Love After Lockup: EP 10

Lindsey & Scott:

Lindsey is strutting her stuff around the property’s perimeter to test out the viability of the ankle monitor (and make sure it’s not on the dog, while she’s out living it up at Walmart). After her perimeter check, Lindsey decided to take a relaxing bubble bath, which required a dangerous yoga pose so as not to get the monitor wet. With the wine flowing through her system, she decides to give Scott the green light to join her in the buff for a little ring around the tub. Just as a naked Scott was finally going to get a little action from his prison princess, the gross-o-meter went off, beeping on volume 11 (or maybe it was Lindsey’s ankle monitor running low on battery. But still…. ew).…
She had to race from the tub to a spot on the floor where the ankle monitor could be recharged. Lindsey requested that they continue their adult activities on the floor while she was charging, because she’s quite the multitasker. Scott admitted that his passionate night with Lindsey was everything he had been hoping for and more, despite the location. He was so worn out from the wild night that he was having a hard time getting out of bed the next morning. Scott decided to snoop around in Lindsey’s prison diaries (it’s kind of like the Princess Diaries but with more prison), and found a manifesto she had written. It was basically the plot to her screenplay of her current life events. She had written something to the effect of “First I told him to buy me a house, renovate the garage for Miley Grace, and buy me a ring. Then I will sell the ring and go on a meth bender, and never have to see him or his swollen lip again”. She tried explaining to Scott that the found memo was an inspirational quote she had found in a book she had read, but he wasn’t falling for it. Looks like rocky roads ahead!

John & Kristianna:

John is finally back with his fringe and braids in full effect! We heard him on the phone with his new wife Kristianna, who was calling from the halfway house where she currently resides to tell him that her family needed a place to stay. Since technically according to their pickup truck wedding they are his family now too, Kristianna asks if  it would be cool if they stayed at his wigwam. Between her sister’s substance abuse and her mother’s health issues, they sound like dream houseguests! 

John met up with his friend, an amateur mechanic, and his brother to discuss his marital issues. He told them about the dilemma Kristianna is having, as she owes a lot of money to the halfway house, but is having a hard time making enough money. Though she is waxing on and waxing off at her new car wash job, she just isn’t able to get ahead. Being the chivalrous pigtailed dreamboat that he is, John tells his friend that he’s been hiding envelopes of money for her in various places she passes along her route to work. John’s friend, who happens to be an ex addict himself, reminded John that this cute little treasure hunt is dangerous for an addict, as she could use the extra cash for muthaf*ckin’ crack.  John’s friend and brother also cautioned him that inviting the in-laws to stay may prove to be a disaster, and just to be cautious.

Heather & Dylan (and that bitch Aunt Diane):

Heather and Dylan are heading down the highway, destination unknown, with only one goal in mind; get away from that hussy, Aunt Diane. Dylan is trying his best to stay on Heather’s good side, now sensing the depth of her crazy, and starting to become concerned. After a few minutes of driving, the phone rings, and it’s none other than Aunt D, who informs the couple that Dylan’s parole officer is at her house looking for her man (Hope the parole officer’s wife doesn’t get too jealous that he’s alone in the house with Aunt Diane!). 
Heather starts to panic, slightly realizing that Dylan could be sent back to prison over this, as she swerves to the other side of the road and heads home. Unfortunately they didn’t show any more this episode… these two are really my new all time favorite. I hope Aunt Diane is playing a prank and when Heather walks in, she whacks her with her frying pan and then serves Dylan a plate of cookies and milk, as they cuddle and watch Perry Mason.

Tyrice & his picture of Chanda’s booty:
Not present.

Shawn & Destinee:

Shawn is finally home from work and checking in every nook and cranny of the house to see if Destinee and his 50k skipped town. As luck would have it, she was hanging out with a glass of wine in the hot tub, seemingly in a good mood with a full face of makeup, and living her best drunken pool life. She explained to Shawn that she was so upset over his conversations with his ex, and how she doesn’t fully trust him. Eventually they make up, and make everyone nauseous, as we had to watch them disrobe in the hot tub.( Extra chlorine, please!)
Next we see Destinee and Shawn flying back to her hometown for her court date. Upon their arrival, Destinie makes plans to hang out with her sister and have a girls’ night, which Shawn seems weary about. Every time he sees Destinee walk out the door, he envisions his $50k walking out as well. Destinee’s sister picks her up to go drinking and gambling and maybe anything else that could possibly get them into some trouble the day before court.
Shawn is blowing up Destinee’s phone, totally killing the “girls night” mood. She confides to her sister that she feels kind of trapped, and may end up running from Shawn. Meanwhile back at the hotel, an oddly shaped topless Shawn spends the night worrying that he’s about to lose his money and the former inmate of his dreams. 

Quaylon & Shovel:

Quaylude and Shovel took Baby Girl (who’s name I’m not going to spell correctly) to the zoo as a wholesome family activity. It seemed as though they were all having a great time, until the topic of going to Texas to see his family came up. Quay told Shovel that he was getting a one way ticket to Houston, but not to freak out, as he would be back eventually….Someday….Maybe. 
Anyquay, Shovel feels hurt and like Quaylon is acting very different from his prison pen pal days. She may be starting to think that her cousin D Mark was right about his intentions.