MAFS; S11, EP 6

All of the couples seem to be questioning what life will be like once they’re out of their honeymoon fun bubble. It’s fairly obvious this is the story production cooked up for the day (since they all seemed to have had the exact same conversation, ironically). 

Miles & Karen: 
Miles and Karen seem to finally be getting more comfortable with each other. So comfortable, that he decides to open up by telling her about his clinical depression. Her entire face drops, and you could almost see their progress unraveling in her mind. He claims it’s pretty under control, and is on medication, though he still struggles with bouts of depression from time to time. Karen claims to have asked Santa Pepper Claus for a masculine man, not an emotional man, as if the two things were mutually exclusive. I think she means she wants someone who takes charge a bit more, or with a little more confidence (kind of like Woody, but less dancing… he would be WAY too much for her). Listen Karen, you could be dealing with Henry, ok….Miles has fabulous eye contact. Hold on tight to Miles, just feed him some ice cream and put on “The Notebook” when he’s feeling sad. He’s sensitive, but it’ll all be okay.

Miles brought up the topic of intimacy to gauge how Karen felt things should progress, as he was trying to be (literally) hands-off and respectful until she felt comfortable. Though that’s definitely the correct approach, Karen explains that she wants the intimacy part of their relationship to happen naturally…..but initiated by him. So he should know when to initiate it in an unspoken way. Miles seems more like a written instructions type of guy…. 

Olivia & Brett:
Olivia seems to already be getting fairly annoyed with Brett’s sarcasm and quips. Though they are occasionally funny and I am clearly a fan of sarcasm, she seems to be politely smiling through a lot of his banter. They went out for dinner (where they ate crickets, and I almost had to turn off the t.v….), and discussed their salaries. Olivia apparently makes a lot more money than Brett, which he claimed to be okay with, though he made 100 sarcastic jokes about it (so he was probably intimidated). Olivia also explained that she’s a bit of a spender, and she enjoys expensive wines, dinners, vacations, crickets, etc. She seemed to be on a different page than Brett, who thinks more long term with finances. This seems to be the first real conversation that we’ve seen, and it seems like the beginning of the drama is near.

They later went on to discuss intimacy, and the pace they have been taking with their relationship. Brett claims to be ready to go, no big deal, while Olivia wants to hold off and build more of an actual connection. He, of course, jokes through the whole conversation, which she only slightly appreciated. 

They’re still in honeymoon mode so between filming awkward scenes for the show, they also got to swim with the stingrays (but immediately after, had to have another “relationshipy” conversation). This time, they discussed their daily routines, and Olivia mentioned that she talks to her friends and family like… a lot. Like all day every day when she’s free. Brett worries that she won’t have time to fit him in, which between her work schedule and friend schedule, might be true. She doesn’t feel it would be a problem, and has no idea how to have a breezy conversation (Miss Sunny and 70? Yeah ok…). During the contrived “couple meet up”, Brett was asked what he would rate his marriage up to this point, which he refused, being all extra and saying “rating people is dehumanizing”. Meanwhile, he overheard Olivia rating it a big old 7 out of 10, so needless to say he was pissed.(I thought he was being generous!)
Henry and Christina went to hang out with Olivia and Brett and it was boys vs girls. Christina, in her infinite relationship wisdom, reveals to Olivia that she is seeing red flags with Brett and that he might not be in this for the right reasons. Olivia took the intel with a grain of salt, as Chritina only met Brett for 10 minutes and also…she has no idea what she’s talking about.

Later that night while in the hotel room, Brett was giving Olivia one word answers, and acting like an obnoxious teenager. She couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to talk and what his problem was, making Olivia the first official cryer of the honeymoon. 
He did apologize, however, the next morning at breakfast (while sitting in those oversized shaker chair that keeps making everyone look tiny)They made up the ne, saying he was hurt hearing that their marriage was only a 7, when he feels like he’s been dishing out his best dad jokes the entire time. He’d better work on some new material during the plane ride home, they till have a few weeks until decision day….Gotta get those numbers up!

Bennett & Amelia:
The goofballs were in their hotel room, discussing what they’ve appreciated in past relationships, all while Amelia was wearing a synchronized swimming cap baseball hat hybrid creation. Inspired by their conversation, Amelia whipped out her guitar to sing Bennett a song she wrote about a past relationship. The song was super cute and she actually had a really good singing voice! Bennett was tapping his toes along to the melody and looking at Amelia with heart emoji eyes. Things seem to be going really well, and the couple is learning more about each other, including how they would like to raise kids one day. Bennett plans to feed his kids super sized Mountain Dew, as long as they keep the screen time down to a minimum (that’s definitely one way to cut down on “screen time”- the kid won’t be able to hold still!), and Amelia must agree, because she’s laughing with her mouth wide open. Oh wait…that’s kind of her thing.That’s one ironic 90s hipster baby I would love to meet!

They enjoyed the meetup with the other couples, who could all see their connection, and rated each other pretty high when it came time for the dehumanizing “rate your mate” question. 

Amelia and Bennett spent the last night of their sexy honeymoon building a blanket fort and talking. Amelia completely fell asleep (shockingly with her mouth open) amidst Bennett telling her a detailed story of something, but I don’t remember what, because I also fell asleep. Anyway, they’re still endearingly adorable.

Woody & Amani:

My new favorite couple are still getting along great, though they are a bit nervous about what life in the real world will have in store. Amani explains that she has previously been in relationships that had a powerful start but fizzled out fast. Woody seems super optimistic, and is enjoying his new role as husband to his “Sweets”. The two had fun driving in a four wheeler, with Woody at the wheel. Amani trusted his crazy driving and they had a great time. They seemed to be taking the lead in the physical intimacy department among all of the couples, and it even seemed like they were leading the group conversations. 

Later on, Woody surprised Amani by having candles and rose petals strewn around the hotel room and a romantic bubble bath. Needless to say, the romantic gesture was well received, and ended with one of their joint showers. The next morning, there was confirmation of sexy time, and Woody was excited to announce he had knocked off the chastity belt. Hoping things stay this positive for team Woodmani back in the real world!

Christina & Henry:

After last week, it seemed like Christina was really making an effort and shook off a bit of the uptight obnoxiousness she gave off on the wedding day. However, this episode we get to see more of the Christina from day 1 come back as she was rude to wait staff, complaining about her food in a super obnoxious way, and being a bit of a jerk towards production. It was painful to watch her talk to Henry over her unsatisfactory mushroom concoction, while Henry admitted that she can be a bit impatient and treat production like garbage. I can only imagine the things they didn’t manage to capture on film, and what she must have said to him behind closed doors. She seems to be pretty blunt, as she basically gave Henry the green light to make a move on her, which caused him to avert his eyes and stare at his lunch.

Next we saw them go paddleboarding, which surprisingly enough did not scare the bejesus out of dear old Henry.  He even made jokes when Christina fell off (though didn’t jump to her rescue, but hey…baby steps. Jokes are a major move forward!)

When they met up with the other couples to discuss “risking it all on a chance for love” (God I hate all 3000 times they say that on this show….), Christina was wearing a really unflattering sheer metallic mock turtleneck  top…. In Mexico. Should I stop the recap here? Ok, I’ll go on.. 

Bennett directed the “newlywed game”-esque question to describe your partner as a fruit and why towards Henry, who just said “Fruit scares me”. (Ok, maybe not, but he couldn’t even think of anything off the top of his head). Hello, Henry…prickly pear. 
Back at the hotel, they discussed going home and back to real life, and how they are both looking forward to seeing how the other is back in NOLA. It should be interesting to see them cohabitate, as they don’t really seem to have anything in common or even like each other. Let the awkwardness commence!