The Other Way; S4, EP 10

Nicole & SoooMaaachMood:
Back in Egypt…. (where I’m happy to report the chotzkies for sale on the street are as cheesy as you’d hoped they would be…)
Nicole looks like a mannequin impersonating a disgruntled 70’s cab driver as she enjoyed the luxury of her newly acquired air conditioning. Sick and tired of fighting with Machhhmood as a hobby, she decided to branch out and join a meditation class.  Of course she made sure the class was girls-only, so as not to ruin “the moud”. The instructor, Nouran, who was dressed in a modern fashion, came over to Nicole post-mediation to discuss her new life in Egypt. Nouran explained that Nicole had been living in “Old Cairo”, which was very different from “New Cairo”, the more modern and free side of town, now with shinier, less oppressive pyramids. Nicole sat with her empty expressions, singing The Beach Boys hit in her head”
“OOOooo I wanna take you down to New Cai-ro, we’ll get there fast and let our ankles show. Even if Machmooood says ‘Noooo’, let’s go to New Cai-ro”.
Nouran went on to explain that most Egyptian men are controlling, despite the fact that they may call you “honey” and tell you they love you every 30 seconds. Nicole felt validated for everything she had been feeling in her relationship, and grateful to have met a new friend.

She was so mach excited about meeting Neuron that she wanted to introduce her to Machmood as soon as possible (because I’m thinking Nicole’s “neurons” aren’t firing properly). They all met up at a restaurant and immediately began to argue about how Nicole should be able to live her life in Egypt. Nouron tried to explain to Maaachmood that she isn’t against him, but rather is hoping he can trust his wife enough to loosen the reins (As Nicole sat by looking like a blow up doll watching a ping pong match). Maaaachmood stood his ground on the subject of women being covered, primarily because he can’t help himself from staring at a pair of exposed female legs or “bobs”. He didn’t feel it necessary to cover his own bony frog legs, however, as they were nothing to write home about. Neuron and Maaachmood argued back and forth, finally agreeing to not agree at all. Nicole’s takeaway from the meetup was that she appreciated Mooodyblue’s stick-to-itiveness when it came to being the fashion police….even though that’s been her biggest complaint. My brain hurts..

Later on (and 752 “I love you honey”’s later….) Machmoood took Nicole out on a date night to a rather unusual location; The side of a bridge. Of course my initial reaction was that he was going to chuck her over the side ever so slightly so her ankles wouldn’t show on the way down, but instead, they went to dine at a food cart while gazing into oncoming traffic. Nicole explained her joy in finding a new friend in Nouran, and how she was finally starting to feel normal in her surroundings. As she described her excitement and validation for feeling controlled, Machmood proposed the idea that Nicole should stop talking to Neuron, as he felt he was a bad influence. Nicole chuckled, thinking her scrawny husband was kidding, as the two sipped hummus soup with a side of exhaust. 

Rishi & Jen:

The Indian Jesus (who was somehow free on Easter Sunday…), headed over on his cool-guy motorcycle to meet with his friend Nitesh at some kind of shady looking building that was a “Mujra”, which I’m thinking is sort of like a strip club minus the stripping. As the girls danced the Indian version of Elizabeth Berkley’s “Striptease” infamous pool dance, Rishi let Nitesh know Jen was en route back to India. Aside from being a Mujra regular, Nitesh conveniently also dabbles in astrology. He let Rishi know that a marriage with Jen would be a very difficult battle, but if he was all-in, he should wait to tell his family until August 2nd (Rishi slipped him a $20, as this was even later than he had intended).
Jen finally arrived back in India, nervous about the future of her relationship. Luckily Rishi was able to re-rent the same spacious apartment, but this time outfitted it with a portable AC unit, blankets, and some mason jar glasses in the Jenny/Sueme-eque kitchen. All of Jen’s doubts seemed to melt away, even if only for a few moments, as she stared into the Indian Jesus’s “smize”. He suggested that Jen relax by going to some kind of drippy oil massage place (hopefully not in the back of the “Mujra”). 

The two headed off to the Jiffy Lube Massage Parlour with their 20% off coupons in hand. They disrobed and slipped into his and her towels, revealing that Jaipur’s Most Eligible Bachelor had in fact let himself go. Not one ab to be seen…. Despite his lack of tone, Jen still felt enticed seeing Rishi in the buff, as the two laid down and were got the Crisco special. After their hair was fully immersed in grease, Jen turned to Rishi and his dad-bod to confront him about sending ab pics to her friend. Rishi went the old “Mike Jones” route as they call it in India, and just denied everything. Even after Jen showed him the proof, he still maintained his innocence, saying his online flirtations were just part of his modeling job description. Deep down Jen knew this was probably all a lie, but chose to ignore those big beautiful waving red flags, and believed good old Greased Lightning.

Gabe & Isabel:

Father Isabel asked Gabe to meet him at a local park for a little exercise and chit chat. He opened the conversation by asking Gabe to elaborate on the trans situation, specifically why he decided to transition. Gabe explained his painful adolescence feeling trapped in the wrong body, trying his best to help Father Isabel understand. Somehow, it seems that Gabe was able to pull at Father Isabel’s heartstrings, as he seemed to fully accept Gabe, even giving his blessing for him to propose to Isabel. 

Later on, Gabe took Isabel to the pottery place under the guise of picking up the pottery he had made with the kids, as well as having a go of it themselves. The pottery place employee taught Isabel how to make a pot of her own (and unfortunately Gabe is too young to remember the scene from “Ghost”… that would’ve been a good way to lead into a romantic proposal). The employee brought out the kid’s plates first to show Isable before presenting her with Gabe’s, which revealed his big plan. Gabe got down on one knee, and struggled through reading an entire paragraph in Espanol (How ya like that, Kenny?! ). Isabel seemed overjoyed by both the proposal and the ring selection as she gladly replied “Si”. She felt even more comfortable knowing her parents approved, despite being worried for their reactions. 

Kris & Jeymi

The newlyweds strolled “mono y mono” (that’s “hand and hand”, Kenny. Just watch the show…) as they came upon a bus decorated with zombies (Not Kris when she’s jonesin’… but zombie props). Kris explained that her financial situation had gone downhill ever since making the move to Colombia (maybe because she spent all of her allowance at la farmacia…). She decided it was time to open a business with Jeymi so hopefully they could have some money coming in. Her current stroke of genius was to buy a food truck and the two went to look at a few options. They both were drawn to the dine-in zombie themed bus, ready to call this one their own, combining the food of their two cultures (I’m currently brainstorming potential names with “Venezuelan Food and……… Sorry I fell asleep because…Narcolepsy” is my front runner). Unfortunately for the pipe dream, Kris got a bit of sticker-shock, as the price was far more than she had expected.

After food truck shopping, Kris realized it was necessary for her to go back to the US to figure out her finances and also get a refill for her narcolepsy medication. Jeymi seemed devastated, crying, as she helped see Kris off to the airport, threatening to sell all of her clothes if she doesn’t return. Kris laughed, thinking Jeymi was kidding (or… maybe because she knew absolutely no one would buy her horrible clothes, including fairy wings, onesies, and those awful toothache-headbands). Once at the airport, the newlybrides kissed goodbye and then……. Sorry, I fell asleep. Porque la narcolepsia (That’s “Beacuse…Narcolepsy, Kenny). 

Debbie & Ossama:

After being gone from last week’s episode, the dynamic duo returned this week stronger than ever, by attending a local poetry reading. Debbie was inspired listening to all of the youngsters read their works, but not as impressed as she was when Oussama stood up to read his Debbie-inspired poetry. Though he was a bundle of nerves reading his poem in front of a crowd, he smiled his toothless grin, feeling empowered by his love. Debbie sat smitten, hanging on Ossama’s every word which was something to the effect of “Roses are red, Violets are blue, Debbie I get googly-eyed when I think about you.. And all of the other times”. (Ok maybe that wasn’t it, but it did include something about “holding his bones”). Nevertheless, Debbie needed to be hosed off after the heat from the poem, and the two seemed to be in a great place.Can’t wait to see Debbie “Meet the Parents”, who are probably a lot younger than she is. 

Daniele & Yohan:

Daniele was still trying to convince Yohan it would be a good time for them to meet up with her friend/ex boyfriend who happens to be in town. Though Yohan is one of the biggest men, he’s not big enough to get over the whole “ex boyfriend” factor, and refused. He questioned if this was normal in Daniele’s culture, or if she was just disrespectful (I’m thinking option B). After a few beers and a hot temper, he stomped out of the restaurant to leave. Danielle was afraid of Yohan driving in this condition, so she hopped in his lap to try and stop him.
Looks like the Lurch of the Dominican Repooblic has finally had enough, as the previews show him almost at his breaking point.