Happily Ever After; S7, EP 4

Libby & Undrrrrrei:

Libby warmed up her nasal vocal cords with her voice coach as she prepared for her newest endeavor of singing children’s songs, all while wearing a matronly blouse. They started their session with the classic standard “Mary had a little lamb” (which could have been foreshadowing for Kim & Usman’s trip to the Nigeria Sacrificial Meat Market, had she replaced Mary with Kween Kimbally). The voice coach (and part time Mayor of Realsville) brought Libby down to Earth, letting her know that while she does have talent, she’s entering a very saturated market and will have to work hard producing a lot of content if she wants to really make this a thing. And that’s just what the world needs- more Libby content.

Next we saw Libby prepping Baby Eleanor on her Romanian vocabulary just in time for Undrrrrei’s father’s visit from the Moldy-O. The family had a warm reunion, as Papa Undrreeei would be staying for a few months.They took him out for a little “Welcome to America” super-sized ice cream, where Undrrrrrei filled him in on the latest Family Libby gossip. He tattle-taled to his pa-pa about all of the mean things Mother Libby had said to him, including the lowest blow; Comparing his drinking to Brother Charlie’s. Father Undrrrrei sided with his Moldy son, but noted that when someone in a community has a problem, they must all band together to help. It seems like an intervention is imminent at this point (cue the aggressive xylophone music from the “Intervention” intro). If things get out of hand, Libby could always sing a soothing rendition of the “hokey pokey” to lighten the mood, while they all fist fight in the background. 
After the ice cream/gripe session, Libby was back in her “home studio” warming up her pipes on her Casio keyboard, while Undrrrrei sung her praises, making positive comments for a change. He was getting ready to meet solo with Libby’s mother, Pam, to discuss the dinner party situation as well as what to do about Brother Chuckles. 
Pam and Undrrrrei had an awkward meeting at the local Acai bowl place, where Undrrrrei came at his mother in law with his usual Moldy intensity. Pam one again asked that everyone put their differences aside for her big milestone birthday party, which all of her other lovely children agreed to do. Undrrrrei, however, not only refused to be anywhere near Charlie, but proclaimed that Libby and Baby Eleanor would also follow suit. Mother Pam tried to make her thick headed son in law realize that he was isolating his family by banning them from attending family functions. Undrrrei had no problem forcefully telling his mother in law his “fots”, and his intention to write her off too if she didn’t respect his Moldy boundaries. I’m not saying he should choke on an acai bowl, but if he did, I wouldn’t respond.

Meemaw Angela & Papa Mykal, maybe?:

Meemaw’s ponytail bobbed up and down, wild with excitement, as she cheered on her Grids while they learned to ride two-wheelers. Though they always appreciated her dedication, the Grids were asking about Peepaw Mykal, and when he would finally be making an appearance in Hazelhurst, Georgia. It happened to be Mykal’s birthday, which would normally be a highly celebrated long distance event. This year, however, since things had been extremely tense between the two, a simple phone call would suffice. Ang’s patriotic acrylic manicure lit on of her treasured cigarettes as she rang up her long distance husband for a video chat that opened with a lukewarm “Happy Birthday.” 
Right out of the gate, Mykal complained about the lack of “happy” on his special day, due to the fact that Angela refused to send him money, which ruined his plans. The two got into a heated fight over Mykal’s Instagram account, which Angela swears he uses to lure in women. After a slew of obscenities, Angela hung up the phone, only to retrieve the returned call by Mykal, who moved on to the topic of his Visa. This only enraged Meemaw further, as she became emotionally distraught, accusing Mykal of using her and feeling as though the two had lost that lovin’ feelin’. She even walked out of her solo interview, upset at the fact that she had been both financially and emotionally invested in this relationship for 4 years, and had even gotten her grandchildren to know and love Mykal like the Peepaw they never had. 
Later on, Angela and the family went to a local country style buffet, where she tested her willpower to eat healthy-ish. Over a nice plate of salad, she discussed her Mykal troubles with her daughter, Skyla, who recommended that her mom upgrade to a new man (Perhaps Sojaboy?). As she complained about Mykal’s new social media presence and all of his female attention, Skyla reminded her mother that she is doing the same thing with her Canadian Man dancer, Billy, eh?
Feeling like she needs some kind of definitive answers about the status of their relationship, Angela decided a spur of the moment trip to Nigeria was necessary. She planned to ambush Mykal on his home turf to see if he was willing to work on salvaging their relationship, or just interested in using Instagram to get the “bj for real”.

Jenny & StooPee:

Jenny plodded through the house whining as she packed for the couples’ honeymoon (just the idea of this made me make the real life equivalent of the barf-face emoji). The two lovebirds were heading off to a romantic getaway in the India mountainside to some kind of Bollywood “Dirty Dancing”-type of resort. Sumee told his new(ish) bride that they would be able to go river rafting and bungee jumping, while Jenny just sat with a thousand yard stare, picturing something more along the lines of taking in a trashy romance novel as she sat by the pool, and maybe some light water aerobics. Jenny worried that Sumpump wouldn’t be able to let go of all of the recent drama with his mother, and it would really rain on their parade.
They arrived in the beautiful town of Rishikesh, to a very nice hotel with views of the mountainside. They were greeted by a complimentary beverage as they announced to the concierge that this trip was in honor of their honeymoon. Of course even HE was perplexed by the age gap, stating that his own family would never have accepted these Harold & Maude shenanigans. Nevertheless, he led them to the honeymoon suite, which was doused in romantic rose petals and towel swans. After the two took turns taking seductive photos on the bed for their scrapbook, they somehow landed on the topic of real life. StamPeed announced for the first time on the show that he was thinking about getting back into the working world, instead of hanging around the house as Jenny’s cabana boy all day. He was interested in starting up a food business (hopefully nothing of which will be prepared in that disgustingly filthy kitchen of theirs) which would require him to work approximately 6 days a week. He claimed that since he was in his 30’s, he needed to work and make money, instead of being one of the Golden Girls. Jenny was of course upset to hear that she may now be alone 6 days a week (especially because the week before she was pissed off about being alone for 10 minutes while Stewmeat was busy trying to get un-disowned by his family). They tried to set aside their real life worries, to further enjoy the romantic splendors of their beautiful hotel room (there’s a joke in here about Kama Sutra and Life Alert, but I don’t even have the stomach to make it). 

Big Ed & Regular Sized Liz:

Liz is still insecure and angry at the end of the photoshoot between Big Ed and her friend, Model Alex. Although Liz was visibly upset and storming off, Ed concentrated his attention on the model, ignoring Liz’s feedback and need for attention. He seemed to care more about having to haul his equipment back to the car than Liz’s tantrum, but knew his behavior would necessitate an apology. That’s it. End scene. Previews for next week show Liz telling a friend Ed wants her to lose weight. They’re not even in need of a Visa… why are they still hanging around like a piece of toilet paper on the bottom of someone’s shoe?!

Kimbally & Local Talent Supastar Sojaboy:

The couple is still at odds from last week’s conversation about becoming a family of three (because of the potential “Seeking Sisterwives” crossover). Sojaboy, having no idea of the scripted conversation, somehow used his Supanatrual Supastar powers to have pre-invited his friend Kabiru to meet Kimbally, and explain the joys of plural marriage. Unfortunately the plan seemed to backfire, as Kabiru’s explanation of “Sisterwives” did not seem to match up with the bill of goods Sojaboy had sold Kimbally. Apparently Usman wants to marry not just one additional wife, but possibly 2 or 3 more, who are all supposed to be loved equally (No “Robyns”). Kimbally became more and more upset with each revelation, especially when Kabiru proposed that Sojaboy fly to America with his children he will sire with his new mystery bae, and bring them to live with Kimbally so they could all be close. That seemed to be the final straw for the Kween, as she cursed out “Her King”, probably immediately regretting getting him that stupid bracelet. She thanked Kabiru for an enchanted evening, before splashing her drink onto the “local talent”, and storming off. “Just look at the mountain”, Kimbally. Look at it!….
Usman tried to clean the milkshake off of his person, feeling as though he may have to end things with Kimbally after this disrespectful display. They headed back to the hotel in tension, as Kimbally proclaimed to be “Mother Debbie Done” with their relationship. Much like her first trip to Africa, Kimbally ended the evening by trying to scrounge up some extra couch coins to change her flight home to ASAP. 

B-Lull & Shy-duh:

Though the “Oasis of Sophistication” and all of its stark neutral minimalism seems to be at the peak of class and style, Shy-duh decided she would like to add her own personal touches (ya know, a bit of beige to really spice things up). The couple took a shopping trip to a local furniture shop to try and find a pulse for this season. The two perused gently around the store, scared off by most of the price tags (probably would have been cheaper to shop at Patrick & Thigh’s yard sale and brought home that colorful vase…really ties a room together). Shyduh somehow mosied into the baby/children’s department of the store, ignoring Bilal’s insistence that they not even look. Shyduh gushed over all of the cute tiny-people items, reminding everyone about her clause in the prenup that Bilal has to be fruitful and multiply by the time she’s 40, or else. She suggested that the two see a fertility specialist, fearing that her age of 37 could already be a factor (though probably less of a factor than his suspected vasectomy). 

After the shopping experience, B-lull went to a local soup kitchen where his mother volunteers to discuss the baby-making situation. His mother seems to relate to where Shyduh is coming from, hearing her biological clock ticking loud and clear. Bilal doesn’t feel ready to reproduce with his Caribbean Queen just yet, but they share the same dream. With two hearts that beat as one (yes, this segment was so boring that I just decided to type out Lionel Richie lyrics). The end.