Darcey & Stacey, Uncategorized
Darcey & Stacey, I’ve made it to Episode 4:
Stacey went to check on Borian after he freaked out over dinner with the girlfriends. Florian’s responses are kind of the best thing ever, since he’s mostly yelling and every other word is “understand”. Her friend Reina (of “Be Strong, Bitch” from Before the 90 Days) and the other friend with the chunky highlights seemed rightfully concerned for Stacey and her engagement to this raging weirdo.
Darcey cleaned her car with a wad of 4 paper towels, wiping the outside and inside with the same wad (and not even on the bias). Doing this activity made her reflect on her therapy session and what she wants out of life (#deepcarwashthoughs). She is excited to meet up with her new man candy in New York City and see where things go.
Darcey and Stacey went to get a pedicure together, both splurging for the callus remover to get the barnacles off of their heels, as they discussed the future of their legacy; their fashion line House of Elven (or Ho11). Though they had taken a hiatus from the business to focus on their relationships with narcissistic international catfish love interests, they feel it’s time to jump back in and move to L.A.
Darcey takes her daughters ice skating (basically for the audiences’ benefit, watching her fall multiple times and skate around like an angry muppet) before she brings up the subject of moving. The girls are on board, being that their mom now has her own spinoff show which in turn is getting their otherwise boring Tiktok videos a lot of likes. Or, because they “support her dreams” or something. Who cares, more Florian, please!
Meanwhile, Florian wants to apologize for being a horribly angry, grumpy troll by going to the grocery store and buying a lot of strawberries. He plans to arrange candles, flowers, strawberries, and teddy bears around the apartment to surprise Stacey, Understand?!!
He’s not a man of many words, but rather a man of action.
Stacey of course loved her Rediwhip and strawberries, as the producers force the audience to listen to the couple grossly slurp each others’ faces off.
Being that she officially decided to move to LA, Darcey decided to meet up with her new man in NYC, as geography has never been an issue for her in a relationship. She showered, shaved, and shined up her tan in preparation as she packed multiple tight sequined outfits for the 48 hour trip.
We got to meet Georgi, her hunky 33 year old Bulgarian former rose farmer turned model/swashbuckling pirate with a third grade girl’s ponytail (you know, blunt cut, no layers, not high, not low…just awkwardly swinging in the back). He had met Darey shockingly through social media before meeting up in person at a Superbowl party and enjoyed her heart and large boobies.
Georgi showed up with a bouquet of roses, which you know probably made Darcey want to cry…..as they strolled off to a romantic dinner at an iconic NY restaurant. Georgi the dreamboat presented Darcey with a vial of rose oil, extracted from 1000 roses by having Father Chuck stomp on them in a barrel in Bulgaria with his barnacle feet (they flew him in special), and it’s more precious than gold. Darce explains that all 5 of her senses are working overtime (probably because his rose perfume, her perfume shower, and the smell of Italian food are all colliding), as she gets choked up, right on cue.
She invites Georgi and his phallic ponytail up to her hotel room for a little night cap, where she requests to experience his massage therapist skills. After laying on her back and exposing her extensions, she heads to the bathroom to take off her pants and reveal her bodysuit, asking if she looked “snatched”.
Looks like both twins had their own sexytime foreign affairs this episode, and I’m sure they will compare and compete about who’s was sexier next week.
I hope Florian gets his own spin off of this spin off and it’s like an inception of spin offs where he just says the words “strawberry” and “understand” and stares blankly for 45 minutes.
Spot on!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Besides just saying Understand and Strawberry, Florian must also say Yes, My Angel in his spin off.
You rock every show…even the very bad ones! I won’t watch them, but your recap makes me feel like I just watched a new and improved version! Thank you!!! (#deepcarwashthoughs) lol!!1
Wow, this is so amazing!
More great reads to look forward too!!
Your way to funny,really enjoying you and your recaps, better than pillow talk…btw, still laughing at the barnacles… lololol!!!
Your way to funny,really enjoying you and your recaps, better than pillow talk…btw, still laughing at the barnacles… lololol!!!
Now I feel like I don’t have to watch this stupid show (which I never have). LOL!
Thanks Erica! Hilarious play by play!!!!!!
I don’t watch this. Your recaps provide all the entertainment without having to suffer through the tears!!!! Thanks for sacrificing yourself for the many of us who enjoy your posts!
Your recaps never disappoint! Makes watching the actual shows tolerable, knowing I can read or hear your hilarious take on them. I’ve suggested to my expectant friends to follow you for baby name suggestions! 😀😂😂
Funny! Thanks😊 don’t watch the show myself. They are too much lol
I hope you write for a living. This is so good! Thank you.
OMG, hilarious!
Ok, I haven’t watched, so I thank you for your hilarious recap. I just can’t watch them and their fake faces.