Sister Wives; S18 EP 1

Love should be multiplied, not divided….or so they used to say. But not anymore!! This is the season that Kody Brown goes down, and no mountain view or flowing curly locks will save him now.
I give you…. Episode 1.

Of course in true Sister Wives fashion they are going to start slow and drag things out, however, this season will look a bit different. Episode 1 was a basic overview of all of Kody’s greatest hits of stupidity from last season…. and the fallout as a result. Kody starts off by saying that the family is having a Brown Civil War. He’s losing wives left and right and basically left alone with sobbin’ Robyn. Chrisine jumped ship with her self-proclaimed spiritual divorce, Janelle is annoyed and over their marriage, and Meri is still hanging around like a piece of toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe.

Janelle was packing up her camper on the Coyote Pass land (away from the trees, near the mountain, with the pond, and to the left) for the Winter and getting ready to rent an apartment in town. Kody popped over in his vision to detach all of the hoses and slides and what not (You know a hat would have just hidden his precious tendrils). Kody is still at odds with Janelle’s boys after they refused to follow his insane C-vid protocols, which has caused a rift in their marriage. He wishes Janelle would just forget what a jackhole he has been in recent years and console his bruised ego. For some bizarre reason, Janelle is still holding on to the dream of building a house on Coyote Pass, which apparently can only be 1200 sq feet according to the zoning laws (All of this for 1200 sq feet in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors except possibly Kody and Robyn?!?)
Robyn came on to wrinkle her unmoisturized forehead lines and complain that she feels cheated of her sister wife-life. The family has fallen apart and with the holidays approaching, she worries that no one will want to take 2 Covid tests and eat stuffing under their masks. 
Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, Christine was beaming with joy talking about life after Kody. She has remained close with Janelle and her kids, and even took a trip back to Flagstaff to visit Janelle in her new apartment. As the former/current sister wives worked together to build a bookcase, they reminisced of all taking turns being Kody’s “Beautiful assistant” (Which meant he built things while they handed him tools and watched his hair flap in the breeze). Janelle mentioned the holidays and that she would be spending them separately with her kids instead of The Big Kode-man and the Sobbettes. Kody had demanded that her sons apologize to Robyn for making fun of her Covid rules (which were really his rules), before they were allowed to attend any family gatherings. Christine questioned if it was her fault that the family is so divided (smirking, because she secretly hoped it was), but Janelle thinks there is so much more to it. She feels Kody is not an engaged father any more, but instead, an angry walking ramen noodle that expects all of his wives to “bend the knee”.

Meri went over to Robyn’s house, who is still social distancing in the Winter time of 2022. Meri explained that her relationship with Kody at this point is fairly non-existent; Friends at the very most, but the kind maybe you wave to in the grocery store and don’t even bother having a full conversation with. Robyn’s eyebrows were still two independent little caterpillars chugging their way across her forehead over a sea of Wet ‘N Wild eyeshadow as she asked Meri desperately to attend Thanksgiving. Meri was glad just to be invited, though she admitted that Turkey Day at Robyn’s is not exactly the loud, lively event it used to be when everyone was together. She knew she would be on dessert duty, since she always used to make the turkey, but claimed that Kody now likes Robyn’s turkey better (Which is actually the entire summary of this show, and I could stop recapping right now).
Robyn felt like the Brown family seemed to be solid before she came into the fold, unsure of what had changed. They no longer carried on family traditions, no one really interacted with each other much, and they all had to wear that awful Sister Wives Closet jewelry. Meri claimed not to understand why Christine had pulled away from her (As they showed a home video in the background of Christine physically tackling Meri- in jest, because they couldn’t agree). Robyn, who is pretty much the last man standing, felt that she, Mery and Janelle needed to help make Kody’s life easier, given his current state of frustration. 

MEANWHILE, Chrristine met up with Kody for a one on one meeting at a local Mexican joint. The idea was to discuss Truly and the state of everything, but we all know it was for our benefit (So thanks for that!). Kody came right out saying he felt betrayed, mostly because Christine was talking badly about him to their kids, and as a solution, he’d like to spend some time hating her. Christine smirked, not seeming to take him too seriously, as she maintained that she merely listened to the kids’ thoughts and feelings as a sounding board. The conversation moved on to the family’s holiday plans. Kody wasted no time asking Christine and Truly to test for Covid before coming to Robyn’s house, causing her to burst out laughing. She openly mocked his intense Covid fear, especially since he already had it once, and was beyond dramatic fighting off his bad man-flu. They went back and forth, with the hatred dripping off of Kody’s face, but somehow managed to keep things calm before he finally decided to leave.

It was a slow start, but previews show Janelle finally telling Kodiak off,  and I am definitely here for that one!