Love After Lockup; S3, EP 32

Lacy & Papa Chain:
Chon is feeling introspective and sits down to draft a “Dear Lacey” letter on his stationary that reads “From the desk of Chon”. He headed over to Lacey’s place to hand deliver the extra special letter to her mailbox. Feeling emotional and unable to cope, he started to fall back into old habits and was heading the bar, but thought first to call his friend and ex cellmate, Flloyd. In order to save him from getting into trouble, Flloyd met him in an empty parking lot with a pocket full of ice cream to ease his troubles. As the two ex “bunkies” enjoyed their treats, Chon admitted he was struggling since hearing about Lacey’s defiance and starting a new life, but he wants to stay out of trouble this time. Hopefully he won’t go on an ice cream  bender and hold up a Mr. Softee truck…

Michael & Sarah:
Michael is randomly packing his stuff to leave after having his fix of playing house, claiming to be going to Flint to visit his family. Sarah is skeptical of his travel plans, but she tries not to pick a fight. Michael stared at her blankly, claiming to bring his stinger back to the hive as he bid farewell to the pretty girls. 
Next we see Sarah making guacamole for her girls’ night with her friend Emmy, looking pretty upset since she hadn’t heard from Michael since he left (Though I tried hard to focus on the subject matter, the hairstylist in me was tossing around ideas of sending her Olaplex, hot oil treatments, banning her from Sally’s Beauty Supply and more specifically BW and 40 volume developer….and of course Shimmer Lights. But I’ll continue…)
Emmy questioned Sarah’s rekindled relationship with Michael, trying to point out all of the obvious flaws and steer her away from letting him rule her life as per usual. She also convinced Sarah to call her recent ex boyfriend, Malcolm, to meet up and talk about what happened. Once they were a few margaritas in, Sarah revealed the true Michael appeal- the self-proclaimed “devil d*ck”. She even googled it’s definition to read “A member so magnificent it is capable of enchantment”. Hide ya wives….

John & Kristianna:
John and Kristianna are vaping all the way home to start their new life together in the free world. Kristianna is nervous about meeting 3 out of John’s 8 children. (Yes that’s right, John reproduced 8 times. With multiple women. What am I missing? Is it the devil D again?) John’s eldest daughter, Kristin was skeptical about the relationship, claiming to have been blindsided upon hearing about her dad’s speedy marriage. She predicted that the marriage will last a year at best. Kristianna and her mother had a touching reunion, with her mother claiming that THIS will be the time she finally gets her life back on track. They all sat down to eat with John’s kids for an awkward family dinner of fried chicken and ketchup, while Kristianna reminisced about losing custody of her own son many years ago. Feeling overwhelmed, she decided to head off to bed early, excusing herself from the table, while the kids looked on awkwardly. 
Next we see John and Kristianna scantily clad in bed together after a night of wedded bliss that was thankfully not captured on film. Kristianna (who hopefully showered after that wild evening) accompanied her mother and her oxygen tank on a walk and out for a little breakfast. Kristianna’s mother Tammy admitted that she felt something wasn’t right with John, and wondered how he was financing all of his recent purchases and home improvements (It also probably didn’t help that he was previously in prison for fraud). She then told Kristianna about John and Terra’s close relationship, worrying that it could cause Kristianna to backslide if she found out on her own. Kristianna seemed taken aback to hear that her sister was trying to move in on John and his pigtail braids, but confessed that the motive could be revenge, as she once slept with Terra’s baby daddy. Can’t wait to see the next family reunion!

Quaylon & Shovel:
Back at home, Shovel is telling her fiance about her visions for their wedding (I would love to see her Pinterest board for wedding nail inspo). Since everything happened so fast on the Ferris Wheel, they had yet to call their mothers to announce their intentions to marry. First on the roster was Mama Quay on video chat, who sounded less than thrilled to hear the big news. She claimed that Shovel was trying to persquay him into getting married and it was “foolishness”. Shovel flaunted her ring around, antagonizing her mother-in-law-to-be, while Quaylon felt stuck between the two. Bitches be quay-zy.
Next we saw Shovel’s mom Sylvia and her signature gold lipstick drop by the house to hear the big news. Sylvia was also unenthusiastic hearing about the engagement, let alone Shovel’s 30 day wedding timeline. Sylvia pointed out the fact that Quaylon isn’t ready for marriage and she feels they are rushing into everything and she nor her gold lipstick will accept this. Despite all of the motherly discouragement, Shovel is determined to make Quayvel official. 

Amber & Puppy:
Amber and her mother are packing up their hotel room, ready to wind down their visit. They were waiting on Puppy to meet them at the hotel, but she was over an hour late. Amber received a phone call from her ex boyfriend/current inmate boyfriend Sammy, who surprised her with the news of his early release. Though she was happy to hear it, she was concerned about what things would be like when he was out, and also how she would break the news to her poor sad pound Puppy. Worried about her mom missing her flight, they left the hotel room, only to see Puppy sitting on the bench outside of the lobby looking a big ruff (get it? Because- Puppy.)
Amber’s mom questioned how Puppy has been, as she was noticeably thinner and seemed sad and out of it. Pupster admitted to being a part time alcoholic but claimed she was otherwise clean. Amber was trying the tough love approach, as she tried to hold Puppy accountable for missing her opportunity to hang out with her and moms just like the old days in the clink. Puppy just seemed lost and sad, as she got into the car with Amber. Their fighting continued, with Puppy eventually climbing out of the car, thong escaping the top of her short-shorts, as she claimed to be heading to the liquor store before work. Amber is worried what Puppy’s reaction will be once she hears about Sammy and hopes it doesn’t send her spiraling.