NEW 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?
Happily Ever After; Tell All-Part 3
Angela was still on fire from the second part of the Tell All, after Michael suggested that the couple had a baby “the other way” (which he didn’t really have time to explain in depth). Angela was convinced Michael planned on impregnating another woman and went wild screaming and even walking off the Zoom chat. Skyla was siding with her mother, trying to point out that Angela isn’t the only one that has to just respect their partner’s culture and desires. Angela made a cameo on Skyla’s zoom video as she was seen in the background yelling and trying to calm herself down. Once she regained some composure, she came back to discuss the “being submissive” topic with Aunt Lydia for the 300th time.
It seemed like all of the female cast members agreed that “being submissive” wasn’t in the cards. Angela is back and forth on the topic of putting so much effort into having a baby due to her age, and feels as though she would like to travel and enjoy being married instead.
The “having babies” topic seems to be popular, as Shaun brought it up to Cinnamon and Tania, who is ready to donate her eggs to the Michael/Angela cause (they of course Angela politely declined, and would rather shake Skyla upside down until she finally lays an egg instead). Synonym, on the other hand, claims to not want children at all. He feels like he has more of his own soul searching to do without having 2 soul-sucking non-soulmate Tanias (one mini and one full sized) weighing him down.Tania, who claims to still be a “free spirit” (but with a Pinterest Vision Board for her life goals) keeps trying to play it off like shes “easy breezy”, but in reality, she is as uptight as I can only imagine Larissa’s wedgies in all of that spandex must be. Meanwhile, I have an idea for a new spinoff…..”90 Days of Wife Swap”. Angela and Cinnabon can travel the world, flipping their hair, drinking beer and eatin’ cake, while Tania and Michael procreate and she tries to explain gender roles to Aunt Lydia. And that was my million dollar idea for the day.
Somehow the baby-making question gets thrown to Eric-ee and Larissa, who claim they would have a baby together, but only if they were married, as Larissa is a strict Catholic-ee (with morals, beech). Larissa discussed her immigrations status and receiving her work permit, though she is still waiting to hear more on her case. When asked if she had a backup plan, Eric-ee (being the jokester that he is) got down on one knee and pretended to propose, then said “Psych!” Good one! (Just never pull that stunt with Darcey…)
Shaun brought up the issues the couple had early in the season, when Larissa had found out that Eric had talked about intimate details of their relationship with a random girl, Nathalie.
After replaying the clips from the show, they brought Nathalie on the zoom chat to discuss her conversations with Eric-ee, which proved to be the most pointless plot point yet. Though she didn’t go into details and mostly yelled, Nathalie claimed she felt sad for Larissa, as she is with a man who said awful things about the couples’ private life to other people, and it seemed as though she had no self worth. Larissa defended her man and focussed on being nasty to Nathalie, who claimed she was only trying to exercise girl code. Eric-ee was gesturing wildly as he tried to brush off his smack-talk, mentioned something about pizza, and then Shaun dismissed Nathalie (who could have used half of Larissa’s eye makeup). Compelling.
They then moved on to the topic of Eric and Colt-ee’s “I hate Larissa “ fan club meeting over a delicious spaghetti dinner, provided by Chef BoyarDeb. (I’m kind of surprised they didn’t have meatloaf, as it only seems appropriate that Colt would scream across the house “Ma!!! The Meatloooaf!!!) Eric claimed to want to compare notes about Colt-ee and Larissa’s relationship, as it was a major topic of conversation in his own relationship with the Queen. Shaun tried to question Eric-ee about his motives for wanting this meeting of the minds, and what was discussed, but he skirted around the details.
The conversation moved on to Jess, who is trying to make Coltee-boy and Debbie a distant memory. She then mentions that she in fact has a new guy, who happens to be some kind of werewolf. Her new man, Brian, comes into the zoom-square with his full beard and fluffy 90’s hair, and appears to be a cross between the classic version of the Brawny paper towel man and Florian. Jess gushes as she strokes his facial hair and says weird things like “He no is Lie-boy” and “He is good boy, and I’m good girl”. Jess revealed that she and the bearded wonder actually got married after three weeks, due to her Visa expiring, and even showed off some wedding photos. Of course Colt-ee looked shocked, congratulating Jess on her new green card. Apparently the new lovebirds met indirectly though Larissa and Carmen, who seem to be running some kind of Brazillian underground dating railroad.
As Shaun tries to wind down the third installment of this never ending Tell-All, She asks the couples what the future holds. Anglea drops a bomb on Michael that she will be having weight loss surgery, and he is not on board, as he claims to “like big things”. Larissa of course is a big fan of this idea (although you’d think she’d be team Michael, as she likes things “More Bigee”). Angela thinks this surgery will help her feel more sexy, and seems to have her mind set. Lastly, Shaun turns to poor Kalani, who is sitting there solo, without Asuelu or a popcorn bin, uncertain of what will become of her marriage.
In conclusion, this was one of the worst Tell Alls ever, and I pretty much wanted to quit watching it. Then I saw the came knick knack on the shelf behind Shaun’s head and it was a reminder of simpler times, when Nicole and Azan struggled through the desert, and I heard Azan say to me personally “Almost there, lazy”. The. End.
Thank you for watching and summarizing on my behalf. After that first waste of two hours, I could not commit to another minute of this dull, slow tell-all. I LOVE your recaps!
Brilliantly written as usual!
Nice summation! I love your posts..
Only you can make the most boring 3 shows entertaining. You must be a magician…or a comedienne!
Your hysterical comments are a million times more entertaining than that snooze of a show! Waiting for your take on the episode is becoming the only reason I even watch it anymore – thanks for the laughs we really need now!
thank you so much!!❤
Bravo! Once again you nailed it. Can you imagine if this was a cartoon and you were the narrator? It would be extra!
All things are put on hold until I read every word!
Loved it as usual!!
Oh Erica only YOU could salvage this steaming pile of a Tell All, Part All 3…I read you summation and wish I had a pencil so I could underline and star the particularly delicious morsels….like Angela shaking Skyla upside down till she LAYS an egg 😂😂😂😂
Some kind of werewolf HAHAHAHA!!!!
As usual, perfect! You should be a writer on the show!
Perfectly funny and accurate!
I can only applaud your awesomeness…I love these updates just as much as (possibly even more than) the show itself.