90 Day Fiance; Before the 90 Days Season 6, Episode 16

Dempsey & Statler:

After their big disagreement last week, Statler searched all around the castle for Dempsey, only to find her in a foul mood as she packed to leave. Dempsey felt blindsided by Statler’s sudden change of heart on the subject of having children since they had discussed it previously and she had been open to the idea, and she now worried about the fate of the relationship. Statler freaked out, locking herself in the bathroom to have an anxiety attack (or IBS, it’s debatable), only to emerge 20 minutes later, fully dressed. She explained to Dempsey that she was being honest both times when she said she both wanted/ didn’t want kids ever, since she likes to “be honest in the moment”, and changes her mind frequently. Somehow that made Dempsey feel a little better, and the two were able to hug it. They agreed to stay together until the topic inevitably rears its head yet again. What a waste of a castle day!

Later on, they were magically transported back to the tiny caravan, where they sat by the fire. It was Statler’s last night in town, and she was already trying to plan for another trip soon. Dempsey caught her off guard when she changed her mind on the cohabitation topic, inviting Statler to come stay for good (I guess she decided to try out that whole “truthful in the moment” thing). Statler was overjoyed, but still concerned, being that her previous British babe had left her with the hopes of moving in, only to break up with her as soon as she got home.

The next morning it was finally time for Statler to return from whence she came. She physically detached herself from Dempsey, feeling better about leaving knowing they were planning on staying together. The two had an emotional goodbye, or “See you soon”, as Statler called it, as she headed up the airport escalator, almost tripping over her own feet. To be honest at the moment…. They did seem genuine this episode (But I could totally change my mind in 5 minutes and that would be honest and truthful too). 

Riley & Violet (aka Riot & Violence):

This week Riley was back from Vietnam, as we saw him sitting in his house, smoking his silly cigars that he thinks make him look distinguished. He told production about his “Dear Riley” text from Violet upon his return, announcing she was “Mother Debbie Done”. She seemed to have quickly changed her tune, however, immediately apologizing and trying to win him back (I guess she was being truthful at the moment). Riley was unsure if the relationship was fixable, but contemplated giving it another go since he had nothing better to do (except of course smoke cigars and listen to smooth jazz).

Riley went over to discuss some recent developments with his “sister”-friend Tiffanie, all while wearing 4 layers of clothing. Sister-Friend Tiffanie mentioned how shocked she was to hear that she might soon be an Auntie, asking Riley to explain how this could even be possible. Apparently one of the many nights he was all alone in his hotel in Vietnam, Violet came a-knockin’, trying to seduce him (She must have been turned on by the war museum, and decided to seduce him in one of her TJ Maxx dresses). Apparently this one (presumably 3 minutes) of amiable interaction resulted in Violet becoming pregnant. Riley wasn’t sure how to react to the big news, but he was a bit skeptical, as he is on some form of medication that prevents his chances of reproducing (Thank you, science). He told Violet that he had found an English speaking OBGYN in Vietnam and asked her to go, all expenses paid, so he could get accurate information. She refused the offer, which furthered his suspicions that she might be lying about the whole thing. She additionally refused to wear headphones on her stomach so baby Riolet could listen to smooth jazz in utero (Which, I actually understand and respect her decision). Riley felt excited about the prospect of Baby Kenny G. Junior, even though he knew it most likely was a deceitful ploy. Immediately after announcing the immaculate conception, Violet demanded that Riley propose, so she could move to the U.S. and be together as one big annoying family. Friend Tiffanie could hardly believe this new development, as Riley stood in her kitchen shrugging his shoulders, sweating profusely (I guess the sweating wasn’t location-specific). I’m having a hard time believing Violet could be pregnant, and would sooner believe the guy Riley hung out with on the motorcycle was pregnant (At least they had confirmed physical contact). Can’t wait to see Violet ignore any questions about her pregnancy like no one is even speaking to her at the Tell All!

Jasmaniac & Gee-NoHatsNoShoesNoService:

They say “home is where you hang your hat”, but that doesn’t seem to be the case for Gino, who was still wearing his, 24/7 at his home in Michigan. He explained how much he missed Jasmine all while awkwardly making coffee, which apparently he drinks 8 cups per day (At that rate you’d think he’d be less tired and more lively when he visited). It was finally the big day for Jasmine’s Visa interview, so GEEnious decided to decorate the ole bachelor pad with the Panamanian flag to surprise Jasmine on video chat after she had finished. He asked his cousin Dana (the man) to come help be a part of the decorating committee, as the two putzed around in Panama-themed accessories. Clearly he hadn’t thought this through, as Dana would probably be the last person Jasmine would want to see (And wouldn’t it have made more sense to decorate with American flags since she was theoretically coming to America?? But what do I know, I only drink 7 cups of coffee a day… I’m not operating on that level).

Meanwhile, on the other side of the canal….Jasmine was having a meltdown as she struggled to collect her thoughts and belongings to head to her interview. Her cousin drove her to the American Embassy, chit chatting all the while, and starting every sentence with the word “Girl”. Cousin Jasmine, like everyone else, was unsure of why anyone would date Gino, let alone Jasmine, but tried to remain supportive. They finally reached the building, as Jasmine’s nerves were at an all time high. She anxiously strutted into the building wearing her hot pink power suit and nude makeup combo, only to come out 90 minutes later, hysterically sobbing. 

Meanwhile back in Panama…. I mean, Michigan (Sorry I thought it was Panama from all of the flags and swag) Gino was super excited to greet Jasmine on video call with his big “surprise”. Jasmine blubbered, ugly crying, as it appeared the embassy said they couldn’t interview her at this time, giving no other information. Jasmine felt hopeless, having waited 18 months for this day, only to be met with another roadblock. As she sobbed, she took a quick break to get mad about the stupid Panamanian flags in the background that I told him didn’t make sense… no one listens to me. 

Previews or the Tell All reveal that all of the crying was in vain, as it looks like Jasmine is now a proud Michigander. Sorry, Michigan…

Mischa Mischa Mischa & Kneeeee-Colaaaaa:

Back in the holy land…

The two strolled through the Israeli marketplace, stopping occasionally to play with stray cats. Nicola stopped in the middle of the market to drop to one knee and propose randomly, without a ring, to a stunned Meisha. She was caught so off guard, that she almost wanted to continue window shopping but stood there speechless. In true KneeCola fashion, he reminded her over and over to answer the questions, finally receiving a “Yes”! The two publicly embraced, locking lips, as Meisha probably wondered what the awkward wedding night would be like…… (no one knows for certain, but all I can tell you is it will end with a MEEEEEEEEISSSSSHA). 

Being that his romantic plan involved everything except a ring, Nicola rushed his now fiance to a jewelry shop. They found a tiny little ring that was Meisha-approved, as Kneecaps began the Israeli art of negotiation. Meisha face contorted, watching her favorite Catholic haggle back and forth with the store owner, wanting to get the best bang for his buck (the only “bang” he’s allowed to have at the moment. Meisha.) Meisha wasn’t sure whether she should be impressed or insulted, as she walked off with her tiny sparkly ring.

Back at the messy hotel room, the new fiances hugged tightly, worried about all of the upcoming challenges they would be facing with Visas, annulments, and blending the family. Meisha decided that KneeCola should come to the US for a few months on a tourist Visa while she straightens out her annulment and K1-Visa. Luckily KneeCola’s boss would give him all the time off he needs (Since his boss is Jesus and he works remotely). The two had a heartfelt goodbye at the airport, as Meisha headed home to Minnesota to do her best to explain to everyone in her life what the hell she sees in this guy. Meisha.

 Cleo & Crischon:

Crischon was packing for his trip home, as Cleo asked if she could keep something to remember him by. Since a lock of hair was clearly out of the question, she tried to hang on to his favorite hoodie (Which Crischon was not thrilled about). After getting everything together, Cleo walked him out to the curb where his car service waited, sobbing uncontrollably. He tried to reassure her that they will be together again one day… as he then did an awful “Casablanca” impression that only she found adorable, before kissing her goodbye. 

Once alone, Croschon admitted there were a lot of things the two would have to overcome to be together; Cleo would have to trust him around strange women he talks to when alone, and he would have to work on a better English accent. Cleo worried that she wun see chroschon avir uhgen, as he rolled down the window of the Uber “Grey Poupon”-style, to show off his pouty sad face. Should be interesting to hear what the rest of the group has to say about them at the Tell All!

Amanda(Hugnkiss) & Razzledazzle:

Now that Razvan is convinced the relationship is a bust, Amanda decided to pull out all of the stops. She presumably went out to the Romanian CVS and got everything she could find with a red heart on it, making a display on the table. Once Razvan walked in, she used her most annoying baby voice to say “I gOt YoU a LiTtLe PwEsEnTt”. He seemed to be touched by the thoughtful/ personal conquest gift assortment, thanking her before discussing plans to go out for a fancy “Bon Voyage” dinner, where he hoped they would make a decision about their future together. As they sat by the water, Amanda ordered a salad (Guess they were all out of french fries) before asking Razvan if he wants to be her boyfriend, check “yes” or “no”. 

Razvan told Amanda that though he loved her, she is also his “Worst Enemy”. Amanda combatted that biting comment by telling him things will change, and gave him a card so she could express herself through written word. He read the 4th grade level love proclamation aloud, while Amanda ate her salad smugly. Ultimately he changed his mind on breaking up with Amanda (and her bad hair), and decided to stay together. She now seemed excited about him coming over on a Visa to visit, as the two hurried to leave to get in their last Romanian roll in the hay. I guess Razvan finally dislodged the stick up her a$$.