90 Day the Other Way, S2 EP1

What I did on my summer vacation:

90 Days the Other Way Part Deux, Episode 1- My first impressions:

Brittany & Yazan:
Brittany seems to be a fun loving adventurous aspiring female rapper from Flori-duh, currently undergoing orthodontic work. Though she generally only dates mature men between the ages of 40-80 years old, she has currently fallen madly in love with Yazan, a self proclaimed “simple man” from Jordan. The two met when Brittany was eavesdropping on his sister’s skype session with him, and Brittany found his beard irresistible. (Truth be told there are 1 million guys in Brooklyn with beards, scarves and skinny jeans. It’s kind of trending right now, she didn’t have to commute all the way to Jordan). Yazan is technically an engineer but currently dabbling in the fish market sector with his close knit religious family. Brittany lives with her dad, who seemed to know nothing about her relocation plans and was very concerned upon hearing them. He pointed out the obvious obstacles of this move including some setbacks in her rap career, less cleavage, and totally different holiday observances (which means she needs to stop by the orthodontist for some to-go packs of colored rubber bands to match all of the new holidays she’ll be participating in…. Everyone knows you have to match your rubber bands for the holidays…). Yazan’s super conservative Muslim family would prefer the couple to be married as soon as Brittany arrives before they move in together, which could be okay, if not for one little issue- She forgot she was still technically married. Apparently Brittany had been married to another man years before, but he had been deported and she went about her life conveniently forgetting all about it. Brittany sought the help of a lawyer, who advised her to make sure she legally ended her first marriage before accidentally becoming a bigamist, and then they all laughed awkwardly. This should be interesting. 

Jenny & Sumit:
Please give a warm welcome back to last season’s favorite star-crossed lovers, Jenny & Sumit/Sumee/Sue-meat. A brief refresher on these two would include such highlights as the following; Sumit originally catfished Jenny, claiming to be “Mike Jones” (her very own “the Williams”), later confessing that he was in fact 32 year old Sumit of Delhi, India. She had given up her entire life savings to the tune of $6000 along with her children and grandchildren and warm showers all to be with Sioux-meet, only to find out he was actually already married and she was in fact the side piece. She returned to America, devastated, but holding on to the promise that he would divorce his bride (who he’d married by way of a forced arranged marriage), and they could be together again. Currently we see Jenny stateside having gotten lowlights and partaking in some cross fit looking activities, preparing for her revenge bod for her big return to India. Sumit pinky swears he’s getting divorced this time, though his parents aren’t big fans of the whole Jenny plan. Jenny consulted her “financial advisor” (for the $200 she has left from her last India trip…) to ask about taking early Social Security to support her big move, because in addition to the rest of Sumit’s fabulous track record- he’s also currently unemployed. This storyline is basically Harold and Maude do India, but with a lot more crying. Can’t wait. 

Kenneth & Armando:
I don’t believe in much, but last Sunday, for approximately 20 minutes give or take, my cold, snarky, cynical heart melted when I was introduced to Kenneth and Armando. Kenneth is a 57 year old single gay dad from Stank Pete, Florida, ready to find love again now that his children are grown. He met Armando, a 31 year old gay single dad from Mexico, currently running a pet hotel with his sisters, as he raises his young daughter, Hannah. Kenneth will be leaving behind his son, TRIPLET daughters (omg), and grandson to move to Mexico and start a new life with his main man. Kenneth met up with his realtor, Sabine (who apparently loves the color magenta and is very matchy-matchy about it), to discuss the details of selling his home to fund the big move. We got to meet Armando, who was just an absolute doll (so far, I’ve been fooled before…..but not often), and heard of his struggles coming out as a gay man to his more traidional family. I really hope the only drama these two have is fighting about the pattern for their curtains, because I already like them and that doesn’t happen often. Don’t ruin my blind optimism, guys, I’m counting on you!

Ariella & Binniyam:
Ariella is a well traveled woman of the World by way of Princeton, NJ, who appreciates exploring new cultures. After ending a 10 year marriage with her Argentinian husband, she set out for a new adventure to Ethiopia (cue the clip of her feeding raw meat off of a stick to a hyena, and I’m having Tiger King flashbacks….). She eventually stumbled upon a man with a whole lot of abs on the beach and decided to cat-call him, which led to a blossoming relationship and unexpected baby bump. Her boyfriend, Biniyam (which I have yet to commit to a nickname but am tossing around BBB for Baby Boy Biniyam, or B3 for short), is an Ethiopian dancer/gymnast/choreographer, best known for his work in “Showgirls” (Kind of had the same resume as that guy…). After discovering they were becoming a party of 3,  Ariela flew home to New Joizey to do some totally essential spiritual prenatal yoga, as well as receive prenatal care. She will be flying back to Ethiopia for the actual birth of the baby so Biniyam can be present, despite the lack of pain medication (I was hoping she had seen Emily’s “Hostel”-esque birth story as well as Karine’s very naked torturous birth story and gave it one more think. She may want a kiddie pool in  the states while accompanied by a doula with a nose ring instead….just saying). Looking forward to seeing this one!