90 Day Fiancé; Season 10 Episode 16

Gee-Know & Jasmania:

It had been a few weeks since the knife-wielding kitchen fight, and the couple claimed to be in “A better place” (Which luckily for Gino didn’t mean Jasmine had completed her episode of “Snapped”). Since they were getting along for 5 minutes straight, they decided to head to a bridal dress shop to pick up a gown for the bride-to-be (You know, because she blew her last wedding dress funds on a new butt). The sales girls greeted them, pulling out a few gorgeous dresses for Jasmine to try on, and gave Gino a bottle of champagne to play with awkwardly while he waited.

Gino was enjoying the Jasmine fashion show as she tried on a slew of beautiful gowns, though he had a bit of sticker shock upon hearing the $3-$5000 price points. Luckily Jasmine settled on a $2,000 gown that she claimed to love, making Gino feel like he was getting a bargain (It actually cost him $6,000 if you include the $4000 allowance he previously gave her for a dress that technically did go into the dress…but in the back).
Now it seemed that Jasmine was all “dressed” up with no place to go, as the two had about 30 days to plan the wedding, but hadn’t yet chosen a venue. Jasmania had pictured a barefoot beach wedding, but Gino (who probably didn’t want anyone to see his toes let alone his hat-less head) had a more rustic vibe in mind. He hauled Jasmine out on the outskirts of their area to check out a barn for a more shabby-chic styled affair. Gino was relieved when Jasmine actually liked something he had picked for a change, and the two set their date.The only thing left to do was sure-up the guest list, which of course included Gino’s family, and only Coco from Jasmine’s side. 

Later on we saw Jasmo head out for dinner with the Family Gino at yet another Iy-Tal-iano restaurante (That’s “Italian restaurant”, Kenny, and it’s just a Michigan accent… I’d think even you could understand that one). They met up with Cousin Dana (the man), his wife, nephew, and niece. As they all sat down for a little gabba-gool, Jasmine addressed the group by explaining that she hoped they would accept her, and stop thinking she was just using Gee-Know for his 401k (Which is probably gone by now anyway). Though the family had their concerns from seeing her many bikini-clad social media posts and suggestive photos, they agreed that the connection the two had in person was undeniable (I guess they heard them baby-talk to each other). The rest of the dinner was all smiles and vino, as it seems that Jasmine was becoming a “made” woman.

Clayton & Anali:

Clayton was busy “working out” (or jumping around making guinea pig mating call noises) in the front yard of the airbnb when he was joined by a somber-faced Anali. She briefly asked about his bachelor party/4th grade slumber party, which he replied was the best.night.EVER!

When he asked about the bachelorette party, however, she was reluctant to discuss the details. Realizing she should probably tell the truth, Anali finally let him know that Brandi had in fact surprised her with a stripper from Wish. com, which caused Clayton to get very upset. He immediately began interrogating her over what happened. A thought bubble appeared over Anali’s head, detailing all of the flapping and flopping that had occurred on the party bus, trying to figure out how to gently let Clayton know what had happened. She explained that the stripper did dance, mostly in her direction, and she had to slightly participate because she wasn’t able to throw him out of the autobus fiesta (That’s “party bus” Kenny, and I don’t think Anali could have thrown him out of the window without getting a salami slap to the face). 
Clayton continued reprimanding Anali for her blatant disregard for his “no stripper” rule, which sent her of course back to the bedroom to pack her bags.
Clayton called Brandi to find out the real deal and get advice on what to do to fix the situation. Brandi (Still drunk from the night before and trying to get the stripper to leave her house),  suggested her guinea-pig-headed brother go make up with his blubbering bride,  but Clayton refused, feeling that she had betrayed his trust. He explained that if the tables were turned, Anali would have freaked out even worse (Though I’m not sure any self respecting stripper would have stuck around for the pool party. Maybe if they were serving Bagel Bites………)
Ultimately Clayton did apologize for his tirade and hoped that Anali would rethink her escape plan and go through with the wedding ceremony, if only for the sake of the rented llama. 

Previews for next week suggest Anali might be heading home to Peru, leaving Clayton and his guinea pigs going wee-wee-wee all the way home, alone (Cue them all making the Macaughly Culkin face).

Rob the Knob & Dollar Store Daenerys Targaryen:

Rob arrived at the hotel to retrieve Sophie and return to his lair. The two kind of sort of made up for a minute, though Rob insisted on having yet another chat in the “courtyard” to work on their issues. Rob tried to guilt trip Sophie by claiming she and her mean mum ganged up on him, making him look like the bad guy who didn’t have a bathroom, or decent house, a job, or ability to keep his Knob off the internet. Somehow Sophie wound up apologizing, if only to end the fighting, so they could move forward (Because I guess she REALLY loves living in LA). Being that Rob was so unrelenting in his victimhood, she felt the need to bring up the fact that he had his own apologies to dish out, due to the fact that he had been making passive-aggressive Facebook posts during their fight. Unfortunately Rob wasn’t in the mood to say he was sorry, and sat by blinking as Sophie cried, begging him to apologize, as if that would improve the situation.

Eventually Rob reluctantly apologized to his cryptic internet posts, which was magic to Sophie’s bobby pinned ears. They seemed to have made up for the umpteenth time, but there’s always next week 

Sam & Citronella:

It was the day before the wedding, which made Sam and Citra decide it was time to figure out the ceremony logistics (Good thinkin’). But despite the lack of seating and officiant, the only thing Sam could think about was the wedding night. Citra admitted she was nervous about the “bang bang”, but happy for Sam that he would finally get to unload the “blue balls”, which I’m sure he made to sound like a severe medical condition. 
The next day was finally conversion time, and Citra threw on her most come-hither hijab for the occasion. Sam wore his traditional dress, as Father Citra tried desperately to give him a crash course on how to pray. Sam promised to take care of Citra, even sucking up to her father by saying that he and the Mrs. were a perfect example of a relationship (Nice touch, Sam. Wouldn’t you say, Kenny??)

They prepped Sam for his bar mitzvah, with Father Citra showing him how to properly wash up before prayer, which he’d better get good at being it’s going to be 5xs/day. Father Sam showed up, cigarette in mouth and sunglasses permanently affixed to his face, to show support for his son.
Sam made his way to the front of the room where the Imam performed the conversion ceremony, welcoming Sam into the faith. Father Citra agreed to be a witness, as he held Sam’s hand through the entire event, feeding him lines since he failed to google “Islam101”. After his Muslimhood commenced, Sam and Citra were brought up to the front of the room to be married. It was a quick ceremony, and sadly no one wore a sheet (Like Avery’s mother, when she married Omar, which was definitely an all time 90 Day highlight….If you know, you know). Sam was relieved that the hard part was over, as he cried happy tears on his new Father in Law’s shoulder. 

Looks like the American wedding will be next week, and there still isn’t an officiant in sight. Maybe Father Sam can call someone down from the mothership?! 

Ashley & Manuel:

Being that the wedding day was near, Ashley felt it was important to have a conference call with Mother Manuel. Momuel was upset that she couldn’t be in town for the festivities, and hoped that the couple would be able to have honesty and communication in order to have a peaceful union (Definitely not their usual approach, but they agreed to try, especially if there were no public restrooms around).
Ashley then got a call from the wedding planner, only to learn that there was a tropical storm on the horizon, perfectly timed for the nuptials. She started one of her famous panic attacks (fueled by excessive caffeine intake) as she hadn’t thought of any rain contingency plans, especially since she had specifically manifested that it wouldn’t rain. 

The wedding planner laid it on a bit thick, telling Ashley that she was putting her guests in danger by trying to go through with a wedding during hurricane season (Which maybe he should have mentioned when she called from out of state about planning a wedding that time of year. No refunds or substitutions).

I guess we’ll have to wait until next week to see if hurricane Mashley happens, or if the two just end up eloping in the bathroom. (And this wedding planner should expect both a hex and a bad Yelp review in his near future)