Before the 90 Days of Our Lives: Episode 4

Rebecca & Zied:
Rebecca wore a tank top and things got out of control. More importantly, I saw Zied blink like 3 times. All I can think about is the hygiene of smoking hookah. As Zied was gesturing with it wildly, I’m just wondering if the little mouthpiece gets washed? Disinfectant spray in between hookah-ing? Hand sanitizer? Enlighten me.

Darcy & Tom:
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous *dun dun*. We’re gonna need Benson & Stabler!
The case of the mysterious nosebleed is still an open investigation. They need to put little cones on the bed near the blood spatter to confirm the trajectory. Not really understanding how that happened, but he looked adorable with the tampon up his nose. He should just be glad she didn’t throw a Louboutin at his face- could’ve lost an eye. It’s so awkward that she has to throw in the marriage thing every 5 minutes, but it’s her schtick. It was nice of Tom to stop dating all 20 woman in his AOL chat room to see where things would go with Darcy. That was probably hard for him.
Watching her play cricket was entertaining, but I’m not sure why they had to use all of that padding. Pretty sure shes numb in 90% of her face and 20% of her body.

Jiminey Cricket & Pao #2:
That car ride was so painfully awkward for me to watch, I cant even imagine how the cab driver felt. Super sweet of him to bring her daughter that teddy bear as his plus 1 on the plane, and loving those crushed velvet pj’s from Ross he brought her. (No offense to Ross, it’s my favorite). I don’t know if it’s the hairline, the cricket body, the dead eyes, and now the manicure that creeps me out the most. Cant believe she called him the “P” word, and he just was focusing on getting to first base. This is definitely going to work.

Caesar:
If everyone on the internet didn’t spoil the fact that Caesar and Maria broke up before filming, here is what I would have said:
“Call Nev. Call Max. We’ve got a whole situation going down in Mexico. We know that blonde lady is not on the other end of that phone. All of those polish and acrylic fumes have really gone to Caesar’s head”. But I cant say that, can I? Thanks, I’ve lost all interest in Caesar, unless it’s the kind with croutons and cheese trying to smother my lettuce.

Avery & Omar:
The wedding dress shopping was no “Say Yes to the Dress” experience. I did really like the form fitted white sparkly one that Omar vetoed, but I guess hes more into a potato sack silhouette.
Liked how Avery’s mom was googling “bad things to do to Muslim wives” while they were at dinner. I think it was good to get all of that out in the open, and make sure hes not going to beat her with a stick. In the teaser for next weeks episode, Avery was disappointed that she asked her perspective husband to be proactive and handle something important, then was confused and upset when he didn’t pull through. I think this was the most real glimpse of marriage shes had yet😂 If you thought that was annoying, wait until hes asking you where the hummus is when its 2 ft in front of him! I like her moms new reverse psychology plan of trying to help her find an officiant for the wedding. Whatever you need to do, Teri.
Her poor mother….

Angela & Michael:
Everything she does and says is amazing. Most likely because she can see 4 ways. The Trump boxers were amazing. The crack house sheets taped over her windows were amazing. Her sex toys she proudly showed to her daughter were amazing. Angela wins.