Darcey & Stacey, How did I make it to double digits- episode 10?!

This episode started with Darcey looking troubled (while her boobs were bursting out of her top) over hearing the news that her sexy Bolgarian, Georgi with the good hair, is still legally married. Though he had claimed to have told her this information the first time they had met, she clearly was so smitten, that she conveniently forgot. Apparently he had married a model he had worked with after 6 months and parted ways after a few short years. They are currently separated and working on finalizing their divorce, when Coronavirus hit and things came to a halt. Darcey is having a hard time processing this information. She is for some reason worried about her daughters finding out that Georgi is still married, yet conveniently had no issues worrying what they’d think of her leaving them during a pandemic to live with some new guy….

Darcey traveled via piggyback ride into the Connecticut wilderness to take a hike with Georgi. They found a picturesque spot to sit and talk. She heard church bells off in the distance, which of course signalled her brain to mention getting married, and from there her synapses fired off another snide comment about Georgi not yet being divorced. (Do you think “How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days” was based off of Darcey’s actual life??)

Meanwhile, Stacey and her pet zombie Florian are heading out for breakfast, having a little Dunkin Donuts action. Stacey sounded like she was talking to a little kid as she asked Flo what he wanted for breakfast, which he responded  “Brrrrraaaaaaains!!!!” but ultimately settled for a  strawberry frosted donut (my personal favorite donut. Florian and I have this in common, yesss my angel!).

Later on, the couples planned to have a double date picnic so Stace and Florian could meet Georgi. The newlyweds arrived at the picnic destination first, where Stacey prepped Florian, encouraging him to be more talkative and engaged and show a little more cleavage in his ill fitting Euro tee, as she knew the theme of the afternoon’s festivities was “Who’s MANnequin in hotter”. Flo claims not to care about what Darcey thinks, and is only attending the picnic for his angel…..and the possibility of more strawberry frosted donuts (Florian runs on Dunkin’). Darcey  

Arrived looking like she just came straight from a Donatella Versace look alike contest, with her one remaining extension acting as a whole entire extra long ponytail, being the lone survivor of a once entire civilization of extensions. 

Darcy must’ve said to herself “I’m going on a picnic and I’m going to bring….cheeseballs, a volleyball, and a European goofball (in a snakeskin accented tracksuit). The couples finally got to meet, with Florian making sure to scan everyone’s foreheads to check for temperature, and then said “good” (thank you, Lurch). After getting clearance from Floor, Georgi hugged Stacey hello, while Darcey bluntly asked if her sister’s boobs felt the same as hers. Once they were seated on the blanket, Stacey worked so hard to make it sound like she was having an amazing time in “Florantine” (that’s when you’re on lockdown with Florian).

Darcey thought she’d lighten up the mood of the picnic by diving right into the topic of Georgi’s pending divorce. Of course you know this made Stacey secretly happy, because #twinfights.

Stacey segued with “speaking of being married… we’re married”. Darcey looked shocked and annoyed, pretended to be congratulatory, but moved quickly into asking if they had ‘moved past the trust issues. Darcey then asked Stacey to accompany her privately, so she could hurry up and show her the Florian hotel videos to rain on her parade. Stacey was crushed, as she cried and hugged Darcey, who seemed to feel bad, but was slightly enjoying it. 

Stacey stormed away from the picnic to her car, and drove off leaving Florian in the parking lot. He had a screaming outburst with production, saying something about “respecting the mic” as he ripped off his ace bandage he had on under his baby-tee and returned all equipment. 

Darcey and Georgi rolled up to collect him and gave him a ride back to their compound. 

The episode ended with a distraught Stacey crying in her bed, heartbroken. Next time someone wants to play the Silva edition of “I’m going on a picnic”, they’d better say “I’m bringing tissues”.