Before the 90 Days; S6, EP 13

Christian & Cleo:

After the austrulugucul redding, Cleo and Christian decided to do a little cosplay together at a local costume shop. They decided their first joint look would be a 1920’s gangster theme. The oddly dressed gentleman working at ye ole’ costume shop took Christian’s neck measurements, remarking how tiny his neck was, while Cleo bragged from the fitting room that her Adam’s apple was twice as big. Well how about them apples…..
Once they found pencil-neck his zoot suit, the two got dressed and danced around in front of the fitting room. The next look was a “Medieval Times disgruntled employee”, which really got Cleo’s motor going. She was gawking at her puny-necked knight, when he so chivalrously brought out a present for m’lady; A rather unattractive silver necklace, as a token of his love (It wasn’t as ugly as anything Gino would have picked out, but it wasn’t House of 11 caliber either). Cleo was shocked by the gift, but even more touched by the “L” word, saying “You dint hov tu du thut Crosschan. I oprishyate yu ”, as the awkwardly dressed employee clapped in the distance. (Lucky for all of you, I minored in “Cleo” and can translate).

The next day was Thanksgiving, which was a weird one for Christian to be spending away from his family and country. He and Cleo decided to head to the grocery store to make their own version of the holiday dinner. Christian, the culinary wizard, felt fresh corn was far inferior to his coveted creamed corn, and would compliment canned cranberry sauce nicely. Of course Cleo nurvr hurd of dees thengs, but Christian assured her they were Thanksgiving staples.

On the way back to the BNB, Cleo mentioned “I huv a claus to go tu, its a lung guan”, which was no problem for Christian, since he could always just go drink himself into oblivion. When Cleo returned, she noticed Christian was extra friendly, and three sheets to the wind. It appears that after polishing off the in-house booze, he stumbled over to a pub, where he openly told her about meeting an American girl and having a jolly old time. So much so, that he invited her on over for Thanksgiving! Cleo of course did not want the extra company, citing that “I dun wun to get anxiety frun utism”. Christian remained clueless as to why continuing to chit chat with women would be a problem, and why Cleo might want to wring his skinny little neck. Bring on the creamed corn!

Meisha Meisha Meisha & KneeeeeeColaaaaa:

Back in Mother’s Nicola’s living room…..
Meisha was squirming on her doily as it was finally time to tell the Family Kneecola about her past. Kneepepsicola seemed to almost shut down with nerves, as she finally urged him to do the honors. He explained to his brothers that he had seen Meisha post on a Catholic website and corrected her (you know that’s not a lie), and the two became instant Facebook friends. From there, things just naturally blossomed into a beautiful loving relationship where two people chat about God and one corrects the other. He then told them of his plans to get engaged in the next few days, which they quickly translated to Mother KneeCola. Kneepads bowed his head, nervously awaiting her reply, and was shocked to hear the response it was a happy one. The brothers also let their mother know the couple would be moving to the U.S., to which Mother Dearest replied “Eh, okay”, followed by a shoulder-shimmy, saying she’d come visit. Since they were really on a role, Kneecola divulged Meisha’s divorce and kids, which was met with little excitement. Apparently Mother Nicola couldn’t care less, and just wanted to get her bum son off of her couch. His brothers were also very happy for him, saying that he should be more open about his life and not wait 7 years to tell them about a girlfriend. Meisha was soo maaach glad that things were going so well, but couldn’t help but wonder what Kneecola had been worried about since his family was so accepting. She feared the real issue may be that he didn’t want to ruin his religious OG street cred. 

After the family matters were over, Kneecola continued his job as tour guide and took Meisha to a town called Acre, where he spent his childhood. And what trip to the holy land would be complete without some delicious hummus?!? The two sat down at a local spot where they ordered the Zohan treat and discussed the “Meet the Family” experience.
Meisha stated her confusion about his hesitancy and discomfort talking to his family, when they were so accepting, wondering if the fact that she was divorced really bothered him more than he let on. He gave her the “No, Meisha, of course not” answer he uses constantly, trying to think up another obstacle he can put in the way for next week. Meisha. 

David & Sheila (And no Aimee):

While Sheila was out for the day, David decided to take the opportunity to go to Cebu to shop for an engagement ring. Unfortunately Interpreter Aimee was taking a well-deserved personal day, which meant David would be going solo, hoping he’d somehow be able to navigate and communicate his way through the marketplace. The cab let him out near a bunch of roosters on a table, which is always a great landmark (I always try to park near the roosters on the table… it’s easy to remember). David bumbled past all of the many stalls, stopping to ask (via Jihoon translation app) where the ring store was located. He finally found a jewelry shop, letting the sales woman know he was deaf and needed an engagement ring. She showed him a few options, as she understood the “looking for a ring” part, but kept yelling things at him, so I guess she didn’t really get the “deaf” part. David looked and looked through the rings in the case, feeling frustrated that he was having such a difficult time communicating with the saleswoman. He eventually found a winner and paid a whole $83 (You couldn’t even buy a HouseOf11 ring for that price, even with a “Snatched” discount). 

Later on, David and Sheila were preparing to go to a beach town for a romantic getaway. Sheila mentioned that she wanted it to be a party of 2- No interpreter Aimee’s allowed. She still felt jealous of “the other woman” in their relationship, and wanted some alone time with her “honey babe”. On the ride over, David let Sheila know he was looking forward to swimming, laughing, dinner, and giving the whole “donut/ banana” thing another shot. David was hoping that Sheila would practice a bit more sign language so they wouldn’t have to use their phones constantly. 

They arrived at the hotel by the beach, and Sheila was blown away. David felt this was the perfect place for his big proposal. He did, however, worry about their communication, as he was upset Sheila had not yet learned sign language. Luckily Sheila changed the topic and asked if he wanted to shower, and the two headed off to the bathroom to get steamy. So glad Aimee got to miss this…

Jasmaniac & Gee-Know:

Back at the apartment, Jasmine was still dressed like a child as she decided to give Gino a facial (not a Golden one, thank God). As she placed the “Silence of the Lambs” facemask on him and massaged his hands, she brought up their history of cyclical fighting. Somehow that led to her complaining about how long the K1-Visa process was taking, and how she wanted to stay in her $3000/month apartment until it was approved. Gino of course did not want to continue paying so much for rent, reassuring Jasmine that they would find her a nice place on the cheap. The conversation escalated, with Jasmine bringing up the fact that Gino had money to pay for sugar babies, to take his ex to Legoland (which is romantic, I swear!), but not for her housing.  Gino felt the woman who was dressed like a bratty 14 year old girl was starting to act like a bratty 14 year old girl, calling her “spoiled”, which sent the craze-o-meter over the edge. Jasmine began throwing his stuff at his suitcase, telling him to leave. He retaliated by throwing her stuff on the ground, as she ran to the bathroom to escalate the tantrum. Jasmine screamed through tears, feeling Gino was a “cheap weirdo”, as she symbolically threw his toothbrush on the ground. 

She emerged sobbing, still wearing the multicolored hair clips, trying to convince the bald benefactor to let her stay in her shmancy apartment. The fighting continued in their interview, as Jasmine felt Gino doesn’t do enough for her and doesn’t make her the number one. The fight went from zero to 100, as they slung names, dropped “f bombs”, and Jasmine announced that she had slept with “Den’ ‘ a month ago. Each party claimed to be Mother Debbie Done for good. We shall see…. 

Riley & Violet (Riot & Violence):

With only two days left, time was running out for Riley to see if the horrible relationship could work out. He met up with Violence at the market, which he felt was comparable to Flushing, Queens, and I think that’s fair. Violet convinced Riley to taste a piece of “Durian”, a really stinky Asian fruit, and he reluctantly did. After being soured by nature, it was time to sit down and have a sour conversation. Riley was having a hard time with all of the scents of the marketplace and required a towel to hold over his face. Violet brought up the fact that Riley ruins everything with his distrust, asking how he came to be such a jaded, poorly dressed man. He explained that one of his exes cheated on him, and the other mysteriously disappeared, causing him to be skeptical of women. Violet started to understand him a bit more, finally apologizing for her past shady actions.

Next they decided to tour the city (ya know, besides war museums). Riley was wearing one of his dweeby sweaty collared shirts/shorts outfits, and Violet decided to sport a fuzzy beret, as they boarded the double decker tour bus. Though they were having a good time and getting along, Riley felt it was necessary to tell Violet about almost hiring the private investigator to dig up her past. Violet’s face sported her infamous pouty lip, as she sat smugly in her pointy leaf hat/ beret combo, disappointed by the news. Riley tried to explain that hiring a private investigator is fairly common in the U.S. (though if that were true, he probably would have found out about his ex girlfriend hiding her boyfriend in her closet way quicker). Though he tried to tell her they could move forward now that everything was out in the open, Violet felt violet-lated and did not want to develop a relationship with him further, telling him to stop talking (Glad it worked for her, I’ve been telling him that since the first episode). 

Amanda & RazzleDazzle:

It’s been a minute, but last we left off, it seemed like these two broke up. Razvan went up to Amanda’s hotel room to talk, bringing coffee (it might be a long night of talking). He was hoping to be able to make the relationship work, for some odd reason. Amanda felt Razzle might not be the one for her, because he wasn’t willing to become a janitor in the U.S. while pursuing his smoldering career, so he could provide for her and the kids who aren’t supposed to know about their relationship. Razvan felt the janitor route was not for him, but claimed money to support himself was not an issue (He gets that from the ladies on TikTok). She smirked obnoxiously, touting that her deceased husband would have done annnnything to support their family, making Razvan feel embarrassed. He cried an award-winning cry, as he proclaimed it wasn’t fair. He proposed they should head back to Bucharest so Amanda could inevitably leave early. 

On the drive back, Amanda continued to torture RazVandalay as he drove the car, probably contemplating driving into a pole. She finally admitted she may not be over the untimely death of her husband, which could be contributing to the fact that she’s a real sour patch kid. Since Razvan was being cold and distant, she now decided she wanted to try and work things out with the robust Romanian, completely changing her tune and sucking up the best she could. Razvan didn’t immediately give in to her change of heart, remaining distant and hopefully sending her home early.