got into the car to head off, Veah managed to remember poor Rory, who had been hiding out near the airport South Africa Panda Express, long enough to be hungry again.

As Veah and Sunny drove towards their hotel, they attempted to get comfortable with each other, even discussing the definition of foreplay, which Sunny figured was a card game between four players (Which could be true, in some circles). Back at the hotel, he was so excited to present her with a meal he prepared of yogurt and curry and mushy-looking chicken. Veah denied the dinner, saying she was picky about what she put into her body (Which she neglected to mention when defining the word “foreplay”). Though he was slightly offended by her rejection of his home cooked meal, Sunny made the effort to put flowers, candles and rose petals all around the bed.

Despite his best efforts, Veah denied his advances for the night, claiming she was tired and jet lagged as the two cuddled up and presumably slept. Though I’m completely uninterested in this couple, I’d like to point out that they’re kind of gross. That is all.

Brian & Ingrid:

It seems that Ingrid was won over last week by Brian’s attempt to get to know her son. She decided to give him another chance, which, lucky for Ingrid, included a day trip to a beautiful resort. The two swam together and seemed to be getting back into their groove. Brian wanted to reveal more of his story, which included a very depressing recovery stay in the hospital. He explained how the roller rugby group saved him, and how he made it his mission to help other handicapped people stay positive. Ingrid was touched by his moving tale, almost so much so that she forgot about the whole former drug dealer/ lying about his age situation, and seemed to want to try and start over. Previews for next week show things getting a bit frisky, with or without the catheter. Not so sure.