90 Day Book Report: Season 7, Episode 1

I will preface this by saying, my initial reaction is that this group is super boring. I did see a preview of Angela getting Botox, so there’s hope that the season wont be lost. Of course I’m still watching. With that being said…

Mursel & Anna :
Anna, a mid western single mom of 3 monotone boys, met her Turkish boyfriend Metamucil on a bee keeper Facebook group. Neither of them speak the others language, so they’re off to a great start. At least they have their bee keeping hobby in common, more than I can say for the rest of them. I did enjoy watching them reconnect at the airport, unable to communicate, with a random guy Mussels had met on the plane (Sidenote: I’d like to mention that I HATE bees. They absolutely terrify me, no matter how “important” they are. Just seeing her playing with them gave me the worst anxiety. Im just putting that out there, not for discussion. Go sting yourself if you disagree.)

Michael & Juliana:
Speaking of the most obnoxious, douchey careers…People who work as “wine connoisseurs” are just so busy sniffing grapes and each other’s asses. Cue Michael, an older guy with two flatulent children, Max and CeCe. (Undoubtedly he and his ex wife are big fans of “The Nanny”). They were actually pretty hilarious, between the fart jokes and on point observations.
Juliana, his prey mantis with abs of a 20 yr girlfriend, will apparently be joining them in Connecticut. I’m sure they have a lot to talk about.

Emily & Sasha:
Emily is an ex party girl turned comrade, who met her personal trainer boyfriend at the gym. After 2 failed marriages and 2 kids, Sasha and his super sperm claimed Emily as their next victim. Shes slated to have his baby any day now and be wife #3. I’m sure it’ll be different this time around- don’t you worry, Emily!

Robert& Annie:
I kinda like him. Hes all frizzy (it is Florida after all), his son puts Drascilla to shame, he calls his girlfriend “Shawty “, and he kind of reminds me of Daryl from the Office. Annie needs to go to emoji anger management, as she sent Robert about a million angry emoji faces in 5 minutes flat. Poor Annie is really going to be an angry emoji, maybe even an angry sassy BITMOJI when she has to deal with his son.


Tania & Cinnamon:
Nothing about Tania’s intro made sense. One minute shes in a sex shop looking at “personal massagers”, the next shes protesting at political engagements, then she was randomly in South Africa meeting 1 stranger, but it didn’t work out so she met another. Shes a real renaissance woman. I actually think shes a pretty girl, though already seems super annoying.Tania’s mom needs a makeover, but she seems like a nice person being that shes letting the couple live her yard. Tania should definitely not wear her dresses from Rainbow for special occasions, not cute. All I can say about Cinnamon at this time is he has fantastic hair.