Love After Lockup; S3, EP 11

John & Kristianna:

John is starting his new career as a life coach/ bed and breakfast manager as he invites his brand new inlaws to live with him. His braided pigtails were accompanied by festive streamers which flowed in the breeze as he gave Kristianna’s mother and sister the “grand tour”. The house had a unique decorating scheme that mostly consisted of action figures in fish tanks, along with various masks and gloves hanging on the wall (hopefully no one reaches for some ice cream in the middle of the night… they might accidentally grab that eagle wing in the freezer or walk right into the dangling fly paper from the first episode). Just as John was giving his “welcome home” speech and about to discuss his turn down service, the halfway house called. Kristianna apparently has escaped due to a relapse. John decided he was going to go driving around town aimlessly looking for Kristianna, and ultimately ended up finding her, late at night, outside of an empty shopping center. Through tears, Kristianna explains that she relapsed, but realized she can’t keep doing this. She got in John’s truck (which appropriately had a “Bonnie & Clyde” sticker on the back) and headed home for the night. John wanted to take the night to decide if they were going to go on the lam or if Kristianna was going back to the slammer. There’s probably less flypaper in prison, and John’s house is almost booked to maximum capacity. 

Heather & Dylan:

Still driving again from last week, Heather & Dylan pull up to the house just in time to catch his parole officer, who seemed less than thrilled that Dylan had messed up on his first day out. Thank goodness for that bitch, Aunt Diane and her meddling phone call! Dylan graciously thanked Aunt D as Heather carried in his luggage and corralled him into the bedroom so she could attack him like a prey mantis, while Aunt Diane sits in the kitchen, turning up the old hearing aids to an 11 to enjoy the show.

Scott & Lindsey:

Prison Princess Lindsey is on a tear, after Scott had violated her privacy by going through her personal prison effects last week. He apparently found a quote written down in her notebook about using rich men for money. Lindsey is in fact so mad, that she called the halfway house to see about transferring her address to her mother’s house (because that poor woman hasn’t dealt with enough already). Realizing that the transfer will take days, Lindsey tries to calmly talk to Scott, reassuring him that she is not using him for money, as he doesn’t even have enough.
Scott consoles a crying Lindsey, trying to calm her down and make up, probably hoping to get the chance for another roll on the carpet. Lindsey says that she wants to work things out with him, but also admits to production that her 5’x8’ closet has a lot of skeletons in it, which are none of Scott’s business. 

Shawn & Destinie’s Child:

Shawn is pacing in his lumpy jeans in front of the courthouse, waiting for Destinie to show up and save his $50k. After she ignores all of his phone calls and fails to send a text, she finally rolls up with her sister to the courthouse parking lot. Destinie admits that in her former life, she  would have skipped the court date and wound up back in the slammer. But the new and improved Destinie wants to make a real change in her life, so she decided to show up and face the music, so she will be free to drink and gamble. Previews for this week looked ominous, as we saw her leaving the courthouse in tears though unclear if they were happy or sad. 

Tyrice & Chanda:

Tyrice is working on his physique, admitting that he still hasn’t heard from Chanda, who has apparently ghosted him. Production finally caught up with an M.I.A. Chanda to ask her where it all went wrong. As suspected, the nail in the coffin for this relationship ultimately was the ill fitting  blue suit and matching shoes. She realized that she couldn’t be attracted to someone who wore a baggy blue suit in public, and felt they just didn’t have chemistry. Production finally convinced her to make that fateful phone call to Tyrice to bring him up to speed. She explained that she was sorry, and just needed to focus on straightening out her life right now, but gave him the friendzone option. Tyrice declined, hanging up the phone and discussing his new plan to meet himself a new big bootied woman in the free world this time. I wish him luck for the future, and hope on the next dating site he goes on, he makes his profile picture one of him wearing the blue suit so he only attracts women who appreciate all of its splendor.

Jessica & Maurice:

Jess & Mo headed back over to Jessica’s parents’ house to hang out for the day. Having just found out that she was pregnant, Jessica wanted to wait to have the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor before telling her family, and made Maurice promise to keep the news a secret. Maurice and Jessica’s dad decided to play shop class in the garage, teaching Maurice how to weld so he could add something besides “tallest Compton Crip” to his resume.
The two men have a heart to heart, where the subject of having children arises. Maurice couldn’t help himself, as he seemed to be bursting with excitement, and he let the news slip to the grandpa-to-be. Jessica’s dad seemed more concerned than excited, as Maurice is still just fresh out of prison, and not yet able to provide for his family. Maurice seemed a little disappointed at his lack of enthusiasm, but decided to ask for Jessica’s hand in already-marriage. Jessica’s father put Maurice to the test, but loaning him money to buy Jessica a nice engagement ring, instead of the tab from a Coke can that he gave her in prison.