The Other Way; S2, EP 7

Brittany & Yazan:

We see Brittany crying from last week’s tumultuous meeting with the Family Yazan. She doesn’t seem to know where it all went wrong.Yazan leaves with her and they take off in the Kia Sephia towards their new apartment, while Brittany is having a mental breakdown. She claimed to have told Yazan she couldn’t get married until January when her father could attend (which, might be true, but probably more so because of her divorce not yet being finalized). Brittany regrets coming to Jordan altogether and said it was the stupidest thing she’s ever done, however, something tells me it’s probably only in her top 5…

The mood seemed to change once the couple arrived at the swanky apartment. Yazan had put together a romantic surprise of rose petals through the hallway, leading up to the bed. Then, he left. (He must’ve seen this gesture in a movie, but his parents never let him watch the ending). Brittany feels conflicted because she does think she loves Yazan, but not enough to be called “Baby” and cover her pricey weave. Yazan wants to make things work, so he plans to seek the advice of his worldly uncle, who he’s hoping can help him speak to his parents about easing up on the rules. I’m guessing this is like the “I’m not a regular uncle, I’m a cool uncle”, kind of guy, and I hope he slips something in their hookah to make them chill out.                                                              

Karmando:

Now that they’re finally together after 8 FREAKING EPISODES, I will refer to them by their impressive celebrity name, Karmando. Kenneth arrived at the casa de la Karmando to a home cooked candlelit shrimp dinner Armando had made. They had such a touching reunion, as they embraced in the doorway to some pretty triumphant music. The camera crew was told to call it a night, as they were kicked out so the couple could have some much needed alone time.

The next morning, team Karmando set out to do some exploring around their new neighborhood. Kenneth began to realize he was not in Kansas anymore, as he had a hard time finding street signs and dealing with “road dirt” and stray animals. Armando brought Kenneth to a candy vendor on the street to try out some Mexican candy (which can be like eating a few Fireballs at once mixed with some Warheads, depending). The candy was served up by a nice man with a fly swatter. It’s hard to see why Kenny would be weary of trying unwrapped candy from a guy with a fly swatter in the middle of the street, who picked up said candy with his bare hands that he probably used to pet all of the stray dogs, would be a problem….what a germaphobe! (Don’t worry, Kenny…. This was B.C.- Before Coronavirus. Now everything is covered in hand sanitizer. Dreams really do come true). Kenny ended up spitting out the spiced plum candy, describing it as “a blood clot with salsa”, while the candy salesman looked on, glaring, shaking the fly swatter with disapproval.

After the candy incident they wandered on over to what looked like a house, but was actually a bodega.They bought a bottle of water awkwardly, with a quick beginner lesson on the value of the peso. All of this culture shock was making them hungry, so they sat down for breakfast at a restaurant on the street, where- after they panned to the cute little ladies using their bare hands to make tortillas, Kenny asked “What type of food is this?” while Armando sat there, blinking, thinking about how cute Kenny is, before answering the obvious….Meixcan food. (Kenny earned another angry fly swatter shake by the Candyman). Another patron of the restaurant looked over and said “what the hell did you think it was, Italian?!” which was the highlight of the evening for me, personally. Armando had to order food for #TeamKarmando, seeing as how Kenny doesn’t really understand Spanish (even the easy words, like “eggs” and “plate”). Armando ordered Kenny steak and eggs, which was nothing like the Grand Slam Breakfast Kenny was picturing. 

Listen Kenny, if you don’t like your desayuno, you can just feed it to one of the street dogs begging by your table, which is riddled with germs, capeesh? It looks like the 90 Day golden couple is going through an adjustment period, we’ll have to give them a minute. But in the meantime, can production just hire the candy guy to shake the fly swatter-of-shame at everyone who does/says something stupid? Get that man on the payroll, stat! He made the whole episode. 

Cheesestick & Melyza:

Every time I write about Cheesestick, everyone’s like “WHO???” So hopefully now that Melyza has made an appearance in episode freaking 8, someone might remember her. We finally get to meet the future Mrs.Cheeseball in Columbia, where she is preparing for Tim’s arrival. Melyza seems like a nice, normal girl so far, with a horrible case of resting bitch face that she is fully aware of. She feels unsure if she will be able to let go of the fact that Tim McCheesy double dipped on her, but she’s willing to give it a try. She made the mistake of telling her mother about the infidelity, and now mama is not a Tim fan.

If all else fails, Melyza could always move to Bucaramunga and become an Instagram model and meet another fiance, no problem. (All of the best models come from Bucaramunga. Also, I just like to say “Bucaramunga”). Tim gets the fly-swatter-of-shame.

Jenny & SueMee/Summitt/SooMee:

Jenny, desperate to find out the true status of the divorce, accompanied Soomee to his lawyer’s office (who was not as hot as Larissa’s lawyer, but pretty close). The lawyer told Jenny that Stewmeat is doing a great job of trying to get this divorce to happen, hoping that would be a sufficient enough answer. However, Jenny wanted receipts. Unfortunately, it seems they will have to send the paperwork to Sioux-me’s permanent residence, which is considered to be his parents’ house (not sure why they couldn’t just send it to the cow poop house they’re living in?? Maybe someone stole the mailbox). 
It is during this time that Jenny informs the world that she took Summitt’s virginity… and I’m pretty sure everyone just sat there blinking, trying to understand how the universe works. 
Jenny is concerned that Smee’s parents will ground him and say he can’t marry her (their favorite storyline) and she will have to go snatch up someone else’s virginity. 
Later on, Jenny is getting all fancy with her brown lipstick to go have a picnic in the park with Sueme’s friends and their wives. She seems hopeful to make some female friends in her new hometown, but her dreams of “girl time”(you know, watching Lifetime India movies and talking about their changing bodies) are crushed, when she soon finds out that the wives did not show up, due to the fact that they disapprove of the relationship. Being that this was now a guy’s picnic, no one remembered to bring food, and they were just all awkwardly hanging out on a blanket. (It’s probably for the best that there was no food… that place looks like you’d be having a picnic in Lion Country Safari between all of the random monkeys, rogue cows, and dogs hopping around. That’s a whole other animal attack show waiting to happen). Suumitt’s friends were a little two-faced, making jokes and comments about the unconventional couple behind their backs, while being supportive to their faces (I’d say that earns a fly-swatter-of-shame). And I just sat here wondering why Soome and friends all had the exact same hair…

Deavan & Jihoon:

I, for one, am grateful that the poodle is back, as Jihoon and his mom sit down to talk about all that has recently transpired with Deavan. Jihoon feels very upset and defeated, as he explains all of the many ways he has let Deavan down. His mother, on the other hand, seems to be making excuses for all of his bad behavior and is pretty okay with it… except the crying. She is not a fan of crying. She tells Jihoon to snap out of it and change his ways. I asked my Magic 8 Ball if it thought Jihoon would change, and it said “My sources say no”. That thing never steered me wrong, and it seems like that’s how most of these people are making their big life decisions. I think Mother Jihoon should get like 2 fly-swatters-of-shames, and Jihoon gets one.