HEA; S7, EP 16

Jenny & Sunchip:

Back at the roundtable…Jenny tried threatening the Family Smitt that the couple would move to America, being that they were unaccepted by Indian society (aka the neighbors keep coming over to the Parent’s Smitt’s house constantly to roast them like “Your daughter in law is so old, there was a picture of Moses in her yearbook”). Though Jenny was sure the idea of their little Mikey Jones moving to the other side of the world would help the Parents Snowdrift come to their senses and accept the marriage, the plan totally backfired. Father Smutt concurred that a move to the US might be good for everyone (especially since he and Mother Smitt feel like the relationship is doomed anyway, and he’ll come running back in a year or two)
Moving on from the family get together, Smee decided to take his daughters-in-law sightseeing to some ancient palace. But with every new site to see comes a new discussion about the same old topics…
Jenny brought up the big move to the U.S., with Daughter Christina chiming in to reinforce the idea. Stampede thought it was unfair for Jenny to want to return to her homeland, as she has already lived there all 475 years of her life, and coming to the US hasn’t exactly been on his “to-do” list. Ironically what WAS on his list, was the idea of adopting a child (I hear Mahadi is already taken, but feel free to send a bribery beast of burden to his parents anyway). Daughter Christina’s bodyguard, Jen, brought up the point that Smee is now flip flopping on the topic of children, knowing full well that Jenny’s eggs were powdered long ago. Jenny was blindsided by the kid idea, feeling like it was just another move he was making to try and please his parents and be reinvited to their funerals. She claims that she never would have continued the relationship if she had known he had any interest in having or adopting children. I, however, think they should adopt a few children, and TLC should give them a spinoff entitled “Keeping Up With the Joneses”.

Angela & Mykal?:
Now that the relationship is on the mend and there are no fun Ang-zilla Monster truck rallies going on, the producers decided to bring back the infamous “Goofballs” for entertainment value. They all met up at a restaurant, with Ang wearing her signature color (red) and her more sleek clip in ponytail (not the one that was eavesdropping on their conversation last week on the lampshade). The conversation opened with compliments, as the Goofballs noticed Angela’s Meemaw Makeover. They followed that, however, by explaining that they knew she was in the neighborhood because they overheard gossip of a white lady wreaking havoc at Mykal’s compound. This immediately threw Ang on defensive mode, causing her to puff angrily on her forbidden cigarettes, as a slew of insults flew from her mouth. Mykal thought fast, pulling her away from the table before there was any property damage and the two walked off. Angela felt that Mykal’s chivalry might be an example that he’s turned a new leaf, and provided her with hope that things might work out when he eventually gets to the States.
Later in the segment, It was finally time for Angela’s trip to come to an end. The two seemed to be in good standing as they held hands heading off to the airport. Mykal claimed that no one has ever loved him quite like Ang does (which is probably for the best for his car…not sure how many more replacement bumpers he could afford). 

Yovi:

After saving everyone in Epcot, Yara was driving the fun bus through Germany for another selfless humanitarian act; Sightseeing. Of course looking at the beautiful scenery somehow brought up the topic of Yara staying in Europe while Jovi is away at work. Yara’s friend Karina tried to back her up, trying to convince Jovi that he shouldn’t be so selfish keeping Mother Theresa herself locked down in the swamp when she could be out healing the world…. Making it a better place. Talmadge (who is for some reason still hanging around) chimed in as backup  for his fellow strip club fanatic, defending his point. It was Girls vs. Boys that day out in the “Voods”, as Natalie would say (Another great Ukrainian sweater fighter). 
Yara again tried to lay a guilt trip on Jovi, claiming that he has to let her stay and create world peace through knitwear, since she has been miserable for the last two years. Hearing about his wife’s misery worried Jovi, as he felt the two may be drifting apart; His vision board included a house in the swamp and becoming the crawdad to a litter, while Yara envisioned more independence, and personal shopping for refugees. Whatever will they do….. 

Kimbally & International SupaLocal Talent Sojaboy:

King Sojboy opened this week by asking his queen to rub lotion on his feet, and quickly discovered she was irritated by not only the request, but the fact that she was about to be aiding and abetting a “potential” kidnapping. Sensing that this tension could escalate into a real fight, Usman decided to head outside to get some air, and met up with Jamal at the hotel pool. He explained the situation to his future StepSojaSon, who gave the local talent a hard dose of reality. Jamal tried to explain to his slight-elder that Kimbally has sacrificed sooo maaach for their relationship and him in general. Jamal also pointed out the fact that Usman omits parts of the story that maybe don’t seem so great, which is a form of lying. 
Usman tried to make it seem like Kimbally should be willing to be flexible on the issue of children (even acquiring one at the risk of committing an international felony), since she’s way beyond the age of totability, citing that most couples want to have kids. 

It was finally time for the big meet up with Brother Moohamit (the User) to discuss renting out his child like a library book. The child pawn in question, Mahadi, happens to be adorable, and does resemble what I’d imagine any Soja-offspring might look like. Ooze-man opened up the discussion by bringing up the need to fulfill Sojamom’s contract, but also stay within the confines of the US law (meaning, ix-nay on the isterwife-say). He slowly but steadily brought up the idea of bringing Mahadi to the US to raise him as his legal son, making sure to accentuate all of the perks, like giving him a great education – all expenses paid on Kimbally’s dime, and all of the Paw Patrol his heart desires. Brother Moohamit and Sister in law Mrs Moohamit seemed confused at first by this request to comendeer their child, but surprisingly only concerned with whether or not he would be brought up Muslim (Housa Muslim, to be specific). This presented yet another new roadblock, as Kimbally vowed she would never convert. Jamal looked super uncomfortable as he sat there probably wondering how life had brought him to this exact moment of insanity. He felt like his mom had been completely manipulated by the Supastar as if he was Michael Jackson himself (and you’d better believe she’d adopt a random kid for the King of Pop…. but that’s a whole other felony) .
Back at the hotel, Kim and Jamal were having a heart to heart in the hotel parking garage, with Jamal working overtime to try and bring his mother back down to Earth. He felt that Usman was taking advantage of his mother’s generosity and loyalty, and questioned if she had thought through the reality of the proposed situation. Kimbally seemed to be getting used to the idea of adopting her new nephew in order to get the yammy in the US on a regular basis, but now worried about the religion factor, which she swore was off the table. 
Tune in next week to watch Kimbally’s conversion to Islam! (I hope the ceremony is equally as ridiculous as Mother Avery- of Avery & Omar, getting stuck in the sheet. If ya know, ya know)

Big Ed & Regular Size Liz:

The couple waddled over to the beach on a beautiful overcast day, with Ed’s electric pink Crocs lighting up their path. Liz helped her tiny fiance struggle into an orange sweatshirt (which matched the pink Crocs perfectly…), as they discussed her upcoming reentry into the workforce. Ed tried to give Liz a work curfew, already feeling insecure about her being around full-sized humans instead of the (not so) fun-sized one she’s been reengaged to 10 times. He worried that her coworkers may remind her that marrying him is a bad idea. Liz seems to be more concerned at the moment with making money and being able to provide stability so she might not lose custody of her daughter when her ex moves out of the country (Although if he moves out of the country and they rekindled their relationship, she might bring him back on a K1 visa and ACTUALLY QUALIFY TO BE ON THE SHOW 90 DAY FIANCE!!! Why is she on this show??!) 

Later on we got to see Liz back at it as manager of a restaurant, “Encantro”. She did such a great job upon her return, that the chef offered to make her a partner. Liz was nervous to tell Ed, who hung around the bar during her shift to make sure she didn’t run off with any other men in pink Crocs. Ed was confused about the promotion, being that Liz had claimed she wanted to move to another city and start over, but now seemed to be considering staying. He let her know that he needs a wife, and will not tolerate an 80 hour a week work schedule, even if it did mean they could buy their dream couch… ahem, I mean..Sofa.
Liz was yet again in tears, feeling like Ed was trying to control her and that a 97th breakup was inevitable. I’m sure next week they’ll be “so much stronger” and maybe have some more blankie time at the therapist’s office. 

Elizabeth & Undrrrrrei:

Libby and Undrrrrrei went over to Papa Chuckles’s house to hang out by the pool. Undrrrei and Chuck still seem to be partaking in their Bro-mance, as they wore matching outfits; Navy on navy collared shirts and basketball shorts for the win. Chuck announced that he had finally met a ladyfriend online, who he had hoped to meet up with in person (Her user handle was “InZeeVoodz” and her “About Me” section simply said “I am not a hooker”. Weird…). Libby encouraged Chuck to meet up with his mystery date alone first, but follow that up with a double date with herself and Undrrrei (Hope she doesn’t mind a conversation of *bleepity bleeps*)

Meanwhile, Baby Chuck and his wife Megan were on the playground with their offspring, discussing the family rift. Charlie revealed his mother’s hurt and disappointment when finding out about Libby’s pregnancy via social media. The two listed multiple reasons why Undrrrrei is the worst, even devising a few strategies to get him deported, should he act up at the infamous family counseling session that we have been promised but have yet to endure. Next up, Libby and Undrrrrrei were off to accompany ChuckECheese on his date with the random internet woman. They sat down at the Hibachi table, waiting for the date to show, but she must have realized Undrrrrei was coming and canceled. She sent Chuck a last minute text pretending to have contracted Covid suddenly (but really, she was just allergic to Mold……ovan men named Unnndrei). On the upside, the Hibachi looked fun… who doesn’t love a little onion volcano?!
Since the date didn’t work out, they had to backtrack to the topic of Undrrrei’s immigration scandal. Libby wanted to know Chuck’s take on the situation and if he felt it was a family member that tattletaled. Chuck denied that any member of the Potthast clan could have stooped that low, and promised to look each one of them in the eye and ask directly during the family therapy session that I’m convinced is never happening.