HEA; S7, EP 11

Elizabeth & Undrrrrei:
In honor of the new baby that’s incubating, Libby and her Moldy counterpart decided to take their dads on a trip to the Grand Canyon where they planned to reveal the big news. Their “elaborate” idea included holding up a series of poster boards displaying the message “We’re expecting a baby”, but of course they had to fight and scream at each other while writing out the generic sentence with a Sharpie on their plain white cue cards. Undrrrrrei cursed and screamed at Libby, who seemed unaffected and unphased, while little Ellie, always in earshot, went about her business as usual.
After gathering all of their belongings and heading out on a long flight, they finally arrived at the Grand Canyon with both dads in tow. Libby made sure to give everyone a cowboy hat to complete the theme, as they headed to the perfect scenic area. Libby, Undrrrrei and Baby Ellie took center stage at the scenic overlook, each holding up their appointed poster board, under the guise that they were having Chuck film them for another painful episode of their YouTube channel “Ellie’s World”. Of course because of their miscommunications and fighting during their craft time, the poster boards weren’t exactly clear, and it took both Chuck and Father Undrrrrei a hot minute to compute the baby news. Once they finally realized what was going on, Chuck was super excited, immediately becoming emotional, as Father Undrrrrrei stood there smiling, probably wondering how he could have spawned such a jerk when he seems to be the most calm and patient man ever. Libby wanted to post her baby news right away on social media to share with the world, but Chuck advised that they tell the family first. Undrrrrrei of course did not feel it was necessary to reach out to the rest of the Family Elizabeth (which he proclaimed vehemently using a lot of 4 letter words). Looks like they’ll be talking next week, during their anticipated counseling session. If you take a shot every time someone says “Bro” or drops the F bomb, the episode will suddenly become much more enjoyable.

Kimbally & International Supalocal Talent Sojaboy:
In the wake of Sojamom’s second disapproval, Kim and Usman sat in their hotel room planning what to do next. After Usman explained things in a very confusing manner, he finally convinced Kim to let him go meet Soak-A-Toe’s most eligible bachelorette, hand picked by dear old mom. He felt that Kim jumping on board with letting him meet this young, fertile, possible relative would really prove her love and dedication, maybe even winning over Sojamom’s final stamp of approval.
Before his big date with his newest “potential”, Kim asked Usman to leave the hotel room so she could call her son Jamal. In reality, she was setting the scene for a romantic evening where she planned on making the bold and untraditional (in both cultures) move of proposing to him. Kimbally pulled out all the stops, sprinkling rose petals all over the love nest, lighting candles for ambiance, and displaying pictures of the couple during their happy times (you know, all 2 of them). She then invited Sojaboy to re enter the room, as she confessed her love through tears, eventually getting down on one knee to ask for the supa-star’s hand in marriage with not one but TWO different sized rings- just incase. Sojaboy was touched by the romantic gesture, and accepted by responding with “If this is what makes you happy in this life, then yes. I will marry you”. He went on to explain to the cameras that if all else fails, he can just con Kim into becoming his second wife (probably to keep their Green Card/Yammy exchange program going).
The next morning, Usman got dressed to head off to meet Kimbally’s potential SojaSistaWife. Kim struggled with her emotions as she was left alone to video chat with her attractive and rational son, Jamal. She discussed the last 48 hours in Soak-A-Toe, which included a second Sojamom rejection, proposing to the local talent, and sitting alone while her newly appointed fiance has a day-date with a fertile Myrtle. Jamal’s secondhand embarrassment seemed real, as he tried to talk some sense into his star-struck mother, reminding her that she shouldn’t have to be the one to propose. Kim defended her love for the International Supastar, reciting his plan to date this young, attractive woman out of love for KIMBALLY, so his mother would bless their unconventional union. Jamal brought up the fact that Usman seemed to be working pretty hard to deceive his own mother, which he saw as a true character flaw. He tried to get his mom to realize that Usman was most likely manipulating her as well, and she should get her mind off of the sub-par yammy. Kimbally had a slight “a-ha” moment, but I’m sure it’ll pass by next week. Previews show Sojaboy seemingly pleased with his mother’s choice of “mystery date”, who will hopefully get her own new hit single. 

Angela & Mykal??:

Mykal sat down with Angela’s “Smokin’ in the Girls’ Room” BFF, Rene, to see if she could sway Angela to give peace a chance (ya know, for the sake of the Visa). She acknowledged that both parties are equally contributing to the toxicity of the situation, but tried to convince Mykal to remove his Instagram account as a sign of good faith. Ang joined the two (now with a very raspy voice, completely hoarse from screaming for the last 3 episodes) pleading her case to “Judge Rene”, explaining how Mykal used her for carnal pleasure, sweet talking her into the sheets by telling her he would delete his social media (or he just liked the taste of secondhand smoke. One or the other).
Angela outed her husband to Judge Rene, proving her point that Mykal’s newly found internet independence was not on the “up and up ” as he claimed. Since she had been blocked online by her long-distance love, Angela had a friend of hers scour his Instagram account to report back with ev-a-dense (in my best “Dinyell” voice). Apparently she was able to uncover a comment that she took as a slight flirtation, though what was shown was mild and fairly innocent. Meemaw declared this cyber indiscretion was grounds for divorce, stomping out of the room with yet another “I’m done” proclamation. Mykal is going to have to give up a lot of yammy to smooth this one over!

B-Lull & Shy-duh:

Shyduh is having yoga teaching withdrawals since moving to the “Oasis of Sophistication”, so she held a zoom chat with a few fellow yogis and proceeded to Bend it like Beckham. Bilal sat in on the session, doing his best as the uptight inflexible guy that he is, but managed to bring in some fart sound effects, blessing the class with his gift of comic relief. His joke seemed to be underappreciated by the human pretzel, who rolled her eyes at the 5th grade attempt at humor.
Later we saw Shy-duh receive her work permit, which she immediately wanted to put to good use by opening up her own yoga studio. She tried to convince B-Lull to help her find a  commercial studio space so she could begin building her yoga empire. Her business-savvy husband tried to mansplain all of the ins and outs of starting her new venture, including establishing credit, promoting herself, etc. They attempted to look together for a suitable spot for “Shyduh’s Bendy Bar”, with Bilal having his reservations about the idea, seeming like he would prefer if she just stayed at their “ohm sweet ohm” all day. He ultimately decided to support her endeavors, with the hopes that she would be preoccupied twisting herself up and table the idea of baby-making. He dumped her off with two of his female coworker real estate agents to look at yet another studio space. Of course the female agents brought up the idea of having room in the studio for child care, as a nice segway into the topic of family planning (or lack thereof). Shy-duh was very open about her desire to have children asap, despite the pushback from B-Lull and his possible vasectomy. Because why wouldn’t we go through one episode without this lingering topic…
The lady coworkers seemed to be #TeamShyduh, understanding her desire to be a working woman who chose both career and children. Or they just wanted the commission…

Yovi:

This week it was time to go apartment hunting in Prague. Jovi begrudgingly drove Yara, her mother, and his face-twin, baby Mylah, to check out the housing options in the city. The first apartment was a bust, with tiny rooms and  an awkwardly carpeted kitchen (which seemed equal parts eye-sore and fire hazard). Jovi had a “I told ya so” attitude as he reveled in the fact that the apartment was nowhere near up to Yara’s high standards. Mother Yara felt they should continue the search, feeling the need for her daughter to have a backup plan, in case things didn’t work out in her marriage. 
Jovi dumped the rest of his girl crew off in a restaurant and scooted off to the bar to video call Meeses Gween. He expressed his frustration with the apartment hunt, and the fact that he felt like his wife was planning a new life without him. Mama Gwen agreed that the whole apartment hunt sounded a bit fishy (and she should know… she eats all kinds of gumbo and what not). Yara tried to explain to Jovi her desire for the backup European apartment so she could have something of her own, being that Jovi tends to hold things over her head every time they fight. He would probably be more on board for the apartment if it was in stumbling distance to the “Bada-Bing; Prague”. 

Big Ed & Regular Size Liz:

In a desperate attempt to revive their dead-horse of a relationship, Ed ordered a massage table and some oils to give Liz a full body rub down. After Ed finished his role of “Masseuse”, he traded places by coming out of his bedroom completely naked, ready for his turn. They awkwardly role-played a whole “masseuse/client” scenario, before Liz proposed the idea of waxing Ed’s nasty hairy Mucinex back. She took great pleasure in applying and ripping the wax pads from her blob of a boyfriend’s body,  de-furring him while enjoying his screams of pain.
After the nauseating display, Ed was brushing Liz’s hair (sans Mayo conditioner treatment), explaining that he had family coming in to town that he would like her to meet (I was trying to pay attention, but all I could concentrate on were the pictures in the background Ed had framed, of his younger self, surrounded by goofy plush cartoon dolls. I guess he doesn’t like to hide the whole “Immature narcissist” thing…just kinda puts it right out there). Liz was apprehensive at the idea of meeting new family members, being that all of the old ones couldn’t stand her. 
On another note… this episode should have had a nausea disclaimer. It really hit an all time record level with this “40 Year Old Virgin” spinoff scene, and……WHY ARE THEY EVEN ON THE SHOW?!? They’re both “St-ooop-id Americanns” (to quote the wise Mother Chantel).