Love After Lockup, EP 15

Life after lockup

Destinie & Shawn:

Shawn opens the door for production, questionably without pants on, might I add… telling the crew that Destinie went AWOL. Apparently she took all of her stuff and just left. He tried calling her cell phone multiple times, but without luck. He then finds a wrapper for a pregnancy test, confirming that there is a possibility that they could be having a little Shawnstenie since they of course refrained from any form of birth control (though you’d think Shawn’s dirt-stache would be all the birth control one would need).The production crew tells Shawn they will work hard towards locating his fiance/ potential baby mama, and happen to meet up with her outside of a gas station. Destinie had apparently high tailed it out of Vegas, sick of dealing with Shawn’s lies, but not sick of his credit card, which she was using to purchase her roadtrip gas. As she was driving, she progressively started to feel worse and worse, worrying that she might be experiencing what she described as an “eggotopic pregnancy” (which is when you are pregnant with an Eggo waffle) and it’s actually very dangerous. Since she had experienced this type of pain with a previous eggotopic pregnancy, she realized she should head to the hospital. Production decided to step in and help her by giving her a ride, as her condition was worsening. Hopefully she’s able to leggo my eggo  by next week. 

Michael & Sarah….and Malcolm in the Middle:

After baby Rayne’s birthday party last episode, Michael is still mad over Sarah trying to take the party as an opportunity to introduce him to her new boyfriend Malcolm. Michael decides that the best and most logical way to reconnect with his “pretty girls” is to put on a “furries”-esque bear costume and waltz right into Sarah’s conveniently unlocked house. As luck would have it, Sarah’s new boyfriend, Malcolm, had just run out to grab bagels when Michael arrived, making it extra awkward when he returned only to see Sarah’s furry baby daddy sitting in the living room. (Michael had a very Nicholas Cage in the remake of “The Wickerman”, thing going on, and I’m sure he’ll have a bunch of ladies chasing him around in the bear suit trying to sacrifice him in no time). Michael Rukspin and Malcolm had a sit down conversation about what’s going on, and actually seemed to get along fairly well. 
Shortly after, Michael left the house, leaving Sarah and Malcolm to talk about the bizarre situation that just took place. Sarah started out by explaining why she is so bothered and emotional about Michael, causing her infamous accent to make an appearance. Malcolm tried to explain that he needs to trust her, and though she does claim to be done and no longer wants to “explode like a gusher”, she and Michel had a baby together only a year ago. She claims to be all in when it comes to her relationship with Malcolm, and will try to show less emotion towards the Michael-bear.

Andrea & Lamar:

Lamar is spending a little quality time with the couple’s youngest daughter, Priscilla (who was conceived in a prison closet…neither here nor there), showing her all of his prison tattoos, featuring a graveyard design of lost loved ones, and going through old family memorabilia. They happened to stumble upon a top secret photo album that contained photos of Lamar’s older daughter, who I believe is now grown with kids of her own. He tells Priscilla all about her sister, swearing her to secrecy, as he knows Andrew would fly off the handle if she knew. His older daughter, Shante, was born out of his pre-prison relationship when he was 16 years old, and they unfortunately never got the chance to have a real father/daughter relationship. Shante reluctantly agrees to meet up with her dad and new sister, though it is clear that she feels conflicted about letting them in.

Brittany & Marcellino:

It’s Brittany’s “dirty 30” birthday party, and she is thrilled to be free from prison and not pregnant for the special occasion! Marcellino threw her a party at their house with a few close friends which of course included Amanda, her former prison girlfriend. The party seemed like a real rager until Brittany’s sister asked if she had heard from their mom, who is currently struggling with addiction. The conversation put Brittany in an introspective mood, eventually ending in a full blown crying episode. Brittany’s younger sister did tell her that she thinks of big sister Britt as her role model, impressed with all of the improvements she has made in her life. Brittany started to cry uncontrollably, which bothered Marcellino, as he had put a lot of effort into making her party a fun and drama-free experience. He tried to lighten the mood by smashing her birthday cake into her face playfully, though he missed, getting most of the frosting stuck in her 20 ft of hair. Brittany did not seem to appreciate the gesture, running to the bathroom to rinse out the frosting, as she had just had a $130 blow out that day (as a hairstylist, I could sympathize with the person who spent all of the time and energy that went into Rapunzel’s blow out). She cursed Marcellino out, even though he really was just trying to get her to have fun, causing him to storm out of the house, pissed off. 

Quaylon & Shovel:

Shovel is tearing up the house, flaming mad, throwing all of Quaylon’s qulothing out of the window in a fit of rage. After noticing that Quaylon seemed a little distant lately, she decided to go through his phone to find out the real story. Once the investigation began, she found a bunch of messages to women, one in particular where a woman mentioned she wanted some of Quaylon’s eggplant emoji. Shovel decided to quall this mystery woman to confront her and see if she could learn more, but the woman was very ambiguous and Shovel eventually hung up. Once Quay returned to their apartment quamplex, they had a big fight outside (which I would have enjoyed immensely if I was a neighbor). Shovel was gesturing wildly, yelling at Quaylon about all of the messages she had found, while he stood by quietly, seeming like he was either doing a crossword puzzle or playing candy crush on his phone while waiting for her to finish. It seems for now that Shovel is finished, telling Quaylon to hit the bricks. She feels like she did her part by “holding down” his front, back, as well as his sides while he was in prison, and deserves better than this. Quaylon maintains his innocence by stating “What, am I supposed to have a bunch of dudes’ phone numbers in my phone?!”, which, he has a point…. None the less, Shavel wanted him gone and sent him on his quay.

Lindsey & Scott:

Scott took Lindsey to a used car lot to shop for her luxury dream car. Apparently they did not have anything to suit her champagne taste or Scott’s shoestring budget, as they appeared to walk away empty handed. After that, Lindsey lets Scott know that she has booked a photoshoot with a photographer she had worked with in the past to help start rebuilding her modeling portfolio. Scott was concerned that the photographer may have ulterior motives, and that he may not approve of the style of the shoot. He tried to talk Lindsey out of this new career move by convincing her that she’s too old to model, and it’s probably not a viable source of income. Lindsey persisted, nonetheless, as she is looking for a hustle to become more financially independent, since Scott did not follow through on his promise to make her a partner in his business and in charge of financials, as he had promised. When they arrived at the studio, the photographer, Doug, who looked like a clean cut kind of guy, welcomed both Scott and Lindsey inside. Lindsey wasted no time letting Doug know that the gap in her modeling resume was due to her little 4 year prison stint, causing a well deserved awkward pause. Before the shoot started, Scott asked to speak with Doug privately, to make sure he was up to his standards of professionalism. After answering a few brief questions, Scott gave the go ahead for Doug to begin his photographing Lindsey, who brought a wide range of her best fly girl outfits to choose from. Between the eyebrow ring and the car-applied eyeshadow, she was ready to give any cover girl a run for their money.

After the shoot, we saw Lindsey (who was dressed like a meth addicted Bratz Doll) bring Mylie Grace upstairs to unveil her brand new bedroom, which was what every young girl dreamed of!! (……except for the fact that it was in her mom’s prison pen pal boyfriend’s house…most girls leave that part out of the dream). Since things seemed to be on an uptick, Lindsey decided it was the perfect time to discuss a new scheme she was hatching. She met up with Scott outside and brought up the idea of having her friend Tarabelle move her RV into their driveway, because everything about this sounds like a solid plan….Scott didn’t really even seem to think twice before agreeing to this new hookup (as in, hooking up her RV to his house’s utilities), which made Lindsey over the moon happy. The happiness, though nice while it lasted, faded, as Mylie Grace headed off to a friends’ for the weekend, and she and Scott finally had alone time. Most likely to avoid physical contact with him, Lindsey picked a fight, once again bringing up the fact that Scott had invaded her privacy and read through her top secret prison diaries. She also accused him of checking her pockets, and contacting her old boyfriends on Facebook to get some insight into her character. Though no one could blame Scott for prying a bit, as it’s fairly obvious and even confessed by Tarabile that Lindsey is out for herself, he committed to being with her and should at least be more discreet about his snooping. Lindsey, who is very squirrely while she’s talking and has some kind of annoying childlike affect to her speech patterns, seems to be deflecting any of Scott’s doubt by claiming that she has invested two years of her prison sentence, in which she gave up plenty of other penpal creeps to stay committed to him. Can’t wait to see more logic and reason next week….

Mama Lacy & Papa Chain:

The couple was sitting in their bedroom having a very intellectual conversation about their triplet pregnancy. Lacy was last told that the IVF embryo transplant worked a little too well, as the couple were pregnant with triplets. Lacy is worried how they will financially be able to support an additional 3 new babies, along with her other 3 kids, while Daddy Chain is trying to figure out how much 3 + 3 equals. The couple discussed the difficulties of financially supporting such a large brood, since Chain’s felon status limits his work options (though he can still sell “Scentsy”) and a pregnant Lacy is only appealing to a pregnancy fetish cam audience at the moment.
They get to go to an ultrasound appointment together, the first that Chain has been able to attend since Covid, and Lacy confirms it’s not the kind of appointment with the “dildo”, it’s the kind that goes over her belly. Momma knows best.
Things took a sad turn unfortunately at the appointment, as the ultrasound revealed only one of the three embryos was viable, and the identical twins did not make it. It was a very difficult thing for Lacy and Chain to hear, though they considered themselves lucky to have the one embryo remaining with a strong heartbeat. You know the world is truly upside down when the “Lacy & Chain” segment feels the most wholesome.
But don’t worry, Mom and Pop didn’t keep it wholesome for long, as in their next segment, they discussed the idea of a baby moon, explaining that both of their “nether regions” were experiencing an increase of blood flow. And there went my Thanksgiving dinner…..