The Other Way; S4, EP 13

Gabe & Isabel:

Gabe arrived back in Colombia and was greeted at the airport by Isabel. The two reunited over a little lunch, as they discussed his trip back to the land of Publix. Isabel was concerned when Gabe told her of Sister Monica’s requested roles (plural) in the wedding. It seems that she requested to be the maid of honor as well as the one to give Gabe away (though she seems to be too possesive for the position). Isabel felt Monica was being way too controlling, much like what Gabe had said about Isabel.
With three days until the wedding, The Family Gabe rolled into town ready for drama. Gabe prepped Isabel before meeting his sister, explaining that she’s a bit moody and tends to get hangry when she hasn’t been fed.
Mother Gabe was the first to emerge at the baggage claim, and greeted Isabel warmly with a hug. She seemed genuinely happy to be there and to be meeting her new daughter in law, unlike Sister Monica, who was standoffish (give that girl a snack). She didn’t even bother to hug Isabel, and seemed annoyed that she didn’t speak English (although they were in Colombia where she didn’t need to speak English for any reason…). The cab ride back to the apartment was a bit tense, as bubbly Isabel tried her best to make Gabe translate her friendly chit-chat, while he sat nervously feeling the tension from his sister. 

Gabe, Isabel, Sister Monica, and her Giant boyfriend (who maybe Yohan should measure…) all went out to a restaurant for lunch. The tension continued, as Sister Monica seemed accusatory of Isabel, questioning her motives and willingness to sign a “prenush”. Isabel squashed all of Monica’s concerns, claiming she wouldn’t mind signing a prenup (especially since in the event of a divorce, she would have no use for 1000 pairs of pecker pants).
The attention then turned to Gabe, who apparently had been telling Isabel and Monica two very different stories. He admitted that he feared his sister’s opinions and judgment, and had left her out of some of the big moments in his life because of her bad attitude. The conversation appeared to have gone well, with Sister Monica breaking down in emotional tears. Unfortunately the preview shows her next week throwing some kind of tantrum about coming to the wedding… Hopefully she doesn’t ruin everything for Gabe & Isabel. And if she does, we’ll have to call Jimena from last season…. She knows a few local hitmen. 

Jen & Rishi:

Way back in India… (where there was a woman shown milking a goat on the street… talk about “farm to table- fresh”…….)
Jen, her gang of hype women, and her adorable translator headed over to the Family Rishi’s home to cause trouble (and I’m happy to report no one was barfed on during transit).
Mother Rishi readied the tea for the big gathering, as her company arrived (with some “tea” of their own). Rishi was worried that his mom would think the young, beautiful Indian translator was being brought over as a bride option, though the real love connection was the creepy-eyed candidate sitting before her. Rishi looked nervous, as Jen asked the translator to ask the specifics on his bride search. She was pleasantly surprised to hear the answers matched what Rishi had told her, and felt somewhat stupid for skipping out on the fancy palace lunch to cry in the corner over nothing.
Friend Randi then went on to ask the translator to drop the bomb that Rishi and Jen were secretly engaged. Rishi Jones admitted that if he was the one translating, he would have immediately changed the topic, and sat there listening while clawing at his face.
Mother Rishi laughed uncomfortably at the new information, smiling in confusion while claiming to be okay with her son’s secret relationship. Uncle Rishi agreed, but was concerned about where the couple would want to live. Jen let her new potential inlaws known that she was hoping to not only leave the family compound but to possibly move to Mumbai. 
Jen and her girl gang then excused themselves, giving the Family Rishi some alone time to process, yell at him and call up Sumee’s ex-arranged bride, ASAP. As they were getting ready to leave, Jen and Rishi had a quick chat about all that had just happened, which they both seemed happy about since the family didn’t immediately pull a “Mother Summit”.
Feeling hopeful, Rishi went back inside to face the music and talk to his family. Privately, Mother Rishi disclosed her shock about the situation, and concern that her own baby Indian Jesus is making a huge mistake. Both Mother and Uncle Rishi were willing to entertain the idea of a foreign bride, until they heard Jen’s age. Once they discovered Jen was no longer in her “toting” years, the deal was off. Rishi looked heartbroken, and felt like he had no idea what to do next. 
Looks like previews for next week show Rishi finally telling Jen we have another Mother Smitt situation on our hands.  Luckily because of the Botox, she probably won’t cry too much.

Daniele & Yohan:

Daniele returned from her meetup with her ex, Taylen, to find Yohan pouting around the apartment. She was fully prepared to combat his mood with dinner, which she planned on cooking- much to his surprise. As she unbagged the ingredients, the couple began to fight over the fact that Yohan feels Daniele puts her friends first. He gestured wildly with a phallic kitchen tool, as he listened to her explanation for wanting a social life. Ultimately, Daniele got the big guy to agree to meet up with Taylen, so he could make sure there was nothing going on between the two. 
The couple then went to a bar/restaurant to meet up with Taylen, with Daniele manifesting positive intentions, or something else Baba taught her. Right off the bat, Yohan wasn’t impressed with Tyalen’s outfit choice, citing that his pink silky pants and shirt made him look like a flamingo, and he wouldn’t be caught “dead’ wearing something like that (Oh no.. only Polo belly-shirts that look like he grew 3 feet in his sleep work for Yohan). After ordering drinks, they began discussing Daniele and Taylen’s short lived relationship, with Yohan seeing how he “measured up”….quite literally. He made Taylen stand up to see who was taller, before discussing their joint shoe size (14), leading him to believe they also had other similarly sized appendages. Daniele initially laughed at Yohan’s questioning of Taylen’s man-parts, but then got upset when things went a bit too far. Yohan became passive-aggressive, asking if the two would consider sleeping together now, as he was still clearly upset about this unnecessary meet up. Daniele started to cry hearing that Yohan didn’t completely trust her, being that she tends to say one thing and do another (ya know… like saying she would bring him to the US but instead plans on staying in the DR). She tried to explain that she would not tolerate his insecurity and need to embarrass her when he feels threatened (which is hard to imagine he would feel insecure, since he can effortlessly pick coconuts and has a third leg). Daniele questioned if Yohan would ever be able to match her maturity level, because of course she’s so full of wisdom. Previews for next week showing them have another serious discussion of the future of their relationship… and maybe a few measurements of Yohan’s body parts. 

Debbie & Osama-Bin-Wrotten:

The conversation picked up at the height of tension from last week, where Oussama finally admitted he was using Debbie for a green card. He explained that Khemisset wasn’t exactly the epicenter of poetry and art, and he could really capitalize on his creative endeavors in the U.S. (Like the poem he wrote Debbie: “Roses are red, Violets are blue, you’re bringing me tl the US, and my toof’s coming too”)

Debbie seemed stunned to hear that O-Som was using her as a one-way ticket, and branded him a “User Moohamit”. Oussama tried to claim that going to the U.S. was the couple’s plan all along, but Debbie must have been enamored by a donkey or something when he mentioned it. She immediately got up and demanded to leave, as the two walked back through the farm property in the dark, guided only by the camera crew’s lights, which stunned all of the stray animals along the way. Debbie felt duped by poetry, writing the artform off altogether, as she asked for a cab and a hotel, since the relationship was MotherDebbie(number 2)Done.
She really blamed herself for thinking the relationship was real, despite all of the people in her life’s criticisms and warnings. Debbie claimed Osom has “urinated on her trust”, which sounds even more foul than just regular betrayal (though sterile). 
The next morning, Debbie video called her son Julian from the comfort of her hotel to let him know how badly the move had been going. She described Oussama as a “Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde”, seeming to get worse at night (I funno, werewolves are much cuter). Julian suggested that Debbie keep her distance until an extraction plan had been put into place.Though Debbie logically knew he was right, she couldn’t help but mourn the loss of her “buddy” and their “bff” relationship discussing awful poetry and artwork, (and hopefully not anything physical….I’m sending Yohan over to measure first)

Nicole & Sooo MAaaaachMood:

Maaachmood went to one of his He-Man woman-hater cafes to meet up with his Ossama-toofed brother, Ahmed about his relationship drama. The two brothers played dominoes, as Moodymood brought up the topic of possibly moving with Nicole to the US, since she isn’t adjusting to walking like an Egyptian. Ahmed felt the move wasn’t the greatest idea, as Machmood would be homesick and unable to adjust to all of the amazing Mexican food California has to offer, but agreed he should do it for the sake of saving the relationship. Brother Ahmed did mention that the two should establish some expectations once in the U.S., such as the fact that Maaachmood expects Nicole to dress just as conservatively there as she would in Egypt- their main point of contention. Hopefully Nicole loses his number when she gets back to the states.