The Other Way; S4, EP 11

Jenny & Stringcheese:

Since the parental visit has been somewhat of a disaster, Scrapheap decided to call for backup by way of the family’s personal astrologer. They all sat down together to read their collective charts and try to get Mother Swapmeet to take things down a notch. The astrologer wasted no time letting Mother Smee know that she’s been somewhat of a buttinsky, and that she’d better back off and let her son marry the crypt keeper, as per “the stars’” special directions. He reminded her to trust fate, and be thankful that Jenny doesn’t want to tote an egg. The wise old astrologer (who has been with the family for 30 years but looked to be about 50 years old… maybe he was a Doogie Houser child prodigy astrologer??) told Mother Smee that she should not try to “teach” Jenny anything, but rather spend time with the couple to “live, laugh, love” (He saw that one on a sign in a Home Goods on the rickshaw ride over to the house). Jenny and RunaroundSue(meet) were relieved to finally have someone on their side to influence the parents and let them live their strange, happy, life together in their dirty house. (I thought I saw Jenny slip the astrologer a $20 before he left…). The astrologer could have made one phone call to the Parents Somefeet the LAST time he was on the show and told them all of this information and saved us all from a nasal cleaning viewing party…

After the astrologer finished dropping his truth bomb, the parents SueMe collected themselves and asked to speak with their elder-in-law alone. It seemed that they decided to work a new angle, “kill her with kindness” (unless she dies of natural causes or samosa poisoning first). They told Jenny they will no longer stand in the way, and that they love her so much, even solidifying things by hugging her. Jenny, who was over the moon with the change of heart, wasted no time asking if this new outlook meant they would give their blessings for marriage, to which she received a “meh” answer. The Parents Chopmeat decided to stay indifferent on the marriage situation, leaving it up to the Gods (and secretly knowing deep down that SueMe would drag his StankFeet anyway).
After their emotional conversation, they all returned to find Sou-pee sweeping leaves and sinus blockages from the front patio. He seemed genuinely relieved to hear that his parents had agreed to come around, but realized this meant he had to come up with a new excuse for holding up the wedding plans. He hugged his parents for a game well played.
Next Jenny and Sumit went outside on the patio to celebrate the festival of Holi, which involves covering each other with brightly colored powders made from flowers (I’m going to need a Benadryl, a Tide pen, and a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, stat). Once they both looked like a Lisa Frank folder came to life, they had a serious conversation about the timeline for their marriage now that the family disapproval excuse was null and void. Ovenmitt suggested one more trip to the astrologer before booking any venues or hiring any elephants. He gave Jenny some lame speech about wanting to make sure it was the right time (but maybe next week he can just tell her he can’t marry her because “Mike Jones’” parents don’t approve. Gotta keep up with the Joneses!) This segment was sponsored by Tide detergent. You can wash your Holi clothes and Neti string at the same time and the colors won’t run.

Snorey & Evilone:

Meanwhile, back in Engabao…..
Since Evilone had decided to accept Corey’s groveling and let him back into her hammock, he felt it was the right time to re-propose. Mustering up the five Spanish words he knew, he headed over to where else but the famous litter box shores of Engabao to find some local fisherman and coerce them into holding up a sign that read “WILL YOU KEEP BEING MEAN TO ME FOREVER, EVILONE, AGAIN?” (He had it made on Etsy, by Father Armando). 
Once the plan was set, he went to get Evelin for a romantic walk to the beach (hopefully watching where they stepped… ). Evelin expressed her approval for the effort Corey had been putting into sucking up to her over the last few weeks, and it seemed as though her majesty had forgiven him for the time being. Corey brought her to the water’s edge as he gazed with his goofy grin out into the sea. He directed Evelin’s attention to the janky fishing boat out in the murky water, as she squinted to read the sign. She seemed genuinely surprised by the conusing yet somewhat romantic gesture, and agreed to continue being married. Corey was down on one knee, clutching yet another bouquet of local Engabao weeds, and was thrilled to hear her decision. This segment was sponsored by Fresh Step Litter, the official beachfront litter of Engabao. 

Ariela & Biniyam:

Ari and the Positive Gangster packed up all of their gear in preparation for the big trip to Kenya. After all of her phone calls and text had been ignored, Ariela felt like this trip to Kenya may be the only saving grace for her and Biniyam’s relationship. Ariela refused to go back to Ethiopia, as she felt Biniyam had turned their home into a flop house and had been butt bongoing strange women in her absence. Mother Ariela decided to tag along for support and babysitting duties. Ariela chose Mombasa, citing it as the place where Avi was conceived, which may have made it to their tourism website. She decided to rent an apartment there for three months in hopes that she and Bini could work things out. 
Bini arrived at the apartment for an awkward reunion, bypassing any pleasantries towards Ariela and went straight to playing with baby Avi, who definitely remembered him. Mother Ariela cut the tension by blurting out that they were both very tired from traveling, and should really get some rest.The next morning, Ari had hired a translator to accompany her and Biniyam so they could discuss the state of their relationship. She explained the role of the interpreter as someone who could help elaborate on what she was trying to say, since half of the time Biniyam tries to blame a lot of things as misinterpretations. Ari and Biniyam sat down with a translator to discuss their problems (though the translator looked a lot like Bini’s buttbongo partner, and he was probably sitting there wondering if he could test them out).
Ariela started the conversation by trying to get to the bottom of Bini shutting off his phone and refusing to speak to her while she was out of town. He skirted around the issue by telling her that she was being mean so he didn’t want to chat. She then moved on to the eye witness accounts of strange women being brought into their home multiple times. Of course Biniyam’s logical excuse for this was that they were “clients”, as he and his friend had set up a makeshift “studio” out of the house. The translator maybe said two sentences before taking out her bucket of popcorn to watch the couple fight, while simultaneously taking a lunch break. Ariela cried real big Darcey tears, as she claimed to feel sorry for Biniyam, who couldn’t manage to give her a straight answer. 
This segment was sponsored by Jihoon, who stopped by to remind you that this is probably all his fault. 

Karmando:

Kenny headed to the airport to pick up ⅓ of his triplet daughters, Madison, and his grandson Cooper. It was an emotional reunion for Kenny as this was the first time seeing them in a  year and half from the pandemic. Madison and Cooper flew in before the rest of the clan a few days early so they could spend some time together before the wedding madness kicked in. Cooper immediately recognized and ran to his “Grampy”, who lunged down in his skinny jeans to scoop up his Coop. 
Once back at the casa (that’s house, Kenny), Cooper got to meet his new step-aunt Hannah, and new Papa Armando. Kenny and Madison had some time alone to talk about the wedding and Kenny’s homesick blues. He explained to his daughter that he doesn’t feel truly accepted by the family Armando, especially Father Armando and his judgy crystal necklaces. Madison (who looks like she’s in pain being on television), sat quietly, letting him vent before the typical cry/hug portion of their segment.
The next day at breakfast (that’s desayuno, Kenny) Armando recanted his anxiety over whether or not his father would be coming to the wedding for Kenny’s daughter Madison, who repeatedly said “That sucks” with zero expression. The suspense was killing Armando as he waited for his family to arrive in town, not knowing which family members would be in attendance in the family coche (that’s car, Kenny). He was thrilled to learn that his father had left the house unattended and made the drive over, though I’m sure there will still be some drama over whether or not he will be able to leave the condo (because Father Armando is a reina del drama (That’s drama queen, Kenny) . Cue happy tears. This segment was sponsored by Kleenex. Kleenex, the official tissue of team Karmando.

Steven & Alina:

The newly engaged couple seemed to be getting along for the time being (why, I’m still not quite sure). Since Steve-O has been taking his sweet time getting all of the documents in order for the couple to head back to Russia, Alina has been feeling lonely. She has taken to playing with local feral cats, which all seem more fun and interesting to be with than Steven… and definitely have better hair.
After contracting rabies and possibly fleas, she went home to hopefully spread the love to Steven. The couple discussed the one month deadline for their wedding in order to be able to move back to Mother Russia. Steven expressed his hesitation to marry Alina before she is baptized, thinking that she may just be marrying him for his hot bod and skiddlypoop skills and forgetting her commitment to becoming a Sisterwife (If things don’t work out with Steven, I heard there was an open lot down at Coyote Pass, not near the trees and facing the mountains). 
This segment was sponsored by no one, because all of the sponsors were annoyed by Steven, even in his minimal appearance on this week’s episode.