Darcey & Stacey: Why am I on Episode 5?

Darcey and Georgi are laying in bed after a wild night that she can’t stop awkwardly talking about. Between the corny comments, and “wow you’re really real” “mmm you’re so perfect” whispers, and the camera angle focusing on his nipple, it was a cringefest. Darcey feels that this “too good to be true” Georgi character is the perfect catch, but worries that relocating to L.A. will affect her new fairytale. Luckily for Darcey, there is still a need for ponytailed Bulgarian massage therapists on the west coast, so Georgi-boy is down for moving. 

Stacey and Florian (who my computer wants to autocorrect to “Florida”…and I’m going to let it) went to get pumped at the gym. Stacey bragged about Florian’s skeleton-like physique, and zero percent body fat. Floribama Shore spotted his “angel” as she attempted to lift weights and get more “snatched”. While Florida was holding a dumbbell over his head (no, not Stacey….the exercise equipment ), his “angel” brings up the idea of moving to L.A. to focus on the Silva family legacy, House of Eleven. Florian explains that “for me is no more important, understand?” which I didn’t fully understand, followed by “squash it understand?” for more clarification. After reviewing the footage multiple times, I believe he was angry that Darcey is pushing Stacey to rush into making changes, when he has just arrived and is adjusting. He isn’t even mad at Stacey, though he seemed really mad, but I think that’s just his winning personality.

Back at the house, Darcey is spending a little quality time with her parents and brings up the idea of moving to L.A. Papa Silva is not a fan of Lala land, and questions if Darcey has thought this through. He explained that he was an initial investor of House of Eleven, but was disappointed when the twins’ interests in the fashion brand dropped off….. (and turned to young foreign men). He claimed he would cheer Darcey on, but not financially invest in the Ho11 Reboot.

Next up, Darcey and Stacey are fake baking in preparation for their trip to California, and have a bizarre conversation about their shaving patterns, describing missed hair as “scraggles” (which is ironically a great name for their new line of extensions). The twins were joined by their two friends, and Darcey headed up the conversation, gushing over her night with Georgi. Darcey’s bff Reina is skeptical of his intentions, but admits that she prefers anything over a crying Darcey- don’t we all. Then we got to watch them make complete fools of themselves by getting spray tanned in their bikinis in the front yard….this qualifies as quality television.

In the next segment, Darcy’s hair is looking 2 levels lighter blonde as she learns that Stacey has selected a wedding dress without her. She felt slighted, as she explains that they have always done everything together, including working at Hooters after college (though not making the cut for the calendar, but still getting great tips). Darcey also talked about her first job at McDonalds as a drive thru attendant, where she claims to have also gotten great tips (or possibly admitted to stealing money from the “Ronald McDonald House” donation box, thinking it was a tip jar). 

Somehow all of this side conversation was at the same time as discussing Stacey’s poofy wedding dress, and how she and Darcey have varying opinions on it

Their dreams of their Hollywood life were put on hold, when their father came in to tell them how serious Coronavirus was getting, and how it would be bad timing for them to travel. The twins agreed to postpone their trip for now until things seem more safe.

In conclusion, there was not enough Florian temper tantrums for my liking. This episode was not as good as the last, and pretty much lost my attention. However, the previews do look promising. They include: things getting intense with Georgi on date 3 (REALLY???), and more information being revealed about Floribama and his Albanian photo scandal. Will watch next week, understand?! Goodbye my angels.